January 26, 2004


Relationships are highly complex. Humans have not evolved biologically over the past thousands of years, but they have evolved socially, developing highly complex, varied, intricate social customs and relationships that are very difficult for a majority of the people to comprehend, to inculcate in their lives and to manage efficiently, to make sure that they are able to live in harmony with their loved ones, to love everyone...

Most of the people have trouble dealing with relationships and understanding them properly. This gets even tougher for schizophrenics. It's not because they don't know what is required to make the relationship work, a mutual understanding, they have the sense of realization of that, to an extent that surpasses 'normal' people. (Again I use the term normal to indicate those who refer to us as plagued by madness, which if they start defining, I'm sure they will fail). Our problem starts with the things we see, hear, and the things we believe. It starts making us delineate from the so called 'truth'.

Our belief in people trying to harm us make us wary of people in the first place. Even when we get over this fear, the little habits that we have developed over the years, certain practices that we have inculcated in our lives makes it a problem towards dealing in relationships effectively. For example, I believed that I shouldn't reply back to people who talk bad about the ones I loved as they would find out that I'm the chosen One, that I'm the one who is going to try and bring them down, they will know...that fear had gripped me to the extent that I had stopped replying back, to anything, and everything, social withdrawal that we go through making it all the worse. Even now that I know what to believe, I have made the mistake of doing the same, to the effect that my friend started questioning my love for her. How could I love her if I don't stand up for what I believe is right, to know that she is not what they say she is, that she is nice, she is good, she is a wonderful person...There was confusion, utter confusion. I begin to realize that I still fear it, in my subconscious mind, I still acknowledge that fact, that truth that I believed, and I still cannot stand the confrontational style people speak in...these small symptoms that seem to be insignificant, make our life all the more difficult, make our relationships all the more volatile...Yet we realize it, slowly, we understand ourselves, and slowly we find a way, a way out of the madness, a way out of the chaos, a way out of the confusion, of what could have been and what could be, we rise, stronger, facing the problems that make us alert, in the mind, give us a lesson that makes us stronger, wiser than the rest, slowly, we change...Everything that has a beginning has an end...the belief makes us strong!

From the unreal lead me to the real!
From darkness lead me to light!
From death lead me to immortality!
- Brihad-aranyaka Upanishad

Posted by puzli at January 26, 2004 07:15 AM


I have been reading your blog and I have to say what a good outlook you have on life and people. I have a daughter with scz and eight years down the track still no insight. I wish you peace and happiness.

Posted by: Visha at March 28, 2004 11:00 AM

I am currently dating a guy who told me that he is taking Zyprexa. We are still fresh in the "getting to know you" stage and I think I could fall for him. I know he will tell me and I will be supportive.
My Dad is a Pharmacist and I asked him why someone would take Zyprexa and he said Schizophrenia. Should I be worried??

Posted by: Michele at March 2, 2006 01:34 AM

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