November 28, 2007

Kristin's New Video Blog - A Personal View on Schizophrenia

We're happy to announce today that Kristin Bell who we discovered on YouTube earlier this month has joined our team as a video reporter and video blogger. We enjoyed her positive and clear communication in her video blogs that she's done in the past, and so we thought it would be great if she could apply those skills to helping us. Kristin is doing well at controlling her schizophrenia and taking medications, getting therapy and getting a lot of family support - all of which is helping her in coping with the disorder. These are the approaches that all the researchers we've talked to have said are good ways to manage schizophrenia so as to maximize your recovery (more recovery tips here).

Kristin will be focused on helping us find new videos on the Internet that are highly educational and related to schizophrenia (as well as finding positive video blogs from other people who have schizophrenia), and will also be doing a weekly videoblog herself. Below is the first of these videoblogs. Kristin is happy to get your emails with questions or comments - you can email her at the following email address: schizhelper@gmail.com Please let her know what you'd like to see covered in her video reporting.

Kristin also recently did her own video on her personal video blog that talks about her anxieties and concerns of starting her work with us. Of course its normal for anyone to have some worries or anxieties about any new project and thats why we wanted you to see this video. I think everyone can relate to the worries that Kristin says that she has. And we're going to do all we can to help Kristin enjoy the work, and meet her goals that she has with her job; we're making an extra effort to make her job as low stress as possible (and we hope you'll join us in this effort). Check it out her video blog called "New Job Jitters" here:

Posted by szadmin at November 28, 2007 09:54 AM

More Information on Kristin's Schizophrenia Video Blog

Comments

What great news. Welcome Kristin! I checked out your videoblogs and you are fantastic.

Look forward to seeing more from you!

Posted by: twinb__ at November 28, 2007 01:02 PM

I don't know what to say. I'm glad to be seeing more of what you have to contribute, since I've enjoyed what you have already communicated.
Trina Aleman.

Posted by: Trina Aleman at November 28, 2007 06:29 PM

Kristin! way to go!

I understand about anxiety about doing stuff as my voices give me pain.

I am out of work cause of pain and voices so I write or vent my frustrations.

Here's one of my ventThose who don’t know, take life serious, have baggage in tow
When all the while, it’s not their fault

Literally pawns for the amusement of others
When you first find this out, it ruffles your feathers

But then you get used to it, as a fact
And never tell, even to your grave,
or others , if they actually believed you.would not be so brave

We would go nuts, seeing it true
Those around you, manipulating you

But it’s not them, but the others who hold
Your future, your wants, your secrets told

Got to maintain the depressed image I feel
For this they suppress the pain that is real

Who wants to do more than farm or write poems

If thousand times before and with everyone they had fun
Why put this poor gal, on the studio run?

I don’t know, makes no sense to me
It’s not about sex, believe you me.

It’s not about torture, or pain would be solid
It’s not about camping, or anger, or balled

I’m not sure why they pick me
The games and the tease

All I can do is grow my character and try
To do what is right no matter the pain or how I cry

I have to be good to others and serve well
As this is strong in my heart, I wish I could tell

But you’re supposed to be humble, and solid, and kind, and good
Even though people know not why you do what and your misunderstood

s/poems.

Keep up the good work.

You can do it!!

Posted by: brenda at November 28, 2007 07:42 PM

Hi again Kristin.

I just wanted to show you
I too have strife!!

You're not alone.

see below

I’ve been trying for months to hold this job down so dear
My boss has been flexing for me to stay here.

Between the headaches, and stomach, and rape feelings decay
I try to get my work down, man, another hard day.

Still the night before I go to bed by 10pm, hoping to get 8 hours sleep in.
Reality sets in and pain and noise commence, oh no it 4am and still I haven’t rest.

I go to work on 4 hours sleep, I’m late again and I feel like a creep.
The boss is away so she won’t know; I try to make up the hours as the day goes.

During the day I have pain in my chest, not enough to quit but enough for unrest.
Then my head starts hurting like a migraine gone haywire
My passion, my goals, falling away, I’m on fire.

The next hour is okay, just some voices in my head. I submit a candidate for a job
Maybe this one would stick.

He does and our client is happy indeed but sends us the paperwork we need to fill in.
At that moment I’m doubled over at my desk, I know this is due but I can’t move.

The clock ticks and tocks and time goes by. I manage the paperwork but sometimes
Ask why?

Should people suffer pain shooting through the roof?
When this happens, on paperwork I do goof.

I am dedicated and hoping this will pass
How long will this happen? How long will this last?

My colleagues are concerned and like me a lot
But even they can’t save my job when my efficiency is in the pot.

Thank goodness the day ends and I can go home and see
The best part of my life happening to me.

My husband, his kids, our dogs and our life
This part of my day makes me forget about my strife.

