May 01, 2005


Yesterday we had a garage sale.

I was lucky enough to come across a couple who appeared to be in their early sixties. Both were very friendly and talked to me like they had known me for years.

I watched them interact while they were looking through the garage sale items. They spoke to each other with love, friendship, respect. They were "easy" with each other...does that make sense? They wanted to be together and felt "easy" in their skin and relationship. The comraderie (sp?) between the two was so special.

Granted, I know nothing of these people, what goes on behind closed doors, what their life together has been like. But I like to think that they have most always have treated each other this way and have had a happy life together.

I almost think that they were sent to my garage sale for a purpose. For me to see that it is possible to love and be loved. To be treated with respect. To answer when someone says something. To feel so easy in one's own skin to be free to enjoy life.

He never said "Pull your head out of your ass" or "You are the stupidest bitch!" She never winced when he spoke or stood chewing her fingernails worrying that she would say something to offend him and set him off. He was not glancing around to see who was "watching" him, "following him". She never smiled that stupid "pardon us" smile when people were wondering what he was mumbling about.

They paid for their items and went on their way. I can't stop thinking about them. I can't get it out of my head.
It is so sad that it will never be that way at our house. Sad is the only way to describe it.

Posted by Jamie at May 1, 2005 02:04 PM


My husband has depression and some days he is really nasty. The other day in the library he was talking to a friend. I asked him to watch our little daughter so I could browse the books. I just wanted him to move nearer to my daughter and carry on talking to his friend. After his friend left he told me off for showing him up in public and punched me on the chin. I also look at other couples and wish I could have that kind of relaxed relationship. I never know when he's going to get miserable and have a moan for no reason. Best of luck to you.

Posted by: wpendy at May 6, 2005 12:53 PM

This is all new to me. I just thought I pissed him off all the time, like a OCD thing. He is constantly making me out to be a cheater to everyone. His family thinks he's just moody, they don't know that he's been too aggressive with me. I don't think they'd believe me anyway. The problems had worsened in about a year between us. So recently I asked for a Divorce from him, the next day he was going to take all the pills in our house. We had been in therapy for a while, then him by his self. The therapist suggested he commit himself before he did for depression. He stayed in for four days and is diaogoised(SP?) with schizophrenia. What do I do next? Stay with him or Go? I wish I was brave enough to hope he could take it if I left, I'm Scared for the both of us. What's next for me to do. We have four children two of them are with us. What are they going to see him do or say to me that will make them scared too? I am so ....whatever it is. I can't hardly think anymore.

Posted by: m at May 13, 2005 05:47 AM

Jamie, I thought I had read all of the blogs on the site. However, for some reason today your's stood out. How beautifullly heart-felt you have written. I could feel it with you. I hope in with all that you do, that you give that little girl inside more attention.


Posted by: Sandi at July 2, 2005 07:12 PM

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