Here I am!
Hi everyone. I am still here, just have not posted in a while.
Things here have been going fairly smoothly, as smoothly as they get I guess.
The most recent problem M. has had is an obsession with the finances and bills. I have nearly strangled myself over his compulsion to pay bills and recalculate the check book. We are finally catching up a bit on some bills, but we are far from 'doing well' moneywise. He talks about it with each waking hour and of course, when I mention that...he gets angry. So....I just listen and nod and ignore. Ignoring is sometimes my greatest quality.
I am doing well otherwise. I love my new job and so enjoy getting out into the "real, normal" world. I am making friends and finding out that men are not as bad as I thought, LOL.
The kids are doing great in school and are just a joy to be around. They make coming home each day from work more enjoyable. I can always count on them doing or saying something to put a smile on my face. They make this crazy household more normal for me.
M and I are, well, still more like siblings than spouses. It doesn't seem to bother him much, but it does bother me. There isn't much I can do about it, though.
Not sure if anyone can access my email somewhere on here, but if anyone needs/wants to email me please feel free to do so. I am always willing to help with these issues as best I can. It might only be a shoulder to cry on, but I do know that that can help sometimes. email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Much love and hugs to all. Keep your head up! Jamie
Posted by Jamie at February 12, 2006 01:29 PM
My wife was diagnosed with PTSS a couple years back. This was after she *almost* pulled our son out of public school while I was out of the country on business, because his teacher *insulted* her during a parent/teacher conference. I had to contact the school principal and *talk her out of removing my son from school*, which apparently was the track my wife had set on... with the intent of getting him into "Catholic school", even though we are not Catholic, and those schools are pretty hard to get into...
I forced her into treatment then... and she was okay, while she was on Zoloft. Then she dropped her counseling, and the insurance company dropped Zoloft. She got her PCP to change her perscription to Paxil, but she didn't *like* Paxil... and just stopped taking it last summer. That was when she spent three months obsessing over a used Sebring Convertable that she even drove around for a day (with our car being held as collateral), even though there was no way we could afford it.
She got worse after Thanksgiving. So I insisted we enter marriage counseling.
Bottom line is that she is *convinced* I am having an "internet affair" or that I'm gay (strangely, she doesn't seem to think I'm having a gay internet affair), because, frankly I fear her...
She is insanely jealous and long ago chased away all my friends.
Her grandmother and mother were both institutionalized, and she has a half-brother who is a certified schizophrenic. So I'm wondering if the PTSS diagnosis is correct.
Regardless, I go on walking on eggshells, trying my damnedness not to push her buttons.
I don't want to divorce her... But I have no wife... just another dependant...
Thank you for letting me blow off steam...
Posted by: Andy at March 2, 2006 08:23 PM
I am so happy to have found this website. My husband was diagnosed with sz. just 3 weeks ago, but I've known something was wrong with him for 6 years before I had to courage to seek professional help. I guess all the consequences are familiar to you: he doesn't work, he doesn't want sex, he wants to sleep and rest all day, he doesn't want to keep in touch with any of his friends, he basically doesn't want to talk to anyone. We have a 6 year old daughter, but now he is even too tired to spend time with her. He was hospitalized for 2.5 weeks, and his doctor started him on a therapy of 10 mg zyperax per day. Now that he came home from the hospital I can tell he is really trying to make an effort to change, but he still doesn't have the strength. He is a physics teacher with a university degree, a very intelligent, 32-year-old man. He was diagnosed with the negative symptoms of sz., such as not wanting to socialize, feeling a total lack of energy, wanting to be alone, having paranoid fragments in his thinking. If there's anyone in a similar situation, please email me as I am desperate to talk to people about it. Unfortunately he absolutely does not want my parents to know about the situation (so if you do know us, PLEASE don't let my parents know), and his parents just don't seem to care, they blame me for the problem. Actually I think his dad is in a very similar condition, but his mom never had the courage to turn to a professional. Take care, and literally take care of your beloved one.
Posted by: Éva at March 19, 2006 06:02 PM
Sorry if this appears two times, I wasn't sure about the posting system, and the first time I tried to post this, it didn't get through.
My husband was diagnosed with sz. 3 weeks ago, but I've know something was wrong for 6 years. I just didn't have the courage to seek professional help. According to what his doctor said, the negative symptoms (not wanting to socialize, not wanting sex, feeling a major lack of energy, just wanting to rest and sleep all day long) are much stronger than the positive ones, although his thinking does have paranoid fragments. He is 32-years-old, a physics teacher. He always had problems with finding jobs and than keeping them, and now he has not worked at all since last June. We have a 6-year-old daughter, she is the sweetest little girl, but now he wouldn't even want to spend time with her. For 3 weeks before I finally called our doctor my husband would just stay in bed, not eat, not talk, not even look at us. He was hospitalized for 2.5 weeks and started a therapy of 10 mg Zyperax tablets every day. He came home on Friday and I do not really see any major changes, except for the fact that he is willing to talk to us, but very little. He still spends most of his day with sleeping and resting. This is very hard for me to handle, especially because he definitely does not want my parents to find out about his condition (so, PLEASE don't let them know, if you happen to know them), and his parents know about it, but they absolutley do not care. They haven't even called us, and say this is all my fault. So, if there is anyone with anything to say to me, or in a similar situation, I would be really happy to hear from you. Take care, and literally take care of your beloved one.
