May 26, 2004

These days

Days when mission turns to drudgery,joy to resignation when all the highs are gone and you are left with a deadening recognition that you may actually be heading nowhere.
Days when the resposibility of not just yourself and your feelings and emotions and whole being but of another human being wears you down completely.
Days when you get that sickening feeling that perhaps you are doing it all wrong and then you want you start all over again not just from today or tommorrow but rewrite the whole past 20 years .
Days when you spend hours hopelessly staring at the wall wishing you could have prevented this that many years ago.
Days when you wonder what the next birthday would medicines,an ambiguous blood report....another addition/ deletion to the medicines,another diet program...a more interesting activity.. a relapse perhaps..another symptom...I wonder sometimes what it shall bring this year.

Posted by Monica at May 26, 2004 12:37 PM | TrackBack


First its good to hear from you,I kept checking two or three times a day and was becoming alarmed. We as parents of these ill kids have to re write the script.Years ago long before they entered our lives we had it down pat at such and such an age we will be raising our kids and off to school then college and independence.Brick wall comes out of nowhere.Our lives ,hopes dreams and all else came to a stop.Yes, we don't know what even the next few hours will bring,or days let alone the year which seems like an eternity.But we as parents with these hurdles will persevere and take these challenges and together we will go on. Our children need us. Lets all pray for better days ahead. Red from ontario

Posted by: red at May 28, 2004 08:28 PM

remember lila...keep smiling:)

Posted by: puzli at May 29, 2004 10:18 AM

Hi, I have just recently discovered my son has a mental illness, he is 21 and they have diagnosed him with schizoaffective disorder. I have been reading as much info as I can about the disorder. He is in a state of denial, as I was a few months ago, but as I read more of the positive and negative symptoms of mental illness I have to realise myself that he has a mental illness. I have gone through the grieving quite quickly and trying to find as much as I can about the illness. My son has gone off his medication (he doesn't have anything wrong with him!) I'm sure you've heard that before, and I am hoping and praying that we (health professionals and myself) can help him to go back on meds before he relapses.
I could say heaps more but sometimes its a brain-drain thinking about this all the time.
How is your son now Monica?
Take care, love and best wishes alwys Katrina

Posted by: Katrina Frost at May 30, 2004 09:34 AM

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