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Hello everyone. It is good to once again share some information with you about the subject of schizophrenia. I have been away due to my computer having been down for a little over a month. Unfortunately, I had to start all over again with some of the programs. In addition to that, I had to start a day program on an outpatient basis to regain structure to my life again. (will be very short term) And, even though I am on leave at the university, I am trying to complete 5 papers. I AM VERY BUSY WITH LIMITED FINANCIAL RESOURCES AND I AM NOT ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. However, guess what sustains me? My relationship with God, my poetic accomplishments, my encouragement from websites to deal with my mental challenge and keeping in touch with all of you on a regular basis. I am going to try to stay in touch at least once a month. As I always mention, it is a privilege to keep a journal on this site, which I dare not lose.
My father is not acting like himself and has not been for a while now. He has some physical limitations in which he needs rest; however the paranoia has him overly suspicious of persons, and he is exhibiting unusual strange behavior in public which is noticed by others. He carries a briefcase around talking about going back to work at the age of seventy, he wears his school id badge which identifies him as a senior citizen having taken the classes at the community college level. He feels that persons are "discussing him", he calls me just to touch basis as he puts it and the calls are at any time of day or night that he deems necessary. In other words, his behavior is not usual. I am his daughter and I saw this afar off and I could not stop it. He does what he wants to do. I tried to have him committed. The treatment team tried everything that they could do. They could "not do". Here we have a seventy year old man walking about all day long, doing chores for his neighbors, trying to get a job, asking persons for money, sly as a fox, among other things and there is no end. Sometimes I don't hear from him for days, then he calls very often.
Another tactic that he uses to gain attention is that of picking his varicose veins until they bleed, going to the hospital only to having being sent home. He called a sister of mine early in the morning to take him to the hospital, only to have them release him. Medical personnel can tell when you have picked with those veins, causing bleeding. All I can tell you now is that those of you who are plagued with schizophrenia, in whatever type, continue taking your medications, please. This is why my father is acting this way now. It has been two years. According to him, he does not need them. Don't kid yourself. You don't like the side effects? Discuss situations with your doctor. Guess what? I don't like one of my meds because of the side effects of vivid dreams, oh those dreams. Yet, my doctor will not remove Tegretol from my list of meds because it has helped tremendously in mood stabilization. I don't like my dreams, but the greater dislike is hospitalization. Mania is where my dad can land me for he has done that already prior to February. I refuse to let it happen. I believe in taking my meds, please take yours. And for those of you taking care of someone with this malady, please endure and encourage them to do what is right. Until next time, daughterfirstborn(47) getting older and wiser.....taking care of me first.....s.dianna