April 05, 2005

Openness and delusion

I just realized how much I've changed for the better over the past years. I've changed in many respects but I just realized one of the ways. I have been open about my illness throughout. I wanted people to know about it, and not sneer at me. Whenever I thought of telling people, I always had the feeling that no matter what their response, I am the One and I know who I Am, so even if they sneer at me, I shouldn't get depressed. Now I know that it was just a grandiose delusion. However, I have come to the point where I still don't mind telling people, but now I accept that some people might not respond the way I want them to, but this is life, and everyone has their own opinions, I might not be able to change them, but I've to live respecting everyone, just to give them a 'second chance'. I (think I)no longer get depressed telling people about it, or watching them make fun of me (though it rarely happens when I tell people). Most of the people are receptive and react compassionately. Another thing that my friend pointed out to me is that maybe we only tell people who we judge will respect our feelings.

Posted by puzli at April 5, 2005 02:48 AM