May 01, 2007


I had my birthday on Sunday and it was ho-hum. I went thrift shopping with a friend and we went to the dollar table they only have available on Sundays. I didn't find much; but did find a wrap for my shoulders made out out a bright orangish pinkish angora. I wore it to the bank this morning. I pinned it together in the center of my chest with a butterfly broche with red jewels all over it. After we went to the thrift stores we went to payless where we each bought a pair of shoes. We got a deal because we combined the purchase. Then we went to McDonald's where we ate sundays and other food.

On Saturday night I slept over at my friend Kim's house and we had a little slumber party. We danced to hip hop and raeggaeton music. Her 24 year old daughter was there and it was fun. We got up and had breakfast at none other than micky d's. I want to get a group of friends together to go dancing. We will have to find somewhere where older people can go. I want to dance to house again. I have this old tape of house music my friend made me in '89 that I often play when I shower. I love that music. It makes me remember better times.

I saw my mom yesterday and she said that she will be leaving her house for good on May 9th. That is bad for me and good for her. She is looking to purchase lake front property in Texas with 5 bedrooms. The house will be 275,000 or around there. That is outrageously cheap for L.A. terms. Her house here is selling for 7 hundred something thousand.

I am thinking of getting a job. It is crazy I know; but so is sitting at home all the time. I tried the day program and I really detested it. The art class was just drawing with a magic marker on on picture. They had true and false about meds and trivia on history and other topics. I couldn't really see myself fitting into the program there. I went to a lot of trouble to get into it too.

The job I am considering is doing phone surveys. I need the money. I have to pay a phone bill for the installation of my phone line in this guest house that I am renting and also for the dsl equipment. The bill is $145. Ouch! So I might apply soon. I don't have the money to get caller id and I keep getting stupid phone calls. Wrong numbers or recorded messages. I answer all the calls because I can't see who is calling.

I began speaking to a friend whom I have not spoken to since last Fall yesterday and she invited me to a movie today. I didn't go because I don't want to see any of the movies that are in theaters now. She is so cool because she remembered that it was my birthday but couldn't reach me on Sunday. I haven't had my answering machine hooked up. It is hooked up now though. I had too be creative in figuring out a way to connect that phone because there are not that many outlets here in my apartment.

I got my bookcases in here finally and they make the place look better. We emptied out the last of the storage and now I have even more stuff to put away or give away.

The owner of the property I rent has a small dog named Oso (bear) and the little thing is some kind of Chihuahua mix. He is reddish orange and is constantly finding something to bark about. But the back yard here is pretty pleasant. My mom wants to donate some patio chairs and a table. Maybe we will have a bbq this summer. Sooner would be better though.

Did I tell you about the day while I was homeless that I was sitting in the lobby of my mental health clinic and this other client comes up to me and says oh I love your hair it is just soooo David Bowie! She goes do you know who that is? I thought well duh how old do I look? But I go oh well this kid told me I looked like Chuckie. She goes oh that scares me and she got up and moved to the other side of the lobby. I'm sorry if I already told you that.

I was riding around in an old school bus full of women and their children as we travelled from church to church to sleep. We would be woken up at the crack of dawn with no chance to freshen up and be ushered out to the same bus to be shipped to a remote location to be on our way for another hellacious day. The minister who was doing this program believed that the women in our troop were widows of God. I am so glad to have a roof over my head again.

This is the year of my 20th high school class reunion and I am definitely not going. I have nothing to say other than how hard it has been just to survive mental illness. I am surprised that I am still alive after what happened last Fall. I will tell you the story in the next paragraph.

I had decided that the building I was living in was going to be bombed by Al Qaeda and so I got dressed in a mix of pajamas and warm atire and set out on foot for a few miles in the dark and then turned toward home and found myself being followed by a man calling out to me. I thought he might attack me so I got in the car with another man who had pulled over and asked if I wanted a ride. The driver asked where I wanted to be taken to and I said Chatsworth. He said Chatsworth?! I then jumped out of the car into the street and broke my glasses; but didn't break anything else. I hurt my knee a little but managed to get up and go to a Denny's not far down the block. I waited there until dawn. I left and went to a market nearby where I went up to the pharmacy and asked for help. I wound up handcuffed with my face on the floor and then placed in an ambulance. I went to a local er and then to metropolitan a notorious hospital which is quite far from my area. I wasn't treated well as can be expected of that hopspital and was put in solitary confinement quite a lot. But seriously I did get to meet Michael Jordan and B.B. King there. That was fun. Also we danced a lot outside on the small patio.

Believe it or not.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at May 1, 2007 11:34 PM


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