July 19, 2007

Hi There!

I wanted to tell you my e-mail address so that if you would like to contact me you can. I have a few people over time contact me to be penpals and I haven't been able to contact people much because of my trips to the land of make believe. So here is is:

I went to apply at a thrift store today to be a doation center attendant. Can you believe that? I thought it might be better than putting a lot of pressure on myself.

I just heard that I can move into the shared townhome on August third. Yikes! I haven't given notice where I am yet. So I must buy boxes and get some money together to hire movers. I will have to sell or donate my bed because the rooms are already furnished. I will donate my dining table to a friend. I guess I am really moving there. I haven't met my roommate yet.

Over the weekend I hung out with a friend who told me that I am too negative about myself and that that is a turn off. Also, she said that I have anger issues. I couldn't say much to her after that. I was stunned. I internalized it. She said that even in my silence I am negative. What in the world does that mean? So I was sorry I was with her. I didn't give her any criticism; but I could have. Sometimes friends sort of piss me off and I just let them breath a while. I mean I put the relationship on hold.

So I wound up meeting the guy from the chat line last Monday night and he was nice; but we aren't speaking anymore. We were attacted to one another; but somewhere something went wrong and he didn't call again.

I am trying to find something exciting to do with a friend this weekend and don't know what that could be. We are tired of movies and dinners and I would really like to go to a concert; but she doesn't like to be a crowd that large. I am wondering if she would enjoy a museum. I am going to ask her. Her twelve year old daughter might join us.

I wonder if I am the only one who has a lot of memories from periods of mania? Some of my memories are really funny and some are painful. But I miss the fearlessness I had then. Not the dangerous part; but the part about being myself and plain outgoing. Now I have lost my umph and I am quite deflated. I hope that in time that I will regain my power.

There is a story that I wrote that I would love to print up here on this blog; but I am unsure if I am allowed to print the language here that I have in the story. But you know what I think I will do that very soon.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at July 19, 2007 03:39 AM


Ah yes, the thrift stores are somthing you like! I love them too, best place to get things no one will have, things for cheap, broken in and not in "style".

You might should see if your friend could hold it in an attik, or extra room(the bed)...you never know if you might end up needing it. Beds are expensive, anyways.

I hate it when people tell me im too negative....my mom usually is the one doing it. Why did your friend say that? Usually people are doing things that bring it up....rather than just saying it....

Try going to a flea market, do you have those? I don't know where you live....how old you are. Sorry, thinking far ahead here....ah, ahead into "knowing" you. Just the other day I was trying to figure some things out I could do with friends(Or morely, my siblings friends, I usually tag along with them)...after an arcade and the movies, theres not much.

Oh, yes. I should possibly tell you abit about myself, if im going to be reading and commenting on your blog. Vian...isn't my real name. Its just me being paranoid(Or maybe safe), sorry. Im in my mid-teens, am female. I live in the U.S. and...thats it?

Well, sorry for the odd comment. Not the greatest day in the world today.

Posted by: Vian at July 20, 2007 06:52 PM

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