April 29, 2004

they found out

So, things at my job are coming to a head. I knew that, since I'd been having such a crappy week, everyone who isn't supposed to know that I work for SMH would be at the April 20th mandatory class on hospitalization. I was right. Lousy shrink #2 and Lousy Shrink #3 were there, as well as my current case manager. It won't be enough to have warned my case manager that: "this has been a rough couple years of recovery for me, and my job is something that's going well in my life. Please, don't make the wrong call, here. It's not yours to make." I don't want to fight with them anymore. They're pathetic. My hatred has cooled to contempt, and I no longer wish to waste my time with that diseased organization.

It's a good thing that I have a new job (if I still do), because I knew this one at SMH would end sooner or later. And it looks like the time has come. It's funny because, a week ago I asked my dad whether it was a good idea to quit my first job, and if so, when. He said, "when the time comes, you'll know." I think I'll wait. What's the use of losing your job for an unusual reason if you can't be fired spectacularly? It was good while it lasted, and I'm sure I'll find a new way to be subversive. I met up with my mother today and she said, "well, your goal at first was for them to get to know you as a person first anyway." It's true, maybe at least one of my co-workers will have a shift in the way they look at the clients after they learn about how I was all along.

When I next worked on the 22nd, my boss wouldn't even make eye contact with me, so I knew the gig was up. It turned out to be my boss' boss who had The Talk with me. Debbie sat me down in the office and told me that I already knew what she was going to be talking about. She says there's no way the situation can continue, so she'll probably have to can me. The official excuse she used was thus: "As an employee, you have the ability to read the treatment notes of your peers." Yes. My peers. The way she said it made the mentally-ill sound like some kind of inferior race of beings. I told her about my efforts to try to change my treatment to a different agency, and asked if perhaps we could work things out in that direction. She said she'll see what she can do. I guess I'm persona non grata around SMH, for now.

Posted by alex at April 29, 2004 11:08 PM


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