August 23, 2007

Just a brief happy update on Joe until Labor Day

After 7 weeks in ICU and three bouts of pneumonia, Joe has a bed and is finally being transferred to rehab at the Hospital for Special Care! As long as he doesn't spike a fever, this will happen on Monday or Tuesday of next week and we are all thrilled. I did not see him today as I am suffering from a miserable cold and could not run the risk of infecting him -- the very last thing he needs is the additional secretions brought on by a cold. That I imagine could kill him as quickly as pneumonia, or certainly bring on tribulations beyond belief. So I heard all about it third hand, but I know that Joe probably beamed and was very happy to hear the news. I certainly am, even though it will mean a more stressful drive and a longer one just to see him every other day. That part I am decidely not looking forward to. But I will figure out how to do it, I imagine, and grit my teeth and somehow get through it.

Meanwhile, Lynn is not doing anywhere near as well, has said she wants to die, even, and while I have suggested anti-depressants, careful to say they treat pain (which they do) she has not found a way to try them and assures me she is not depressed. "I just want to die because of the pain and because I can't do anything the way I used to. Old age is simply not what I was expecting," she says to justify it. (She is not suicidal, just wishes she would die soon.) But I think the pain can be treated by a doctor willing to do more than routine pain care and I think without chronic pain she could do more of what she used to enjoy. Surely she would enjoy what little she can do more than she does now, that's for certain. But I also think she IS depressed, is down in the dumps because of all this, and that ADs could treat both her pain and her depression at one time and without her knowing it. Who is to say which comes first, the pain or the depression after all? The depression certainly exacerbates pain, and pain just as assuredly exacerbates depression, so chicken or egg, they interact in any event.

But her husband holds the reins, and he keeps tight control of what doctors she sees and what medications she takes and even what she tells me about her care. I love Cy, but sometimes I really despise him. He is 87 years old and not as sharp as he used to be, but he is still controlling everything in that household with an iron hand. I do not like it one bit, never have, frankly. But it is not my place to complain or say anything, and I can simply leave if he complains too loudly about Lynn's spending or I don't like the way he controls her. So I do. Why say anything when they have a 60 year old marriage, proving it works for them!

Well, enough for now. My throat hurts and my body hurts and my nose is dripping. In the midst of cold misery, and knowing I simply have to tough it out, I expect to pass the night in a similar state, which I dread in particular. But my mood is good and my mental state not too bad, except for being overrun by the little people and subject to chronic paranoia that I need others to point out. In general, I'd say, I'm pretty much status quo. And with that, I have to sign out. I will be back after Labor Day. Peace to all and hoping you are all enjoying the summer! Pam

Posted by pamwagg at August 23, 2007 08:17 PM | TrackBack


I know that I already commented on this blog days ago,but it hasn't appeared. Why not?
Love you, Paula

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at August 27, 2007 02:43 PM

Hi Pam, very glad to have the positive update on Joe but sorry to hear you have a miserable cold. I'm really looking forward to you coming back to your blog. While I was away visiting my parents in Florida I picked up an audiobook by the Dalai Lama called Advice On Dying. I am going to start listening to it today. I thought of you and Joe when I bought it and would like to send you a copy. Maybe it could help Joe and Lynn, really all of us. I will send you an email soon. I've been thinking about you and missing you. My love to you and yours.

Posted by: Kate K. at August 26, 2007 02:22 PM

Dearest Pam,

If only the "normal" people of the world could read your blog, I think their view(If it is negative-this is certainly not true of everyone) would change quite radically. Imagine a schizophrenic of long standing taking charge and putting all her efforts and expertise to use in helping friends to hold on tightly to life. She is doing all this during a time of physical and mental problems of her own which she has unselfishly put on the back burner in order give fully of herself to her fellow man. Yet another standing ovation from someone whom you have helped over and over again. Je t'aime,ma petite chou, T3

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at August 25, 2007 10:55 AM

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