A Daughter's Story: February 2004 Archives

February 26, 2004

Caretakers Must Not Get Ill or Upset with the Behavior of Your Loved One

Hello to all, this is a note to all of you who have loved ones or who have to deal with schizoprehenia. It is not easy regardless. Two days ago, at fifteen minutes to seven when I am on my way out of the door, my father calls. He is not making much sense in what he is saying but I am listening nevertheless. He is talking about blood tests and other subjects. He knows that I am busy with college, laundry, have health problems, car problems, mental health situations, physical health problems and I have financial limitations. He is not making clear as to what he wants. He really is playing the role of a tall child. I don't know what to do at this point but to pray. There is plenty on this website for those who have this disorder or challenge to read, but he is not interested in reading this information, taking medicine or going to appointments. However, he will end up in the hospital and I am not going to visit him unless I am up to it. Right now, I am experiencing illness, as I am typing this I am tired, I want to lay down but I have a lot of reading to do but guess what? When I finish typing this, I the daughter of a father with schizophrenia will lay down and watch television for at least an hour. It is now 8 pm in the evening and I am surprised that the Darvocet does not have me asleep. There are a lot of things on my bed, but the books, clothes and etc. will have to share the bed with me until I have the strength to move them. You see, everyone, when you are tired, you must rest, you cannot allow another human being to wear you down, because you will be dead and gone and they will still be around and doing the same things that they are doing now that you have no control over. Five nights ago, I was up all night because I slept in the early evening; however, I must develop a bedroom ritual, go to bed about the same time every evening and prepare the night before for college like I generally do. I love my father and I have such a fear that the "voices" are haunting him but he is a grown man and he knows when it is time to go to the hospital. I cannot deal with him and this paranoia. It may be real to him and I know that it is not reality. I cannot tell him that though. He does not want to hear about medication; he makes excuses about Abilify and 'Aricept makes his legs hurt. He knows how to tell the doctor. If he can play the lottery tickets being on a fixed income, fixes his own food and pays his own bills, he can take care of his medication needs. If he keeps this up, I am going to have his medical team have the PACT team come to his apartment and administer his medication. That can be done. If I can't talk about it with him, they can definitely either give it to him or hospitalize him involuntarily. So, if any one of you have a loved one that is trying to get on your nerves purposely or getting on your nerves not purposely, do not let it happen, you have no control over anyone else's behavior. That includes a family member. If anyone of you have schizophrenia, take your medicine, please try to stay up-to-date with the disorder and take care of yourself to the very best of your ability. Please try not to play mental mind games. It will come back to haunt you. Please be true to yourself. Until next time, please take care, all of you. (From A Daughter 45)

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February 23, 2004

Patience Is A Virtue

When dealing with my father, I strive very hard to be patient. Sometimes I cannot stand to even look at him beause I can see that he is going downhill in every sense of the word.

I am a junior at a major research university and I have my hands very full with my own schoolwork, activities, ill health, work and bi-polar disorder. So, you can see that mental illness or challenge as I like to put it, is in my family.

I have no help in dealing with my situation; however, I do a lot of research and updates on both conditions. I have other brothers and sisters(5) and I feel like they should have their share in helping him and encouraging him to stay on his medications. Perhaps he will listen to them.

He knows that I am majoring in Psychology and I have a lot of experience dealing with medications, I have a PDR and use it even when it comes to myself, recently I was just put on two new psychiatric meds myself, I have not slept for four nights straight, even though I may sleep a little during the day, I have not written any poems in a while. However, I am going to resume working on writing one poem per week in addition to my schoolwork.

I am working on the autobiography "Drowning In Unseen Tears" which will speak of my life dealing with Breast Cancer Survival, my father's mental challenge which was the majority of his life, my mental challange which has been over half of my life, my dysfunctional family, my failed marriage and my homelessness.

Despite all of that negativity, I have a lot of positive things to write about: My success in college, academically and socially (activities) getting along with almost everyone, loving college, working on the goal of becoing a psychologist and teaching it at a small university, adopting a son, being an indepependent woman and being resilient and bouncing back with tears. I am drowning in tears this moment but you do not see them.

Father is so important to me ; I know that he is not going to get better at this point; if he takes his meds he will simply exist but his brain is slowly fading and he has somewhat a form of dementia. I have a hope in God that I can endure with my father being the way that he is. I hung up some curtains for him last Saturday; he was extremely elated; I still could not look at him.

I believe the reason is that I feel that he is to blame for my bi-polar condition or that I inherited it from him. Nevertheless, it is not his fault. We both have a chemical imbalance and for anyone reading this please don't be so quick to be judgemental because there are a lot of undiagnosed persons who have schizophrenia and other forms of mental illness (challenge ) that are not even aware of it.

I tell you one thing playing lottery tickets, using street drugs and drinking alcohol will not suffice if you are suppose to be taking psychiatric medications. They are safe. Trust in God and Trust in the doctor. It will be known if it is not right.

Until next time, the daughter shall return with her story. Thank all of you for reading. It is a priivilege for me to be writing on this site sharing with you.

Patoence, Patience, Patience, ladies and gentlemen, young teenagers.

Posted by at 05:06 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

February 19, 2004

Many Faces of Schizophrenia

First of all, Schizophrenia is a severe mentsl disorder characterized by a breakdown in perceptual and thought processes, often including hallucinations and delusions. Schizophrenia is not a rare mental disorder. In the United States alone, there are as many people with this disorder as the combined populations of Wyoming, Vermont, Delaware and Hawaii. It is equally common in men and women, although, for some reason, it tends to hit men earlier (between the ages of (18 and 25) and women later (26 to 45).

While the treatment for schizophrenia has improved dramatically over the past thirty years, it is often a tough battle to win. Mental health professionals often talk about the "one third" prognosis for schizophrenia:one third makes a full recovery and lead a normal life; one third make a partial recovery; and one third of the time , the person with schizophrenia is faced with a slow, downhill spiral of the disease throughout the rest of his or her life.

The many faces of Schizophrenia are: Disorganized, Catatonic, Paranoid, Undifferentiated and Residual. I will define those categories on my next visit and describe what they mean. Also, next time, I will talk about delusions and hallucinations and Childhood Schizophrenia. Young people have to get this information as well. See you later this same day, the nineteenth of February. I am a very busy college student majoring in Psychology, I have a lot of reading to do and I will be back because all of you are important to me.

Posted by at 07:49 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack

Take Medications

Medication is so very vital when dealing with schizophrenia. From the experiences of my father, I can see the effect that it has on his personality. Schizophrenia is a brain disease. There is a chemical imbalance and there is no need for one to be ashamed. Sure, most certainly, the medication has side effects, however you must let your doctor know what they are. You need the medication, even if you have to change it. The key element is to take your medication seriously. Even if you should have to change the medication, let is be so. The symptoms of schizophrenia will return if you do not take the needed medication. Does a diabetic need insulin? Well, you need medication. You will begin to hear voices, become parnoid of others around you, it can be very crippling. When you or a loved one is diagnosed with schizophrenia, you must believe that you have it because a psychiatrist is a doctor. Sure, they make mistakes, however, make sure that you visit your psychiatrist for the medication, attend therapy sessions as well, keep healthy and active, keep up with the latest updates concerning this cripling disease. Always remember, if you feel like you are suicidal, go to the nearest hospital or local crisis center. You can and will cope. Until next time, take care of you and and strive to take one day at a time. (a daughter)

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