April 24, 2004

Think of yourself, too

For many years I was so tied up with my husband's illness, that I forgot to take care of myself, too. We had 3 children in 5 years. Seriously, there are several years there that I have blocked out of my memory. LOL. Taking care of the kids and M was quite a challenge. We both worked to earn money, but financial strain also was a problem. It was a tough, tough time.
I saw a therapist once who told me that I NEEDED to take some time for myself-do something that I enjoyed. I could not come up with one single thing that I wanted to do for me. I was so wrapped up in others that I had no wants, desires, needs. She made some suggestions- go sit in the library and look at magazines. Go to a coffee shop and just sit. Have my hair done. Plant a flower garden.
I really thought she was way off base, I was fine-what did I need to do these things for? But, I took her suggestions and started to put me first. IT worked. I felt a lot better and I had a lot more to give to others when I took time for me. When you give, give, give all the time and never take for yourself...you become numb, distant and resentful. Remember to take time for yourself, don't get in the spot I was in!
I still get myself into this situation, but I can recognize now when I need some time for myself.
When your spouse has a mental illness it is hard to deal with. Add to that the pressures of daily life and it does seem overwhelming sometimes. It can be done, though. Take a deep breath and press forward!

Posted by Jamie at April 24, 2004 02:30 PM | TrackBack


Ahh, thanks for doing your blog. I'm 21 and it looks like my wife of almost two years has schizoaffective - it first came to light about a year ago.

It has been a tough year... medicines don't seem to be doing much good and it is easy to get down. Nice to read your blog, it helps to know others are dealing with this okay. Keep it up - it's encouraging.

Posted by: Louie at April 25, 2004 08:15 PM

My husband has been diagnosed with sz for 5 years.He is still in denial.But afer the 3rd offence of domstic violence he is court ordered to go to the doctor,take his meds,recieve councelling and take alcohol&drug abuse classes.He is doing a lot better now that he has medicine.I work,have a 12 year old,lots of pets&use my computer as a get away

Posted by: mandy at April 29, 2004 07:26 PM

My parents have been married for 25 years. My mom found out my dad was sick after 2 years of marriage. She does her best to take care of him, but she keeps it all in she talks to no one. I have 2 other sisters and we try our best to help my dad has no one else. He can not work, he can bearly take care of his self, he sees a doctor regulary but for the past ten years there has never been a huge change. Seems as though his Doctor thinks it is as good as it gets. I am looking for a Doctor to help my sick father and to help my overloaded mother. They live in West Branch, Michigan. If you know any doctors within 50 miles that have helped anyone. Please let me know.
It is good to read some uplifting letters! Nice to know your not alone.

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