April 28, 2004


I've dealt with the voices, the piercing hidden eyes watching you, the fear of moving else they would know, the catatonia, and I wonder why I need to live like this. Why? Why is it that we live this life? Get up only to never know what is going to happen next, what forces will bring you down this time, how strong they will hit you, and how low you will go, never able to get up...Isn't it better to just end this all when you are in the right state of mind. Not too paranoid, aware of your senses, aware of the thoughts, aware that you are not depressed, just not willing to live like this anymore.......No one has answered me. I'm still waiting as to why I need to live like this.

Posted by puzli at April 28, 2004 03:08 PM | TrackBack


There will come a day, soon, when the newer meds banish the horrors that you, my daughter and so many others are going through. I can understand the suffering which makes some days so difficult to live. You are not alone. When those meds come, we have to celebrate. Life will be then be so much richer because of what you underwent. One hundred years ago, people who were afflicted with diabetes suffered. Now that has changed. It will be the same for all of us. For that day we must wait. Have faith.
love, survivor

Posted by: survivor at April 28, 2004 06:31 PM

Please don't give up! I have a brother who suffers like you and it would break my heart if he was gone. Please hang in there...Much research continues everyday. I pray for the day schizophenia is obsolute.

Posted by: Barb at April 29, 2004 10:05 PM

Easy does it.
Keep it simple keep it sweet.
One day at a time.
This too shall pass.

Posted by: monica at April 30, 2004 03:23 PM

and we prepare for the final battle of mordor ;)

Posted by: puzli at May 1, 2004 11:45 AM

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