September 28, 2004

September has been busy

Majanay, I don't know the book "Successful Schizophrenia". You can search on Amazon, B and N, or through the library in your city or town. The L.A. library system has a fantastic site where you can search items. I know that you can also get obscure books from University libraries.

I decided to look for another job. I mean I've been complaining for so long now and now I've realized that it was probably meant to be a stepping stone and I must move on. I updated my resume and am now sending it out.

I must make more money if I want to eat the diet I am supposed to eat as a hypoglycemic. I feel like passing out a good deal of the day.

I've been having mixed states. Half the day really high (like I am a movie star) and the other half depressed. I am currently only taking Abilify. The others were causing weight gain and I felt they were not beneficial.

I was thinking about all these studies for schiz related to attention and memory and I was thinking about the only study that I participated in. They did not feed me and they kept me there several hours. Therefore by the time they got to the portion where you had to follow this thing around on a computer screen I'd had it and could not even see.

The current schiz update was fascinating to me because I was so happy that the studies that were described are being done. They are so necessary.

I went to Big Bear. Oh Lord. There were some Nazis there. They freaked me out. They did the Hail Ceasar thing and said white power. One jerk called me a porno star. Then on the last day I heard that there was a hole in our ceiling and the men were watching us take showers. Disgusting!! I went out on the lake in a broken peddle boat. I kept going in circles. That kind of sums up my life right now. A lot of effort but I can't reach the shore. Oh well, Onwards and Upwards.

I moved the S.A. meeting to Cornerstone (the center for homeless MI). It is going strong due to mandatory participation and a good leader.

Did you know that Schizophrenics Anonymous is having an open invitation to artists, poets, and wrtiers? They want stories of recovery, accomplishments, and SA fellowship. Drawings/Artwork/Photos/Slides-for black and white reproduction only-maximum size 11X14" (smaller preferred). Poems. Ohter submissions for consideration
Mail submissions to NSF, attn:Sharon, 403 Seymour, Suite 202, Lansing, MI 48933; (800)482-9534, ext. 109 There is a form you must fill out
to submit. Deadline is October 31, 2004.

If you live in California, please vote for prop. 63. It is the Mental Health Act whereby the wealthiest Californians would be taxed 1% of their annual income. The funds go towards mental health services. If we are wise we will set aside a portion for housing. Also, we need more funding for early diagnosis and intervention.

I had a good regional activity at a Mexican restaurant called Tequila's. We had 15 people. On Friday the 1st of October we will have a lunch buffet there. On Saturday night I got a group together to go to the Hollywood Bowl. I had a blast!! They had De La Soul, Zap Mama, Van Hunt, and last but not least Seal. Seal was fantstic! The whole show was great actually. My friends were not impressed until Seal came on. They were contemplating leaving early. They weren't quite sure they could sit through more rap or if they knew who Seal is.

I am still looking for a boyfriend. I really believe I have got to make sure I have a good base though. By that I mean I must be able to feed myself before I can be a human being. I have been confused about taking this or that course and have decided to take courses at UCLA extension in December. By then I pray to God that I have a decent job and can afford to spend time on self improvement. My mouth salivates when I read the titles to the courses. They have some that would be like therapy, only cheaper than therapy.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at September 28, 2004 06:36 AM | TrackBack


Hi Butterfly Emerging,
I'm a 21 year old art student in England and I have just read your blog (which I found very interesting). This year I will be doing a major project for my final year, to attempt to combat common preconceptions with regards to mental illness. I'm hoping to gain a further insight into the subject from someone who has experienced it.

The reason I'm writing to you is that after reading your blog you seem like someone who may be willing to discuss in more depth schizophrenia and the effects it has on the people who suffer from it.

If you don't find my enquiries too intrusive, and you'd like to help me with my studies my email address is attached to to the top of the page. Any correspondence would be greatly appreciated.
Regards, Hannah (just in case!)

Posted by: hannah meese at October 10, 2004 01:07 AM

Hi, I am 15 years old. Last Feburary i was put in the hospital for psychosis. i had craved the word "They" in my arm. My psychiatrist there said its post traumatic stress disorder, my other psychiatrist says schizoid effect disorder,my mom and brother say its schizophrenia, but what do they know. But they do know me the best.I was just hoping and wondering if you would e-mail me back. I would really like to chat with you.

Posted by: charlene at October 21, 2004 01:45 AM

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