May 25, 2005

Repititive OCD

I noticed another one of my symptoms today. It happens with me pretty frequently. I was giving my exam and I read one question. Then I read it again. Then again, and again and again…OCD at play again. Reminds me of the portrayal of Howard Hughes in the movie. It had scared the crap out of me, as it reminded me of my earlier days.

Posted by puzli at May 25, 2005 10:09 AM


Hi Puzli,

One can have OCD in many conditions and the sad thing with OCD is tht it is persistent, and especially so at stressfull times. But I don't think it can harm you much. So don't quite worry man, just concentrate on your papers and Iam sure everything will be perfectly alright.

Best Wishes

Posted by: Vish at May 25, 2005 01:10 PM

Dear Pulzi,
When faced with this dilemma, what did you do? You were well aware that it was your OCD at work. Did you simply leave the question unanswered, or were you eventually able to answer the question? I am very interested in the strategies that you have developed to free yourself when OCD's quicksand has you in its grip.
With great interest,Paula

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at May 25, 2005 03:11 PM

hey Paula:)
well, I didn't realize immediately that it was my OCD at work. I kept on reading it, and tried to think about something else, but that was not enough to distract me, so finally I did what I successfully mastered when the OCD (or maybe voices) first began 11 years ago (I was 11 then)...I started singing a song in my mind. When my OCD had begun, I always had a song repeating in my mind, and I could only get rid of it by starting to sing another song in my mind, or listening to some different song. Since I couldn't play any songs in the exam hall, I started singing the one I had heard most recently, and gradually I consciously started changing my breathing pattern (which had become erratic by then) to a more steady rythm. Finally, I started mixing a couple of songs together in my mind so that the song I had initially started singing didn't repeat in another loop of OCD. I then took my gaze off the paper, looked around for some time, and slowly stopped singing those songs when I felt better. About the question, I didn't know the answer to that, so I left it :) But I'll pass in that paper.

Posted by: puzli at May 27, 2005 11:55 AM

hey Paula,
another thing I just remembered is that whenever I was paranoid earlier and started singing those songs to counter the OCD, the songs took on a hidden meaning and that is what remained in my head. the repititive behaviour vanished.

Posted by: puzli at May 27, 2005 12:30 PM

You haven't written in a while. I hope you are not having repeated episodes of OCD which requires an exhausting ritual for you to banish. How about trying a simple mantra(like the old, reliable "aahm") while breathing deeply and looking about you to break the spell. It's worth a try.
Your friend(If I may be so bold), Paula

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at June 3, 2005 04:46 AM

some things in life need a lot of facing to the challenges that life has served you and living up to it. other thing is admitting your mistakes and tell to people who are strangers to you so that they dont face the problems you did or make the same mistakes.

you were courageous enough to do all the avobe and that to all alone. and i feel that is awesome and makes you really special person. i have the fortune to know you personally and i know you have turned out just fine from all that you have passed and are a strong person.

be like that and do what you are doing. you will be just fine

your friend

Posted by: sandeepa at June 5, 2005 02:10 PM

hey paula,
You are my friend :) I was busy with my exams and then my computer got a bug, so I'm back online now and am doing well. take care. love. your friend. puzli

hey sandeepa,
thanks for the lovely comment. your friend. puzli

Posted by: puzli at June 6, 2005 09:46 AM

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