January 23, 2006

We all need somebody to lean on!

This is what I lean on, in no particular order, since each is important:

Medicare, a federal program for the elderly and disabled, for hospital and doctor bills and, newly, for medication payments, all without which I'd be in a back ward on Thorazine or Haldol and unable to function. More likely, since the long-term state hospitals have closed, I'd be on the streets.

A visiting nurse is paid for by Title 19, or Medicaid, a state run program, and she comes in twice a day, every day, to make sure I take my meds and to pour the night time liquid one which is so important to my well-being. They keep track of my day to day state of mind as well, take my BP once a month and give me my injections. I need them immensely and rely on their visits.

My sister pays for someone to come in once every two weeks to help me keep the apartment reasonably tidy, and we clean together though she does my laundry.

I see a private psychiatrist once a week as a gift from Lynnie to me, since the doc can't accept the miniscule payments from my two insurances Medicare and Title 19 and still make a living. Ditto for the doctor I see for CNS Lyme disease once every 3 months or so.

I have a car, yes, but can't drive further than a mile or two, so I depend on friends to drive me, and must do it on their schedules, but they accommodate me often.

And this building where I live in my own apartment is highly subsidized by the Dept of Housing and Urban Development so that my rent stays at 1/4th of my income. It had emergency buttons to summon help and is safe and kept up stupendously well.

I also lean on friends, surrogate family nearby, and real family farther away, for company and visits and conversation. I see "Aunt Lynn and Uncle Cy" at least once a week, if not a lot more often, and Joe and I both live in this building so we see one another daily. Even my father drives all the way from New Haven every two weeks to spend an hour or an hour and a half just talking, a visit I adore, after so much estrangement. Whenever my mother visits we have a great time as usual. And seeing Lynnie, the hardest to get to, because the farthest away, is happiness unalloyed!

So you see, needing help isn't so bad. As I said in my subject line, we ALL need somebody to lean on, and even in my state of recovery, I lean on many and much.

Posted by pamwagg at January 23, 2006 09:33 AM


I don't feel I need anyone to lean on. Just my own independence and the need to not disclose discomforts to anyone.

Posted by: sarah at February 5, 2006 03:30 PM

Dear Pam,

Yes, we all need someone to lean on.

It sounds like you've developed a wonderful support system. Your writing confirms to me that I need to help my daughter bring in more supportive people in her life.

Thank you for your willingness to share your writing with those of us who enjoy reading your blog and also us caregivers who need additional insight into our sons and daughters lives.

Blessings to you and your family.

Yaya (aka Moeder)

Posted by: yaya (aka moeder) at January 31, 2006 09:07 AM

Dear Pam,
I know full well the need we all have to have people in our lives upon whom we can lean. You have always been there for me, and I consider you to be, quite frankly, the friend and advisor upon whom I most frequently lean. You have lifted me to my feet on many occasions, and for this and for you, I shall be eternally grateful.
Lovingly. Paula

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at January 23, 2006 11:48 PM

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