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Hello once again. I have just completed my month long hospitalization program on an outpatient basis. As stated in my last journal entry, part of the reason was because of my father NOT TAKING HIS MEDS OVER AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. I cannot stress this enough, MEDS MUST BE TAKEN. You do not have MD after your name do you? When you go to a university to gain a degree in psychiatry, then you can make the decision of whether or not you need medication. Until then, all consumers(patients), please take your meds. If there is a problem with the dosage or side effects, then the doctor can adjust accordingly. Please read the next paragraph very carefully.
While in the program, there were some consumers(patients)who were on Abilify or other meds for schizophrenia. I noticed that they were having delusions. One made up stories that did not ring true. Another said that Jesus Christ told her to do something. Friends, this can be dangerous, for persons may act upon what they are told to do. The consumers agreed that they were not fully compliant with their medications. Sometimes an adjustment was needed. That is the beauty of an intense outpatient program. The doctor was right there daily to see how each one was doing with the current dosage, and if a change was needed, it was given. I am glad that I gave the program a try for my bipolar condition, for I was given another medication which has helped me greatly with my mood stabilization. Of course, I did not want it at first. However, if I am giving advice to someone about the importance of taking medications (even trying them), then I must do the same for my condition.
At the present, I am working on three papers for an English class from last semester. Despite the 7,000 loss which I shared with you last posting on April 10th, I am surviving. You see, it all depends on attitude. We must have a positive one. I lost that money because of certain triggers, which I have self-identified. Those triggers I must not allow to get in my way and my father is one of them. I cannot allow him to throw my emotiona out of sync. I love my father. You can love someone and yet not allow them to upset your applecart. My father is now allowing a young woman to take advantage of him, he is running back and forth to the store for other seniors and charging them, he is acting like a jitterbug, carrying around a briefcase full of papers, and even started smoking. If he had been taking his meds, he would not be acting in these and other ways. Pure mania, pure mania one hundred percent, and then at night he crashes.
I will need to have those papers completed and one of them includes Shakespeare, by next week. Also, I will be doing poetry workshops for the disabled and create-a-poems for kids. Children and teenagers with bipolar duisorder will learn to exercise their creativeness, for it is there. So as you can see, for the next few weeks, I will be busy. One final thought, May 2005 (this month) was supposed to have been graduation month for me. However, due to setbacks in my life, I will gain my Bachelor's Degree in May 2006. Grad School follows for my MFA in Creative Writing. I will be finishing my first memoir in Germany before I graduate. As you can see, I have many goals. I am here to tell you that regardless of your diagnosis, you can do ANYTHING you want to if you set your mind to it. JUST TAKE YOUR MEDS, BECAUSE YOU CANNOT FUNCTION WITHOUT THEM......until next time, daughter firstborn saying so long.