State of Mind: April 2006 Archives

April 19, 2006

Live to win, dare to fail !!

I haven't been able to study and my exams are around the corner. I think I'll have to repeat another year. That would make it thrice that I'm repeating an academic year. Initially I was completely against the whole idea. It had been more years repeated than I could handle. My greatest fear was losing out on hanging out with friends, which spiralled me back into depression. But then I realized that it was the illness that spiralled me into depression. I never did mind being isolated. So I've accepted the fact that I might have to repeat a year. I only hope I get the degree before they kick me out of the system for being unfit to study, a stupid rule that they have here. Tell me if the rule is there in your country.

Live to win, dare to fail!

Posted by puzli at 09:26 AM | Comments (4)


Just wanted to inform u all that booze is highly contraindicatory to our meds. I had been having booze regularly for 10 days before I got hospitalized, and the doc said that it was the reason that precipitated my illness. So stay away from it guys!!!

Posted by puzli at 09:24 AM | Comments (0)

April 18, 2006

Change in Inevitable and Emptiness is Inexhaustible

It's the friend shedding season going on in my life. 4 girls have stopped talking to me. Here I go with the explanations -

The first girl told me jokingly that she doesn't want to talk to me forever, and I when I asked her whether she was serious and she confirmed, I stopped talking to her. Later, I told her let's break the cold war, and after long discussions with some fights, she told me that you can talk to me but I won't talk to u even when she had been joking earlier about not wanting to talk to me!

The second girl, whom I proposed told me laughingly that she likes our relationship as it is, just as friends. Later, I started getting threat calls from her ex and his 'gunda' friends. What ensued was a fight because she told me that I had ruined her life. There, we broke up and stopped talking to each other forever.

The third friend was upset with me that I had talked abusively to her while I was in hospital. I told her that I didn't even remember anything I did when I was in hospital coz i was so heavily drugged. She told me that you blame everything on your illness. She stopped talking to me.

The fourth girl had a fight with some guy, and because of that told me that she won't be talking to any guy now. She's stopped talking to me.

So there's the friend shedding season going on in my life

I wrote a poem about the 2nd and the 3rd girl not talking to me, but as usual, I want to get them published in my book and am too paranoid to put them up here!

But I don't mind any of it for change is inevitable, and emptiness is inexhaustible.

Posted by puzli at 09:31 AM | Comments (0)