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I wanted to tell you my e-mail address so that if you would like to contact me you can. I have a few people over time contact me to be penpals and I haven't been able to contact people much because of my trips to the land of make believe. So here is is:
I went to apply at a thrift store today to be a doation center attendant. Can you believe that? I thought it might be better than putting a lot of pressure on myself.
I just heard that I can move into the shared townhome on August third. Yikes! I haven't given notice where I am yet. So I must buy boxes and get some money together to hire movers. I will have to sell or donate my bed because the rooms are already furnished. I will donate my dining table to a friend. I guess I am really moving there. I haven't met my roommate yet.
Over the weekend I hung out with a friend who told me that I am too negative about myself and that that is a turn off. Also, she said that I have anger issues. I couldn't say much to her after that. I was stunned. I internalized it. She said that even in my silence I am negative. What in the world does that mean? So I was sorry I was with her. I didn't give her any criticism; but I could have. Sometimes friends sort of piss me off and I just let them breath a while. I mean I put the relationship on hold.
So I wound up meeting the guy from the chat line last Monday night and he was nice; but we aren't speaking anymore. We were attacted to one another; but somewhere something went wrong and he didn't call again.
I am trying to find something exciting to do with a friend this weekend and don't know what that could be. We are tired of movies and dinners and I would really like to go to a concert; but she doesn't like to be a crowd that large. I am wondering if she would enjoy a museum. I am going to ask her. Her twelve year old daughter might join us.
I wonder if I am the only one who has a lot of memories from periods of mania? Some of my memories are really funny and some are painful. But I miss the fearlessness I had then. Not the dangerous part; but the part about being myself and plain outgoing. Now I have lost my umph and I am quite deflated. I hope that in time that I will regain my power.
There is a story that I wrote that I would love to print up here on this blog; but I am unsure if I am allowed to print the language here that I have in the story. But you know what I think I will do that very soon.Posted by Butterfly Emerging at July 19, 2007 03:39 AM