Accept once home I’m really tired out
I can’t stay up one ounce longer or I will surely pout.

Why is crying so bad, I do not know
I’d rather my family sees me when I glow

They don’t need to know the obstacles I go through
I’m already hurting, they don’t have to too.

When my youngest asks to play, on days I feel bad
I have to tell her no and then we both feel bad.

But she’s getting to know how serious this is
And having a great attitude about it really helps me.

I wish I could snap my fingers and be like anyone else
Have a chance at a real life full of NORMAL strife.


But God seems to think I can serve in some way
I just want out of this agreement some days.

Here is just one more poem.

I too have strife.

See below.. and good luck!!

Posted by: Brenda again at November 28, 2007 07:50 PM

Hi again Kristin.

I had a really rough morning
as I went to bible stucdy last
night and they are trying
to have me put things in gods
hands.

But I don't want anything from
him as I feel he lets me go
through this. And we know it
is not fun.

I know he is in charge and
believe that.

And I had my work taken away from me though I fought like
crazy but was really sick.

I came to a realization and put it on paper.

I would like to post it as
to give our fellow hurting
friends something to help them maybe?

Here it is below.

This realization helped me.

Here it is below:


Respect

Respect is in your head
Things being taken away you don’t have to dread

You were raised one way and are forced to wear hats
But that doesn’t mean everything revolves around that

You are who you are and no-one can take that away
Even if you change, if you make real choices to re-arrange

What you hold on to and what you hold dear
Just because it might be gone, you don’t have to fear

You will never die as god has you in his grips
That’s for sure, he has planned for you more trips

Of learning and growing and teaching and more
Hang on to the roller coaster even if you don’t know what for

I used to think respect from work was the way to go
And to serve all day in a friendly way

I still do my best cause that’s all I can do
But my work was taken from me, from you know who

You’ve got to hang on to you that’s all
But love like there is no tomorrow, cause you don’t know what’s gonna take the fall

And just like people in accidents lose limbs they didn’t know
We have to ride with life and go with the flow

The more we resist and go crazy trying to be a rock of foundation
The more we find our feelings going on mutation

Just stick to your guns even we think death is near
Fight, and be sick, cause your integrity holds dear

Would you rather be a wuss and give in to bad things?
Or die with a smile on your face cause you were good and kind and what that brings?

Thank goodness I’ve noticed we’re allowed to have family
Even though they act weird sometimes, push our buttons, and hurt
If we approach them like jesus at least we won’t feel like dirt.

When we have had enough, and god will know that
Things will die down for a while at last

And then you’ll remember how great life is
And enjoy every moment that’s good and fun and gee whiz

Everybody has problems the cancer patient, diabetes, more
So stick to your guns and become a folk lore.

Posted by: Brenda again at November 29, 2007 02:48 AM

Hi Everyone!

I just wanted to thank you guys for your comments! I really enjoy reading them. Brenda I hope you are keeping a diary of your poetic expressions! Trina & twinb: Thanks! I'm glad you've enjoyed my videos! :) Have a good day! :)

Posted by: Kristin at November 29, 2007 08:00 AM

Does anyone have any
curiosity like me about
the voices?

Here is a poem I wrote dedicated to them.:

Horse riding 101

Where do you come from?
Who are you?
About your culture I want some

Answers and about your nature, rules, and respect.
What you love, your wants and desires.
The food you eat, the ships you drive, the planet, and your attire.

How long have you been searching
For things you feel lost
And trying new ways, but at what cost?

How long has it been since you’ve seen family
Or do they come with? And your home and me

What do you hope to accomplish with the task you do complete
Or is this your work? Your game? Do you compete?

And if you win, throw away the horses in tow?
Or put them in the stable with a while to go.

Before they come out to have some fun and some pain
So you can ride and ride and ride again?

Is it the fun that brings you back?
The power or the attack?

Is it the horse you like or love?
Does this horse fit you like glove?

What is the meaning, what do you relish
What makes you tick, or is just to fish?

Does it get old after awhile, do you throw us in a pile
Do you draw straws or write on paper
And say, pick this one if you dare?

Do you like the ones who buck?
Do you like the ones down on their luck?

Or do you like the horses that rear up time and time again
Or do you fall in love with the horse you befriend

And if so, do you really have their best interest at heart in the end
Or is it all meaningless, just a game? Monopoly or worse?
You decide who are and what respect you chose
I think if you continue, in the longest run you will lose.

Posted by: Brenda again at November 30, 2007 08:48 PM

HOW CAN THERE BE A GOD WHEN PEOPLE HAVE TO SUFFER THIS AWFUL MENTAL TORTURE AND IF THERE IS HES GOT A WARPED SENSE OF HUMOUR

Posted by: BRIAN at December 1, 2007 08:11 AM

I know,, it sure seems like
it...

I'm not sure what God is anymore.

