The Doctor is In

Background

Hiya, I'm signing in for the first time. Brian's given me a chance to give blogging a go so here it begins: I'm typing this in London at the mother of my daughter's flat. I've been coming down to visit every once in a while and things are going OK. The story is that when Mum had been pregnant for a few weeks, that's when I really lost the plot for the first time. Middle of winter, seven or eight years ago. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold, cold sweat and basically it took me a year before two police people dragged me off the streets into hospital. I'm sure you'll believe me that it was altogether an exceptional experience. Anyway, I'm currently diagnosed schizo-affective and receiving treatment up in Scotland (east coast). Really, there's lots of stuff connected with being ill. I'd say it's become a FULL TIME occupation. But I'm hoping, over the course of the next few years, to get back off the books and into normal life again where psychiatry is seen as a slightly sinister profession and being schizo is definitely not something to shout about. In the meantime, Im happy enough to whitter on about what kind of thoughts go through my head if they're any interest to you and we'll see where we get to.

Mostly, I'm OK. Sometimes I go 'over the edge' and then I'm in trouble. Several times the cure has been to get into the local hospital, a large Victorian establishment out in amongst the green fields on the edge of a nearby town. The last time I became ill, I had to work through it on my ownsome and although it was tough I think it's kind of hammered the message home that I must LOOK AFTER myself. I'm sure the hospital staff would agree. I certainly feel more independent for it. Living more 'in the community'. I have a wee house in a wee village/town on the banks of the river Tay opposite Dundee. It's nice; quiet and homely. Although I don't have much in the way of friendly connections with the place. That may come in time. I've been there about four and a half years. It was the accommodation I ended up with after I'd been an in-patient. It's only in the last few months that I've finally settled in, enough to invite people round. I'm supposed to be attending the day hospital a couple of times a week but that's kind of fallen by the wayside so I don't have much to get me out and about at the moment. That's soon likely to change because I've been over at a residential centre in S.W. Scotland and I'm likely to be moving there for the summer. It's a rural theraputic community with gardens to work in and meals to prepare and a large wooden house to keep up. I'll tell you more later.

Maybe that's enough for tonight. Speak soon. All the best, Alan.