The Doctor is In

The Cruel Twist Of Fate

Thanks for your comment, Pam.

OK, here's how it goes: I spent a lovely couple of weeks over at L********n, the theraputic community. I've been there three or four times before on kind of trial visits and this was the best yet. True, I was feeling a bit washed out but I participated as much as I could and ended the stay having agreed to wait for a decision from the group as to whether I'd be welcome to join for a six-month stint. Back at mine I got the phone call saying that everyone would be happy to have me. Now, this was a real turning point because the funding was in place, I was willing and the green light was on. So, I began preparing myself. Now, coming from a 24/7 community back to my wee house was quite a difficult change to manage. I was excited. I was nervous. Often a dangerous combination. And so it proved.

I sent a couple of e-mails to the project manager to let him know how I was feeling. Then I sent a link for a site showing explicit pictures of "Nude Carrot Man", a rather amusingly-shaped orange vegetable which some artist had posted on the web. This was supposed to entertain because the work at Lothlorien is in the garden. I also ordered a package to be sent to two of the folk who stay at the community (one as a volunteer and the other as a resident). Now before I tell you what was in the package I ought to explain that I had been getting on well with people - surprisingly so. I found myself being more relaxed and open than normal. These two were particularly inventive in the humour department, one with a talkative sense of fun (the woman) and one with a dark, dry humour (the man). We'd discussed sexually-based topics in jest as many grown up children do. It was fun. Anyway, I sent a package of two (male and female) life-size naked inflatable plastic dolls from a toy store. Not REAL ones, just gimmicky ones. Anyway, the joke was that relationships are difficult and an easy answer could posssibly be found in blow-up partners. That was the intention. In fact, I had asked specifically for the dolls to be delivered on April Fools Day, when these kind of things are commonplace. Needless to say that the package was delivered early - before my postcard explaining how I was sending two "companions" reached the same address, knowing my luck in this matter - and I got a pretty swift reply from the other project worker stating that it had caused offence and hurt to those involved and withdrawing the offer sort of on the grounds that I didn't fit the ethics of the place and refering to "boundary" problems. I was away from home at the time and it's taken a week for the whole thing to sink in. I'm still struggling to make sense of this volte face and I'm feeling raw from the upset it caused. Truly BEYOND A JOKE! I'm flabbergasted that what was meant entirely as a bit of harmless fun has caused such a ruction. It throws me into all sorts of quandries and long dark nights. I've had to take a twelve-step moral inventory to salve my conscience and I'm dealing with the malovolent emotions the whole episode arouses.

Anyway, not to bother you with too many of the grim details. I had a terrible week; how was yours?

Oh, and my social worker has just gone for two weeks holiday. In China.

Posted by alan at April 4, 2004 10:41 PM