September 03, 2004

That thought..."I am insane"

I stayed up until 3 pm yesterday from about 2 or 4 Wednesday. I stayed up to take delivery of both our medications and my Staples order. When I woke at this morning at 12:30 AM I immediately printed the hard copy back up of this blog and my other blogs. My other blogs are about my computers, my Friday night gaming night and my studies. Sometimes when I make entries in this blog I also copy it on my studies blog. And sometimes my studies and computer blog get the same entries. My Cyberpunk gaming blog gets very few entries. I have stopped buying books for that game and we don't actually play the game all the time. I do continue to play Advanced Dungeons and Dragons almost every week.

I was chatting today on the computer in a chat room. I have studied a little of the modern studies on chat rooms. Today in with other stuff someone was finding her life unmanagable because she couldn't set priorities. Today also for me I was thinking that all these longs days might be a mistake. The next few days are not exactly planned too well for sleep. It was like the thinking we do when we first think we are insane. Like the first step in AA that our lives are unmanageable. That thought that our lives are totally upset that our minds might not be right. That we have made a big mistake and there is no help for us. But I have learned there is always help and that this type of thinking is anxious thinking. As one professor said in a first year course don't worry so much it is not the end of the world. We need to pause and think, reflect and relax. I did that this morning re-reading the hard copy of my blogs for August. This time I did not allow my thoughts to get off on tangents with what I wrote before so much. For instance when reading about my new volunteer work in victims services I did not review the training in my mind nor did I pick up my tainining manual. In fact, I was Buddist like and let my mind go blank and just kept reading, breathing all the time.

I did some intense studies on Thursday morning and Wednesday morning and recorded my notes on-line in my public studies blog. I got a fair amount of school work done this week and classes don't even start until the end of next week.

Posted by petert at September 3, 2004 05:59 AM


Post a comment

Please enter this code to enable your comment -
Remember Me?