Is there a cure for schizophrenia?
Well, over the years i used to think not! It is easily assumed by the medical world and others that this demoralising and destructive condition can not be cured totally. Some years ago i thought the same and could not see a way forward.
Now in 2007 i can recognise that i am virtually cured of my condition. I dont live with any voices, sometimes i have fear of persecution but speaking to others, i recognise my levels of this symptom are probably only slightly higher, than which others, friends and family, sometimes experience for themselves. Its my own perception of the situation that is often different and recognition that my own perception is different helps to ease my fears.
I have suffered with all the symptoms of schizophrenia in the past.
I’ve always been able to recognize symtoms such as voices, psychosis, false and irrational beliefs, thought disorder, suicidal thoughts, depression, lack of motivation, the feeling of being controlled by outside forces and of course the paranoia and fear of persecution.
But over the years and after finding the correct medication in 2001, i feel that i am finally cured, if there is such a thing. This has been achieved by my own 'will' to survive and my own understanding of my condition, learning how to deal with my symptoms productively, working with my voices rather than fighting them, recognising that i do feel paranoid and feel persecuted, amongst other ways of coping. Recognition of symptoms and understanding when they were becoming active helped me not to lose control and spiral down that dark tunnel. 'Awareness' and 'acceptance' as well as correct medication, a personal belief in oneself are some of the keys to coping.
My own success has been achieved over many years and did not happen over night. Having a deep insight and personal understanding of myself and how i react to situations helped me to control my symptoms until they have now almost dissappeared altogether.
The other great thing i always held on to in my life was 'hope and dreams'. Schizophrenia can leave the sufferer feeling broken day after day, year after year, without 'hope' and unable to 'dream' for a good future. I always held on to the future and believed that one day, i would regain control where all other belief from others had been lost.
I now only take a very low dose of medication, seroquel, when i feel my mind is active-to help me sleep.
If i am suffering from schizophrenia now, its what i call the 'fall out' of the condition. I have had schizophrenia for many years and have lost a lot of confidence in myself and others and the confidence to interact in society fully. I also feel inferior and sometimes feel i am incabable of achievements.
The condition and the misunderstanding of schizophrenia has left me with many knocks and chips.
I still find social occasions and people hard to deal with. This is because of my own fears and how people may judge me because of my diagnosis. 'Stigma and Discrimintion' towards my condition. These fears are sometimes justified, sometimes not.
It is difficult to talk about my diagnosis to others, especially people i meet for the 1st time. It is also very difficult to initiate new relationships with a potential partner-once i mention my diagnosis, doors can simply close.
When doors close this knocks confidence and the ability to take future steps to interact with others.
I am also concerned about work and having to take things easy. Although my life is becoming far more active, after years of being treated as though i may never work again by the psychiatric services, doubts about overstretching myself are sometimes strong and this can hold me back.
So, the 'fall out' of my condition is the next big step to conquer and is being conquered. It is my own self believe that keeps breaking down these barriers and will continue to do so. Although my self belief can sometimes be low, it can on many occasions be great and easily outways personal self doubt and doubt from others.
The 'fall out' of my condition can be hard to deal with. The lack of belief and understanding from others and the stigma and discrimintion towards people with schizophrenia can be just as heart breaking as the diagnosis itself.
But the stronger i become, the more people believe in me, and the more people believe in me, then doors will open in relationships, personal and work, as they are and then life will be fully regained.
well, as far as i know no one yet has managed to establish the cause of schizophrenia. My own personal beliefs about the origins of my own schizophrenia, i feel, were caused by my upbringing. I had a very difficult childhood. I was neglected by my family and depressed from a very early age. I am a twin and my parents had the strong belief that the 1st born was the strongest and the more intelligent. My parents openly stated that my twin, as the 1st born, would succeed well and they openly encouraged him in life far greater than they did with me.
I always felt that my intelligence was unrecognised by my family and school. I have failed every exam taken, not because i lack intelligence but because i have always found it hard to recall what had been taught or express what had been taught onto paper.
Failing at school and being misunderstood and treated as a 'no hoper' by family and by the exam process, i began to feel low self esteem and depressed and felt from a very young age that i would always fail in my life. To me everyone seemed on a good path, had a secure family life and loving caring parents and i felt alien to this.
I began to feel isolated. This isolation, low self esteem and my 'noted' failure as a child, played on my mind. And so, i started to become paranoid and concerned about peoples attitude towards me. I began to feel very concerned about what people were saying, especially my parents. They would openly discuss and promote my brothers achievements to others but there would never be much discussion about me, apart from the disruption i was causing at school.
I am a naughty boy!
I did become very disruptive at school, threatened with expulsion, suspended on 2 occasions. This was due to frustration. I was unrecognised as having any potential and i wasn't encouraged by my parents to do well and felt persecuted by them.
To get to the point, i felt inferior and so paranoia began to 'set in' from a very young age.
I became concerned how others viewed me. I knew what my parents were saying about me and as a child this demoralised me and I believe helped cause the major symptoms of my schizophrenia in later life.
One of the voices i had to deal with in 'later life' was the voice of my mother. Her voice would always 'present' it self, in an aggressive scornfal way. I would feel her presence in my thoughts and see her in my mind encouraging other voices to swear and curse at me.
Her presence in my thoughts have now eased altogether. This has been achieved because i have not seen my mother or spoken to her for over six years now.
Breaking ties with my family has helped to control my symptoms. It has also helped to give me a new life and to realise my own potential.
It has helped me to become the man i know i can become. A man far greater than my own family were able or willing to recognise.
I am now, ME.