May 21, 2007

The Pursuit of Reality.

The pursuit of Reality.revised.

One of the many symptoms of schizophrenia is the symptom of delusion. Over the years since and before my own diagnosis of schizophrenia I have experienced many strange things which has lead me to question- what is delusion- and why should experiences I believe to be real, be easily written off as delusional by others?

I have experienced many strange things in my lifetime. These experiences have included possible contact from other consciousness and strange visions and energies. I have on one occasion walked along a street in London and experienced shops changing shape and taking form, of what can only be described as, a form of how they may have looked in past time. It only happened for some seconds, but to me, for those few seconds it was a form of reality.

Because of my diagnosis, these experiences are easily written off as delusional and put down to a symptom of schizophrenia. It may be correct, I do have schizophrenia and delusion can be a strong symptom of my illness, but does that make all my different experiences untrue?

I do continuingly question myself and forever question my delusions. I question my own consciousness and my own reality, my own existence and its purpose. With regard to my consciousness my answer is that my consciousness makes me aware of my own position and reality, in my own existence. And what of reality? To me reality is ‘an individual perception, an individual experience’ of ones own position, in ones own time and space. As for my own existence and purpose. I just don’t know.

So, where reality is concerned, the conclusion is, my reality is my reality, as each and every one of us has our own life and our own experience of that life. Although, in so many ways we are all one the same, we are, as individuals unique and our experience and perception of life is separate.

Is it at all possible that some of my delusions are real in any way or form? To me, the answer is yes, they are real, or were real at the time of existence. There are many people across the world who believe in the paranormal and believe there is truth to these types of experience. Could it be possible that some of my unusual experiences are not simply symptoms of schizophrenia or if they are a symptom of schizophrenia then they may not be a simple delusion as many health care professionals easily suggest?

I protest against how easily my own beliefs and experiences are dismissed as irrational or false beliefs by others who haven’t shared the same experience or who just think I am delusional because of my diagnosis.

To me a delusion is an experience and perception which has always held an element of truth behind it. I believe that most of my so-called ‘delusions,’ should be treated as a form of reality, as it was to me, at that time, and should not be written off as a false belief by the likes of psychiatry.

My own experiences are my own experiences and this should be accepted by all, as I accept that others have their own individual experiences and perception of their own life and reality as they know it.

How would psychiatry feel if I said that because I had never studied or experienced life as a psychiatrist myself that the world of psychiatry didn’t exist at all and psychiatrist were in fact suffering from a delusion themselves?

I will finish by saying that we all see the world from our own angles and perception. Maybe it’s about time we truly widened our eyes and looked at things with far more vision. If this was to be achieved then I believe it would open up a far greater understanding of the mind and its fantastic capabilities.

All the best to you, whoever you are and whatever you believe.

Stuart Baker-Brown.

The pursuit of reality. Written for Irked Magazine By Stuart Baker-Brown.

Posted by Stuart Baker-Brown at May 21, 2007 02:46 PM | TrackBack
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