In Corinthians it talks about
love.

bible also talks about not testing us beyond what we can bare.

but what makes me go on is my parent/ and immediate family.

I was fortunate to marry.

and before that it was bad and I cried alot but someone
there sure helps too.

I was single for 40 years.

9 years I went it alone with this.

Keep your dignity. Keep your
integrity. Don't falter. They'll go away eventually. at least for a break.

and then you won't lose yourself.

if you already lost yourself, decide who you want to be now and be it. character wise.

job wise -- doesn't make you a man/woman. thing wise doesn't make you a man/woman.

being a good citizen, and good to people does.

I fight and work that for that and it keeps me going.

I can tell you I've wanted to die and at the cusp I went out to the backyard and said
heal me or strike me dead, and things got better after that. Maybe there is a God?

Posted by: Brenda again at December 1, 2007 08:19 AM

Don't try this at home folks! :)

Posted by: Brenda again at December 1, 2007 06:52 PM

I had a rough night. I wanted to hang a
positive saying on the wall and my husband
felt like it was not in good taste.

I needed to vent so I told him would you
rather me get out of a negative mood and turn
positive, or have a pricey image where my
poitive thing should hang?

He through a temper tantrum and left the room.

I vented in poetry. See below:

They won1 – Dec 4, 2007
So far I’ve been the one, more mature
Despite all the criticism I endure

People like to call other people names and act like Pr__k,
You’re paranoid, your lazy, you’re not really sick

You put up things only college kids like to hang
In fact I think you’re really deranged

I only want pricey things, hung on the wall
Who cares if the sayings give you much gall?

Who cares if the sayings keep you alive?
Who cares if the sayings help you survive?

I want things the way I want them, just tough to you
He has no idea, I live in a zoo

Of sounds rolling in
Not just one or two
But loads of them, loads of them
It’s not really true

I’m not okay, I’m not all right
I’m living every day and night
In a zoo meant for mice and now I wonder
What kind of torment, they are under

I try my best every day to go on, and then he decides to pull a tantrum

I asked to hang something, positive in nature
And he blew a fuse, I thought he was going to blow a stature

I fight with my body
That gets sick a lot
It’s not only the noises
I hate the plot

The voices say things only crude can enjoy
The voices say things, I know is a ploy

To get up my gander, my temper, my tear
They won this time, which is always my fear.

Posted by: Brenda at December 4, 2007 08:31 PM

I had a fight with my husband last night.

I was having a particularly bad night and being really negative and weird toward him and my children.

I decided to get on a positive attitude.

and then this happened.

See below.

Will anyone ever write back?
I guess my poems are boring?

They won1 – Dec 4, 2007
So far I’ve been the one, more ______
Despite all the criticism I endure

People like to call other people names and act like Pr__k,
You’re paranoid, your lazy, you’re not really sick

You put up things only college kids like to hang
In fact I think you’re really deranged

I only want pricey things, hung on the wall
Who cares if the sayings give you much gall?

Who cares if the sayings keep you alive?
Who cares if the sayings help you survive?

I want things the way I want them, just tough to you
He has no idea, I live in a zoo

Of sounds rolling in
Not just one or two
But loads of them, loads of them
It’s not really true

I’m not okay, I’m not all right
I’m living every day and night
In a zoo meant for mice and now I wonder
What kind of torment, they are under

I try my best every day to go on, and then he decides to pull a tantrum

I asked to hang something, positive in nature
And he blew a fuse, I thought he was going to blow a stature

I fight with my body
That gets sick a lot
It’s not only the noises
I hate the plot

The voices say things only crude can enjoy
The voices say things, I know is a ploy

To get up my gander, my temper, my tear
They won this time, which is always my fear.

Posted by: brenda at December 5, 2007 12:11 PM

hi i am writing to you in responce to the anxiety at the work place video i could really relate to what she said because i had a similar experiance working in a garage with my dad i was working for three years after school and found it extremely difficult to talk and with all the pressure and the stress it eventually led to a breakdown so i think what she needs to do is get help before anything like that happens to her and the sooner she gets treatment the sooner she will get better,hopefully

Posted by: stuart at December 15, 2007 02:48 AM

It's very important, in a civilized country, to have law and order. But some of the laws are really dumb!! Here's a collection of dumb laws for you to read. These are real laws, but many of these laws were written a very long time ago, and they were never repealed (taken out of the lawbooks). For example:
-It is illegal for a driver to wear a blindfold while driving a car in Alabama. (Well, ok, that's a good law!)

-In New York, you have to buy a license to hang clothes on a clothesline. (Do you have to go to school, too?)

-In Michigan, alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants. (Well, where the heck am I supposed to park him, officer?)

To read these dumb laws, just click on the name of a state (in the U.S.) or the name of a country.

http://www.br3games.com

Posted by: Jobby Santana at January 3, 2008 07:37 AM

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