Posted by: Éva at March 19, 2006 07:51 PM
Hello I found this website by just simply typing in a few words. Nevertheless, my husband has been diagnosed with schizophrenia since 1989.
To no avail he stopped taking the medicine and was terminated from his employment. He does not seem to understand the importance of maintaining a household.
His family has a strong history of mental illness.
I'm at the point I'm ready to leave, and never see or speak to him again. To add insult to injury our daughter is schizo as well. I'm the only sane person in the house. Help please email me. Thanks
Posted by: Wanda at May 12, 2006 05:53 AM
I am happy to see i'm not the only one with these issues. I've been with my husband for three years now. I did not find out about his sz. until I was already in love with him. He's a wonderful father and husband but he lacks ambition. I'm so stressed out because I carry us financially and we'll it gets unbarable at times. His medicine is at the lowest dosage and it keeps him so out of it. How is he to function with meds that keep him either in a stuper or in the bed sleep. He gets so frustrated that he stops taking them and I almost feel like he does. Is there a way to stay mentally healthy and medicated without being a zombie.
Posted by: shavon at May 23, 2006 09:06 PM
What a traumatic experience it is to go through what is a living hell. I married whom I believed to be a wonderful although slightly ecentric woman only 7 months ago. I initially believed she was just high maintenance. We dated 2.5 years, She showed no signs of anything wrong. Within a week extreme jealously showed itself and then control and abuse. I had no idea what was going on. I had married without my family knowing & against their advice. If I was myself paranoid I would believe that I was being scammed for my home, but I believe now that it is a serious health issue she has.
Little had I known what I was letting myself into. At the heel of the hunt I have spent two nights in jail answered two court hearings, barred from my home, I bought and paid for it, And the list goes on. Anyway vindicated for any wrong doing.
I have since spoken with her. I love her to bits. I have asked thyat she be diagnosed for whatever it is, even though she is in denial.
If anyone can help in how I can best approach getting her to seek help, otherwise I have no choice but to file for divorce, and I do not want that, but I could end up the same way. I need help and advice.
Posted by: Kieran at June 11, 2006 09:24 PM
I have been married to a Lebanese man for 4.5 years. Things have been bad in our relationship for probably 3 of those years and I have been trying to separate from him for 1.5 years (i don't feel ready to divorce).He started his own business in Jan and over the last few months thinks he is an angel here to save the children of the world and he can't talk too much as he may get attacked. I took him to the doctors but my husband denied it all and thinks he is fine. My problem is I don't feel I can put any pressure or stress on him and now have to stay (until he is ready) in this unhappy marriage
Posted by: Monique at July 7, 2006 10:29 AM
Hi everyone, i 2 have husband with sz. i have just found this wed page ,i feel i am not alone out there ,and i am not going mad 2 . i feel this illness has taken my best friend ,husband. father of our children and the marriage as well.Its like been married to a stranger NOT this person that has taken over my husbands body. reading some of your e-mail has helped .THANKS EVERYONE
Posted by: liz at July 19, 2006 09:53 PM
Hi everyone. I have been close to someone with sz. for the past year. He had been diagonosed 5 years before meeting me, but I did not find until out several months into our friendship. Most of the time I have been a source of comfort to him--the closest person in his life. Recently he became paranoid regarding me, our feelings for each other and my intentions. His life is now in a downward spiral, and I was wondering if any of you who have close relationships with people with sz. could offer me advice. How do you go about maintaining a balance between the person's perceptions, the truth and your rights in the relationship? If I just keep my distance and leave him alone, as I have been, will his fears ease on their own? I realize it doesn't seem to work to assert my opinions to him, but the choices he is making with the absence of my input are very self-destructive. For those of you who are close to people with sz., how do you manage to get though the normal ups and downs that exist in all close relationships?
Posted by: Marie at July 23, 2006 07:32 PM
Hi there. It's strange how you feel so alone until you read this website! My husband has been through 2 major operations. He is now on constant medication. His mood swings are really bad. He has always been a bit moofy but nothing like this. My kids and I are walking on egg shells most of the time. I don't know what to do. I still love him and don't want to upset the kids by leaving but it seems so negative here!! Thanks for listening.
Posted by: Katy at July 29, 2006 12:06 AM
Its hard even after 20 years of being together to finnaly get the truth and proof that somebody close to you has SZ.
We as family have battled with this all these years and although the symptoms were minor they have got worse as we get older.
My wife the sufferer has been whispering horrible things whilst I sleep,and trying her hardest to get me to hit her.
She has accused me of affair after affair with not a shred of evidence and then claim close friends collaberate with her proof??
My sons hear her at night trying to find my car keys or my mobile phone so as she may check them for evidence.
We have had arguments that have led to fights and then hysterical break downs , in one case she almost bit off the tip of my finger ,I was stopping her smacking my son and she managed to bit me , my son hit her with a slipper on the head to get her to release my finger from her mouth.It was painful.
