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Certainly attending self help groups taught me to make a difference by helping. After working all day on our supper my wife decided to give it away to our neighbour. Our neighbour didn't want the whole dish but had a bowl. She mentioned her new depression and I recommended she take vitmain C and read as much as she can about psychiatry. I loaned her a book I haven't yet read called The Brain Chemistry Diet. I also gave her a local resource guide. She also told me about her strange worrying behaviour with her teenage son. I told her that was neurosis. It is good to help the neighbours and know who your neighbours are.
My wife was out with her sister today doing pottery. She is on the phone right now with her mother.
B read the entry about him and said it was slanderous and joked that he would sue me and my dog Toto. He is relaxing today but has a head cold. I pointed him to my other blogs and he doesn't yet know what blogs are. Speaking of which I am reading Robert Kitchin's Cyberspace and Michael Geist's Internet Law in Canada and wondering how I can get the guys/fellow consumers who I helped get on-line to read this information. I may need to photocopy a few pages for them.
I just took my first dose of vitmans for the day. I then helped my wife take her blood readings. She read 6.3 so is fine. She only needs to take two readings a week right now.
I only take risperadol in the way of psycho active drugs. I don't get depressed and with the serotonine affects in the risperadol depression is unlikley. I am now exhusted after being awake 19 hours. This means I will have no trouble falling asleep in a few minutes from now. I will now take my 6 mg risperadol and last dose of vitamins and sleep soundly. I will wake after 6-9 hours sleep tomorrow maybe as late as noon. But tomorrow is a day off too and then Monday I have only one thing to do and that is attend a night class so if I am up late Sunday night I will still be ok for Monday sleeping in late that day too. Likewise by Tuesday I maybe going to sleep at the middle afternoon from Monday so I can be awake early Wednesday. Yes, I plan all this sleeping to fit the schizophrenia symptom of staying up late. Notice I said evening course. I do not take morning courses. I usually end my days these days typing away on the computer until I am tired. It is very productive. But typing gets a little sloppy near the end of the day. But it is my day not the normal nine to five day of the rest of the world.
B has a schizoid personality. He got this label from a court when being separated from his child who he was suspected of abusing. I have known him for years. He is a horrible violent drunk at times. He is also a very good guitar player. He told me tonight that he got a job starting on Monday. He hasn't worked for at least ten years. At least he hasn't worked for money except playing music. He has been sober for six months now. I met him in the local punk scene in the late 1970's when I was into my first untreated psychosis. I didn't know him well then. I did get to know him on my road to recovery in the early nineties. I had to avoid him to get back into school and stay sober.
Punk music had a lot of songs about being insane in a humorous send up kind of way. Songs like Psycho Killer and Teenage Lobotomy, came out of the New York punk scene. Loosing one's mind is a popular rock theme or was back then.
I am chatting with R late Saturday night early Sunday morning. He wanted to chat about his moving to a new place. He didn't get along with a neighbour in his present location. He is moving to a new apartment near to where I lived in 1987-92. It is about six blocks from here.
There is a public library branch there so I sent him the public library URL. I really learned a lot about psychiatry at that library. I read Torrey there and also books on addictons, depression, phobias, and books on managing schizophrenia.
I am just typing this while he gets a coffee. I managed to teach him about basic html tags just now. We said good night just now. I'll say good night here too.
I ate a fruit salad this lunch and will now take a gram of C and a gram of niacin. It is a nice day off so far.
Well it is a day off here. E just called to talk on the phone. I got the income statement done. I just need to mail it now. The mail box has mail pick up on Saturday's. We live in the civilized Western world after all.
I might try to do my taxes on-line today. I have all the T4a's from jobs now. Oh ya I have to wait for an investment form still so no taxes today. Oh well it is a day off, I'll read and surf the net.
Everyone knows or should know how difficult it is to deal with the government. We get income support from the government. I have to do an income report today to let the government know what other money we have received this month. I need to bring out the calculator and get to this. I completed reading a research paper on Legal Knowledge Based decision making systems. Apparently social services is an area AI workers can experiment on with out bad consequences. Ya right!
My work place called and asked me if I wanted to work today but I told them I am taking the day off. I was really frazzeled yesterday and slept 14 hours last night. That is very rare for me but I had a 30 hour and 24 day this past week, so I was catching up on sleep.
After 7 hours sleep Wednesday and then awake for 24 hours now. I'll be going to sleep in the early afternoon. I made today a day off after all that essay writing and security work. Although I have done some paid work in my home like web mastering and also marking papers for the MATH courses I TA.
I am geting slightly forgetful with my pills as I get more busy all day and night. My Psychiatrist told me to mark them on a calendar which I started to do this past Monday. If I accidently double dose my 6 mg risperadol I get unreasonably stiff legs.
This medication is not symptom free but helps me a lot with negative symtoms like apathy and tiredness.
R doesn't know a lot about computers but like W he is an gamer. He wanted a 17" monitor so I am getting one on-line and buying it for him and he will pay me back half tomorrow and half next month. This should get his Linux system a better display and give him a better system for his Win98 box. His monitor is 8 years old now. He works in his music teachers shop. He has schizo-affective disorder. He sounds fairly depressed usually and can take offence quite easily. He has a high school diploma and works in a variety of jobs but has had this music store job for a few months now. He lives in a dry house community.
I think about Kantian ethics when I help him with computers.
