October 04, 2005


It is a conflict. On one hand, I want to change people, try to ‘free’ their minds, make them see the truth, but due to my experiences and illness, cannot sum up the courage to battle in the debate. On the other hand, I realize that some people are not ready to change. They won’t accept the truth. People cannot see past the choices they understand, and hence they are not ready to hear the truth. As the Oracle says, “Know thyself”. Then I try to think of what people need to hear in order to change. But when I start thinking in those terms, I get back the urge to fight for the choice I’ve made, and that makes me mentally unstable, anxious. So I keep quiet. But that makes me depressed. So I try to be with the ones who will understand, who have made the same choices. The conflict, still remains.

Posted by puzli at October 4, 2005 03:38 AM


Dear Puzli,
Two days ago I wrote a lengthy comment on your Sept.30 blog. When I clicked on "Post", the whole thing disappeared. I tried and tried, but I could not retrieve it. I wanted to weep with frustration. I was just too tired and rather in pain to rewrite my comment. It exists somewhere in cyberspace, I guess. Perhaps you were not meant to read it. In any case, I shall try to comment on your current blog.
What is your truth, Puzli? More importantly, why do you believe that your truth is the only one worth believing, and because of this, you feel the need to "change" people in order to make them think as you do? Do you remember the "gift" I gave to you that is so precious to me. Hamlet to Horatio,"There are more things in heaven and earth than in your philosophy, Horatio." Cherish your beliefs, my young friend, but please allow others the right to believe differently than you do.

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at October 5, 2005 03:46 PM

I definitely want people to live by their own beliefs. I'm in no way trying to force my beliefs onto them (i would rather die than do that). It is not their belief system that I am tryig to change, rather, it is their thought process that I want to change. Unless they bring about a revolution in their thought process, the world cannot become a happier place to live in. However, and thats a big however, I don't see myself as a messiah for people. I do not believe that I can show anyone the way. However, I would like to be open with people in the sense that they should also try to prove me wrong, prove my thought process wrong. And to do that, they need to understand my thought process...I've been bogged down with being forced to change my beliefs according to others, and that is the only thing that I'm trying to change in other's thought processes. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, the means and ends are not seperate. One cannot kill in order to bring about peace. And one cannot force their own way of life to bring about a change. The process is dynamic, interactive, and ultimately, leads to change, but the change comes with time, I cannot bring it myself..."After a time of decay, comes the turning point..." I hope u understand what I'm trying to point out, and that u try to prove me wrong if I'm wrong. love, puzli

Posted by: puzli at October 5, 2005 11:55 PM

Puzli dear,
Your answer to my comment greatly clarified the message in your blog for me. I agree with you completely(I think you can see that by what I wrote). I also well remember the blog to which you referred, and I agreed with that as well. One cannot produce peace by violent means, however pure one's intentions. It was at that point that I mentioned Ghandi to you, and you agreed with me. I think the two of us are an absolutely perfect example of two minds, both free to think as they will, who happen to think in a remarkably similar way. I also applaud your excellent writing ability as I have done before.
Respectfully and lovingly,

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at October 6, 2005 11:27 PM

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