"The journey into darkness has been long and cruel,and you have gone deep into it" from a Course in Miracles.
We are more afraid of life than we are of death.
And this is how I feel exactly.Iam paralysed by self loathing.Turned inwards it has become a personal hell of obsessions,compulsions,depression,illness,anger, frustration.
The painful thoughts are my personal demons.
Knowing the familiar patterns,being able to verbalize these, is but the first step,it doesnt help pull me out of my personal hell.
Time and again the demons return..
And then I ask for a miracle and do not hesitate to say 'God please help me'