W has anxiety not schizophrenia. He like me though is a night owl. That is a symptom I am learning to live with. Our DVD player wasn't working too well. I told W that it needed fixing. He wanted to buy it anyways. It is near check day he cashed his check at a check cashing service so has his money early. I advised him against doing this when I sold the dvd player too him. He called me early in the morning. Oh well he lives near my employers so I brought him the DVD player while I picked up my paycheck for that job. He doesn't seem anxious to look at him but I notice he withdrawls from life and contact sometimes.
I do writing to feel good. I get lost and worried and anxious, everyday. By reading my daily journal (that I write in pen and paper) in the morning I get my life back together each day.
I got this preimum printer paper for my school paper. I have quite a few sheets left over so I am hard copy printing the 2003, 3rd and 4th quarter's worth of entries from my computer log book blog and storing them in my filing cabinet.
I worked for 30 hours on a mid-term paper for my ecommerce legal issues course. I completed it tonight. It is due in class tomorrow. I will post it to my computer ethics web site (www.webpagex.org) after it is marked and corrected. I got help with proofreading from a learning specialist in the students with disabilities centre on campus. Yahoo it is done, and I thought I wouldn't be able to do it.
I got some money for a little questionnaire I did for some consumer survivor groups concerning their computer resources. The final pay cheque for contract came in yesterday. Now I have to have their accountant fax my government support workers to let them know the job has ended. This type of income reporting makes it possible to work and also get government support. I also had to photocopy the cheque and will mail in the photocopy to the government people with my usual income report which I do once a month.
I so need a printer for studying. I once posted to a schizophrenia email list server that when someone buys someone a computer as a help they must make sure to buy them a printer. I helped a few freinds, R, W, and C buy computers I also helped them get printers.
I am printing some legislation out for research for my essay this morning.
I bought some premium paper at the 7-11 last night.
I attended a library lab last night for my legal research course. It was fun. I am scoring A in this legal research course so far. My topic in this course is personal health information in electronic form. There are specal safeguards a doctor or hospital must take for electronic health records.
I am working hard writing about laws concerning secure electronic signatures. This is for a school essay due this Wednesday.
My wife's blood sugar was too low this is the first time she has had it that way reading the gulcometer. She ate a sweet and felt faint. Dinner should be ready in about 20 minutes. I am also low blood sugar I know because I haven't eaten since 14:00 today. It is now 20:40. I just ate an apple and a sweet and took 1 g of C and 1 g of niacin.
I am off work and E in his harressing way is in my house. He probably came over uninvited. Certainly I didn't invite him. I don't want to get angry with him. But he doesn't understand that I don't want to see people when I get off a 12 hour shift. My wife is making broccoli and rice. I will sleep in an hour or so.
I am just about to take 1 g of c and 1 g of niacin with a bowl of cerial. I also need to shave a little before going off to work. I need to check the weather too. I have to walk a bit after getting off the bus because it is Sunday and local buses don't start early enough so I need to take main route buses only.
I stayed up on Friday until 2 PM Saturday and then slept the rest of Saturday. I am now up at 00:30 Sunday morning ready for a 12 hour shift at my security guard job. I have to leave on a 6 am bus. This means I will be early even if I miss a bus. I will though get to the bus stop about 5 to 10 minutes early. I build in lot of time to my schedule as I only work part-time and rarely work two days in a row. I will be off work at 19:30. I will see my doctor tomorrow at 16:00 Monday. Then go to school for class at 19:00.
I am reading a rather interesting paper from the book, Wolmark, Jenny. Cybersexualities: A Reader on Feminist Theory, Cyborgs and Cyberspace (Edinburgh, Edinburgh University Press, 1999) at 241. The paper is Sandoval, Chela New Sciences: Cyborg Feminism and the Methodology of the Oppressed. I like relaxing before work.
My wife has diabetes newly diagnosed. She has been learning to take her own blood suger readings and so far they are ok. I am encouraging her to walk more.
We are just waiting to go for dinner at my wife's dad's place. We will take a bus there for 5. He will drive us home.
Later in the evening we will have E, J, and C over. E and J have schizophrenia but C has depression. We will watch TV or a movie and maybe play a role playing game. Otherwise we will talk about doctors and how we are feeling. J and C are a couple.
My wife will sleep early. She is going to a friends tomorrow. L her friend has depression and it is L's birthday this weekend. They will go out to a pub.
I bought some alcohol swabs this week. My dad and uncle had visited and given me a little extra cash. So I bought the usual vitamins and other basics at the local drug store which is three blocks away. I restocked my napsack first aid kit so far tonight/this morning. I am learning more about first aid in the work I do as a security guard. Mostly I have dealt with cuts and burns around the home.
These days I take 6 mg of risperadol a day at night. I requested a simple dose schedule. So I just take two 3 mg pills at night. Before this I was taking flupenxial in injections every two weeks. I had started to show a side effect of a gimpy hand in 1997 and was switched to risperadol.
I also take 3 g of vitmain C and 3 g of niacin everyday. I don't always take these vitamins. But when I can afford them and remember to take them I do.
Hello dear reader,
Welcome to my blog at www.schizophrenia.com. I first met Brian, who established www.schizophrenia.com, on usenet in the mid to early 1990's. We met on alt.support.schizophrenia not in real life. I was just starting to discontinue my attendance at real life self help groups and begin my use of on-line support. Well I am still well and even working in the real world out there. My computer skills are helping me at work and at school. I am now in a common law relationship and I even have some friends now who don't have mental illness. But generally I hope to write here about myself and my friends who do have mental illness. I will write about real life people and the many virtual friends I have met over the years. enjoy.