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If there is a psychosis in my future or a more serious level of insanity as my doctors warn me of, I would I think see my present successes stop or at least lessen and my plans start to fall apart. I know some of my activism is falling apart. My school work though is not falling apart. I will admit that perhaps my school work will fall apart this year.
In some ways, I am under more pressure this year than any other years. I have the heaviest course load I have had in 27 years. I also have a very heavy work load in my teaching duties. I think you could follow my progress here a little. You could see my world fall apart.
I have two months of classes to go this term. I have three papers to do in one course and an exam in that course. I have four more assignments and four more lab sessions and then an exam in my math course. And I have to write a draft paper on computer crime by the beginning of the January term.
I have completed 10% of my drug law course and started another 55%. I have started to complete everything but the exam. I have completed 12% of my math course. I have another 4% to do tomorrow and another 8% to complete by next Thursday.
Today I missed my class so I could stay up a little later last night and get a good sleep. I know my mother would say I made the right decision in that I got more sleep. I think I noticed it in my teaching assistant work today as I was able to give a slightly better lab.
I also felt and still feel more relaxed because I took some pressure and expectation off my plate. I have to be careful not to let these duties slide too much. But then perhaps I have taken on too much. I also missed volunteer training yet again tonight. When this happens I focus on the next event in my schedule and getting that done. So tomorrow I need to attend that lab. I use the stronger verb need to describe completing that goal. After all I came back to the world using a goal oriented training recovery within a mileu therapy ward. So getting things done is naturally something that comes up again and again. I could not expect to attend absolutely every class in my math course. It just would not me like me to attend them all especially given that they are early morning classes.Posted by petert at September 30, 2004 10:28 PM