June 24, 2006
shit
Its the same old shit. He would start scolding me. It would become a fight. Of all the shit he said, he wouldn't even later acknowledge. Mom who listened to it all never supported. sister always had enuff problems to flee away. I was left with more shit to deal with.
goddamn it. leave me alone. my own people tried to destroy me and then again try to get me closer to them emotionally and the whole cycle would repeat.
I can survive alone. i dont need anyone. and if u want to continue this way. so be it. kill or be killed. so be it.
Posted by puzli at June 24, 2006 04:54 PM
Comments
"When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all.
I'm on your side;when times get rough
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down; like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down." Paul Simon
Posted by: Empathy at June 25, 2006 10:47 PM
thanks empathy...thanks a lot :)
love, puzli
Posted by: puzli at June 28, 2006 11:12 AM
SAME OLD SAME OLD SHIT...
"THE WINDS CREPT INTO MY EARS AND SAID 'ALONE!! ALONE!! ALONE!!' AND I FELL ON MY KNEES. GRACEFUL,CHARMING ALL I HAVE BEEN BUT ALONE ALONE ALONE..."
THE GRAVITY OF SITUATION IS ONLY KNOW BY YOU SO NONE CAN PLACE ANY ACCURATE THOUGHT ON IT, JUST AS NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY GO THROUGH. LONLINESS IS NOT FATE-IMPARTED. IT IS ALSO SOMETIMES SELF CREATED. YOU NEVER LACKED STRENGHT, THAT IS QUITE APPERENT. YET CANT YOU SEE THAT THIS TIME THE SAME STENGHT TO SURVIVE IS BRINGING YOU TO SECULTION. THERE ARE PROBLEMS I AGREE. MORE SO IN YOUR CASE. BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM ANY OTHER. YOU ARE HERE TO SURVUVE BUT GUESS WHAT EVEN SUPERMAN NEEDED SOMEONE. YOU ARENT EXTRAORSINAIRE AND NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO BE.
JUST GIVE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY A CHANCE. THEY WONT UNDERSTAND IT AND PROBABLY WOULD COMPLICATE THINGS. BUT WASNT YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL ENLIGHTMENT. NOW THAT YOU ARE IN A STATE TO DO SOMETHING YOU SEEMS TO PULL OUT. I KNOW IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO FIGHT FOR OR YOU MAY HAVE LOST THE WILL ITSELF. JUST HANG ON. PEOPLE PERFORM THE BEST WHEN OTHER SHOW FAITH IN THEM.
TEH FINAL DECISION IS STILL LEFT ON YOU. GIVE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY A CHANCE TO UNDERSTAND YOU AND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THOUGH OR GIVE IT UP AND LIVE IN ISOLATION. BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE A DECISION TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE AND BELIEVE ME IT CAN BE PRETYY DIFFICULT TO DO THAT ALONE.
SO BELIEVING THAT YOU WOULD MAKE A RIGHT DECISION AND WOULD GIVE CHANCE TO THOSE WHO YOU THINK DONT DESERVE THEM. EVEN FRIENDS WHO DONT CALL YOU :) EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEONE TO HOLD THEM TOGATHER ONCE IN A WHILE AND YOU NEED TO START LETTING YOURSELF BELIEVE THAT.
WITH MUCH APPREICIATION
SANDEEPA
Posted by: Sandeepa at June 28, 2006 11:47 AM
i agree with u sandeepa. with much appreciation here too. love always. puzli
Posted by: puzli at June 28, 2006 12:45 PM
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"When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all.
I'm on your side;when times get rough
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down; like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down." Paul Simon
Posted by: Empathy at June 25, 2006 10:47 PM
thanks empathy...thanks a lot :)
love, puzli
Posted by: puzli at June 28, 2006 11:12 AM
SAME OLD SAME OLD SHIT...
"THE WINDS CREPT INTO MY EARS AND SAID 'ALONE!! ALONE!! ALONE!!' AND I FELL ON MY KNEES. GRACEFUL,CHARMING ALL I HAVE BEEN BUT ALONE ALONE ALONE..."
THE GRAVITY OF SITUATION IS ONLY KNOW BY YOU SO NONE CAN PLACE ANY ACCURATE THOUGHT ON IT, JUST AS NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY GO THROUGH. LONLINESS IS NOT FATE-IMPARTED. IT IS ALSO SOMETIMES SELF CREATED. YOU NEVER LACKED STRENGHT, THAT IS QUITE APPERENT. YET CANT YOU SEE THAT THIS TIME THE SAME STENGHT TO SURVIVE IS BRINGING YOU TO SECULTION. THERE ARE PROBLEMS I AGREE. MORE SO IN YOUR CASE. BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM ANY OTHER. YOU ARE HERE TO SURVUVE BUT GUESS WHAT EVEN SUPERMAN NEEDED SOMEONE. YOU ARENT EXTRAORSINAIRE AND NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO BE.
JUST GIVE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY A CHANCE. THEY WONT UNDERSTAND IT AND PROBABLY WOULD COMPLICATE THINGS. BUT WASNT YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL ENLIGHTMENT. NOW THAT YOU ARE IN A STATE TO DO SOMETHING YOU SEEMS TO PULL OUT. I KNOW IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO FIGHT FOR OR YOU MAY HAVE LOST THE WILL ITSELF. JUST HANG ON. PEOPLE PERFORM THE BEST WHEN OTHER SHOW FAITH IN THEM.
TEH FINAL DECISION IS STILL LEFT ON YOU. GIVE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY A CHANCE TO UNDERSTAND YOU AND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THOUGH OR GIVE IT UP AND LIVE IN ISOLATION. BUT YOU NEED TO MAKE A DECISION TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE AND BELIEVE ME IT CAN BE PRETYY DIFFICULT TO DO THAT ALONE.
SO BELIEVING THAT YOU WOULD MAKE A RIGHT DECISION AND WOULD GIVE CHANCE TO THOSE WHO YOU THINK DONT DESERVE THEM. EVEN FRIENDS WHO DONT CALL YOU :) EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEONE TO HOLD THEM TOGATHER ONCE IN A WHILE AND YOU NEED TO START LETTING YOURSELF BELIEVE THAT.
WITH MUCH APPREICIATION
SANDEEPA
Posted by: Sandeepa at June 28, 2006 11:47 AM
i agree with u sandeepa. with much appreciation here too. love always. puzli
Posted by: puzli at June 28, 2006 12:45 PM