January 11, 2006


I have been doing great lately. I haven't had pain in almost one month. I am only complaining of a little boredom. I will soon get to interview for the special ed trainee position with the school district. It is for a permanent position. The interview is next Wednesday. I was actually supposed to have interviewed for a position as a group home counselor working with severely emotionally disturbed people today; but since I got the letter two days ago that I have the interview next week I decided to not go to today's interview. A couple of days ago I applied online for a job as an instructional assistant in lanuage arts with the community colleges which pays a little more because it is a full time job instead of just 30 hours per week.

The Ups and Downs meeting went well last night. We had nine people. One of my friends who I had expected didn't come so I will call him next week to see if he can come then. I will be assisting one member in filling out his forms for dept. of rehabilitation. They require him to give a list of skills and his duties on previous jobs. He is having trouble doing that due to his learning disability. We are meeting here on the 29th to compile his list. I told him that rehab does not really like serving mental health consumers. They might agree to give you services; but then they don't know how to serve you. Or perhaps they just prefer serving those with a physical (visible) disability. The services which need to be rendered are more obvious. They have done nothing for me both times I have sought services from them. I referred him to Jewish Vocational Services because I saw that they offer a vocational training program for disabled people and the offer job coaches. They have a program called coffee cart (I think) and it trains for a variety of jobs.

I had a dream last night in which I was told that I should complete my B.A. and then get my masters in Spanish. Then as I was waking up from it I was dancing with a group of people to a song by The Temptations. Or maybe it was another song from that era. I always awake to a song. So I awoke invigorated and thrilled at the possibility of becoming fluent in a Spanish. I have this fantasy that I will one day go teach English in Mexico.

I stopped the the Lamictal. I had reduced it by 100 mg. for one month and then now I am on zip. My therapist was a little nervous about it when I told her; but my Dr. couldn't see me a week ago on our appointed day so I adjusted it myself. I refuse to be intoxicated every morning. I wake up very sedated. I still take lexapro and abilify. I take two other medicines for another condition also. I want to cease the abilify next month. My Dr will see me on the 27th of January. I will fill him in. I am currently taking 15 mg of that and I'd like to see if I can rid myself of the horrible pain in my jaw that the drug causes. Today I had a migraine because of that. I can't even be sure that the pain will ever go away. It is worth a try. I am also eager to see if I will wake up more lucid with fewer drugs in my system. My Dr. has told me that the drugs don't cause stomach upset or sedation; but those who take them know differently. I will continue the lexapro because I know I don't want to go without that one.

Because I have been walking more lately I have lost 10 pounds. I am thrilled about that.

I saw Chicken Little at the $2 theater and I thought it was just so-so. It really is intended for little kids though. There was some bullying and there were a lot of fat jokes.

I am due to go defend my case to Social Security next Thursday. I am really on the brink of losing it due to work; but I need to maintain it until I get my benefits. I have no other income or source of medical care currently.

I haven't gone to my friend's village yet to see the dvd. I will go on Friday. I haven't had much spare cash lately and taking the bus is a struggle at $3.00 for an all day pass. She lives quite far from me. I will combine the trip to see her with an appointment for a t.b test. I went to take a t.b. test for work on Monday and didn't have $5.00 to pay for it. Medi-Cal doesn't cover that. I figure they should because I will save the state a lot of money when I get a job and go off of my benefits. So anyway my mobility and social activity has been limited by my lack of income.

I would really love to pursue crafts such as soap and candle making. I have wanted to do this for a while; but a lack of funds has kept me from it. My step-mom says she wants peppermint soap when I make some.

My friend is having trouble at work with sexual harrassment. She reported it and now doesn't want to follow through on the proceedings. She doesn't want to see anyone fired over the matter. She also feels attacked and penalized for having had reported it. She feels bullied right now. They are attempting to force her to follow through. It is a little messy.

I am trying to arrange to attend group activities with this group I joined called Link Up. They have it in different cities. Here it is called L.A. Link Up. People apply to join and then are allowed to go to an event another member creates such as seeing a play together or hiking together. Also, they have a photo group where you are given an assignment and then you shoot that assignment. This time the assignment is Reflections. That sounds fun. Some other fun events offered was a crafting party and a game night with chili both held at private homes. I am trying to coordinate with my friend so we can attend one event together. When I have more money I will have more freedom to do what I want.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at January 11, 2006 11:51 PM


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