June 06, 2005

Exams over...phew :D

My exams are over and they went well :D I'm hoping to clear all my exams this semester.

Another thing that I realized during this period is about how I told my friend that I didn't like Linkin Park as their lyrics were too sadistic. And he told me that "even bands you listen to - Metallica and Disturbed and Godsmack's lyrics are sadistic", and it confused me..."what was it that made me think these songs were so cool, not sadistic?"..."I realize now that these songs had a hidden meaning in them for me, and became inspiring. “…and how can I forget hope, yes, hope”…”crackle dawn/all is gone except the will to be…” (for whom the bell tolls). They told me about life around me, the people around me, how they would act and react, my own personal conditioning that this illness gave me...deception and deceit, mental torture, silent screams, a harrowing numbness with all the voices, it was all too real to be counted as unreal, all within me, no one could look inside me, even though I could read their minds, successfully interpret their actions, directed towards the one and only mission - "to destroy", "when in doubt, kill". Those words from "Rambo" were my guiding light, something that gave me strength, even more so, invoked a heightened sense of fear of what they could do, getting me down to this nothingness, "feeling nothing"...”take a look to the sky just before you die/it’s the last time you will...”

Posted by puzli at June 6, 2005 10:13 AM


Hi Puzli,

Great to hear that your exams did go well. Well yes failing can be really demoralising, but really trust me these exams are hardly a real test of your abilities. These exams require you to mug up lot of facts wihtout really applying your mind, and I have seen really intelligent people struggling to perform upto their abilities (but they are all now in US very well settled :-) ). I really hope that you get rid of those 'DEMONS' ( K.T's :-) ) but even if you don't, don't quite worry, in your life Iam sure you are going to be a winner.

Warm Regards

Posted by: Vish at June 6, 2005 12:07 PM

thanks vish :) I agree with you that exams aren't the real test of one's abilities...

Posted by: puzli at June 6, 2005 01:44 PM


though exams are not real test of your abilities but if it hurts when you dont pass then it must mean something. true they are no proof that you are smart enough or brill but doesnt it give you a great feeling that you passed and i want you to pass with flying colours and the way you worked this sem i think you will.

keep up the good work and score even if just to help your parents feel good. but thats just my thinking.

take care

your friend

Posted by: sandeepa at June 7, 2005 03:58 PM

Dear Pulzi,
I find nothing unusual in your finding hidden meaning in the lyrics of your favorite artists. They sing for everyone, and they certainly do not expect each listener to come away with the same perceptions or interpretations of their lyrics. You are so incredibly intelligent that you probably raise their lyrics to a new plane. They would probably like to meet you and discuss your views on the words they wrote in hopes of touching the intellect of people like you. I think your blog was very positive.
Your new friend, Paula

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at June 8, 2005 04:08 AM

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