May 30, 2004

Four Walls-His Choice

Hello to all of you, It is a new day. First of all, I would like to thank Christina for her comment on my last entry. I wish the best for you as well and I am trying to get in touch with you. Please contact me again.

As far as my father is concerned, he has made his decision to stay in four walls, sending a neighbor to the store for him, calling securityon a telephone from his apartment, like he is in some hotel or something, and getting broke at that. He has made his choice. Not to take the medication. Therefore, I have made mine. I am to leave him alone until he goes back to the hospital, resume his medications for schizophrenia and stop this unnecessary foolishness of being non-compliant. I refuse to let him take me down under with him. He simply does not care. He knows what he is doing. He is not cooperating at all with those who are sincerely trying to help him. Therefore, the only time I will conribute to the site again is if I have some kind of connection with him at least by phone once a week or talk to the gentleman who he sends to the store and get some information. One last note, my uncle will continue to stop by to see him once a week and will see what he can do to get him committed by the necessary medical and psychiatric team if necessary. Thank you and good day. (daughterfirstborn, 46) Perhaps I will talk with all of you soon, I hope so.

Posted by at May 30, 2004 07:38 AM | TrackBack


I also can understand your frustration. I'm 40 and my father is 82. He refuses to take medication or even think that he has a problem in the way he thinks about things...his is truly paranoia. I've been between a rock and a hard place for quite some time. Ever since I was a young child I can remember of my fathers unusual behavior of how everyone was out to get him all the time. It was undoubtably horrible to grow up with and my mother just played along with his illness and never did anything about it. He was beckoned by the company he worked for to have a phyciatric evaluation for paranoia schizophrenia he and my mother both just ignored the letter and he never and still has not ever gotten treatment for the disease. My father has aleady alienated my brother, because my brother just couldnt deal with it anymore and I'm afraid I'm at my wits end, because no one else wants to help him nor does my mother want to help him because she's just afraid of what "her" outcome will be. Any suggestions??? I'm willing to hear anything at this point, I'm tired of feeling that this is my fault. Thanks to all in advance for reading my comments. Michele

Posted by: Michele at June 21, 2004 03:09 PM

to any and all-
what do you do to take care of yourself and not let it interfere with you life? there are very few people in my mom's life and they all look to me to scoop her up and admit her to the hospital when she gets psychotic. or to provide the answers on how to 'make things right' i find this incredibly draining. I've been managing my mom since she was a teenager. If i don't maintain frequent contact with her I feel guilty and the other people in her life attribute the status of her mental state to me.
I don't know anyone else who 's had parents who are sick. Please advice stories, etc.

Posted by: kaarin at July 5, 2004 11:21 PM

My mother came over from Russia one year before I was born. She escaped the communist regime by marrying my father. He died two years after she came over. She is paranoid schizophrenic. She thinks the KGB follows her etc. I grew up living in a chaotic environment. Even as a little girl I knew she was sick. I learned at an early age that I had to keep her at a distance because. If not she would always find a way to have a negative impact on my life. For example, when I was in high school she got paranoid of the teachers and withdrew me from school. I was out of school for a year and was unable to enroll with out her consent. I was placed in foster care at the age of 14 and released at 16. I have lived on my own ever since and I still keep her at a distance. I too feel guilty for not taking better care of her. However, I know it is not reasonable. You and I have to put ourselves first. They are sick and if you do not learn to break free from letting them be a significant source of anxiety and depression it will be hard to move on. I wish I had a family. However, I know that I can create my own. Also, we are so fortunate to be living in this day and age because doctors know much more about mental illness today than they did 20 years ago. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. People who are healthy should have the ability to be reasonable.

Natasha- age 23

Posted by: Natasha at July 9, 2004 09:53 PM

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