We all suffer along with her, she needs sleep a lot and peace and quiet, very hard when both sons play electric guitars.
I have many more episodes to mention but I don't want to rant on, but we took the plunge and her last outburst made us see sence and call in the doctors.
She has been sectioned and still in hospital after 2 weeks diagnosed SZ.
Her mission is to get back home, but she still won't accept she is a sufferer of this desease.
Posted by: sam at August 11, 2006 11:52 PM
To all you people out there. There is help. It's called NAMI = National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. There are several in large cities and in your town or a near by town. They can help or tell you where to get help. I have been married for 59 years and have 2 sons who are mentally ill and a wife who thinks she is not.
I have been really thru hell and back. I know what you are going thru. NAMI lets you understand what is going on in your life and is a crutch to lean on. They can and will help.
Posted by: Robert L Neal at August 28, 2006 08:06 PM
some one tell me what to do/my husband is a multi mil.and very sick.he stays in his dirty office all day and sleeps uptstairs in his mold,and fungas room.he rages in the mornings.he has no friends never goes out.no sex.no communcation.and eats 99 cents bugers at buger king.never cleans his cars or himself.and hides his millions of dollars for??and he won't let me leave threatens' me.he is so sick he hasn't smiled in years.and puts on a act when his mother calls.he blames everyone in the world and he thinks he is just find.he is real parniod thinks everyone is out to get him. what is wrong with him
Posted by: shari at August 30, 2006 09:38 PM
I sought out this website today because I want to know how others have handled similar situations. I am so glad this exists and wish I had it years ago.
I am not schizophrenic but my mom and 25 year old brother are. Both are in denial but my brother turned violent recently and attacked my husband. He left him disabled.
My brother is now in jail awaiting sentencing for attempted murder.
I want to know if any of you have gone through something like this and if so how did you deal with it? How do you balance trying to be sympathetic to a husand whose been disabled for life as a result of the actions of your brother but still be there for your brother who is also a victim of both the health system and the criminal justice system?
my husband deep down inside thinks I am biased towards my family and would love if I just disowned all of them and lived my life with him. I just can't bring myself to do that though it would make life so much easier if I could.
would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
Posted by: Julie at April 9, 2007 06:09 AM
Hi I hope that someone responds to this as it would be great to hear from someone in the same boat. My husband was diagnosed with schizophernia about 7 years ago. He has been in and out of hospital several times. We have two children 12 and 9 and they know what is wrong with dad. He has now been in a mental hospital for almost a year, and still no change, after several different meds. The children don't even wont to go see him. 1-because the pashents scare them 2- because it's too hard to see that there dad has not gotten any better. 3- they don't like the strange things he talks about. Well the issue that i'm having now is that they are talking about sending him home for weekend visits even though there is still no change. I told the hospital that i don't want him comming to our house because i can't put the children through this again. Anyone that has been through this would understand where i'm comming from. I said he could come home for weekend visits but he would have to stay with his parents and have supervised visits with the children. But the family does not agree with me. He has been gone for almost a year and i can't imagion him comming home ot our house like nothing has happened and crawling into our bed. i just don't know what to do. My father inlaw has had to become his legal gardian because my husband has gotten us into so much debt with eracatly charging thing on credit cards. What he charges is beond me as i have seen nothing come into our house .My husband is on disability and has a limited income. but because i don't think I can have him back untill i see changes in him and untill he admits that something is wrong with him which he still says nothing is wrong with him, I don't think that i can put mysef and the kids through it again. Anyway my point is, my fater in law is now asying that if can't take him back then i should be thinking about selling our home to give my husband his half of the house so that he has money. I work from our home and have for the past 12 years. I told my fatherinlaw that if i loose my house i loose my job. and his responce is oh well other houses to live in and other jobs to get! nice guy eeh!!! Nothing like trying to take everying away from us. I have been 100 percent faithfull to my marraige and have no intrest in finding someone else. I just want my children not to have to worry about daddy comming home and going through this again. I just don't know what to do and i know that i have to make up my own mind . BUT i would really like to hear from someone that has been through this because i feel so alone. The doctors say that i need to learn how to have a realishionship with my new (no change)husband. I hope someone will respond to this.
Thanks for listening. Jen
Posted by: jennifer at May 24, 2007 12:06 PM
I am desperate for advise as I am at the end of my rope. My husband has OCD, graves desease and is a drug addict which makes taking medication for anxiety difficult as he always over medicates. He claim because his anxiety is so bad. It is now so bad he can't function. He repeats himself over and over for assurance. Hi is a constant worrier and he calls me at work repeatedly about the same things over and over again. I used to be able to deal with this but my kids can't tolerate him anymore. He gets help on and off and to make matters worse, I just got a job that requires travel and this has put him in overdirve worry. Here is the advise I seek. Should I quit my job (he doesn't work) to try to take care of him and force him into a hospital or should I continue to balance it all and know its up to him to help himself. Everything I do or try doesn't seem to work. Just typing this out is an outlet. He has destroyed our family, but he is so helpless I can't kick him out. My kids (18 and 21) are fed up and we all seem to be very mean to him which doesn't help him at all. I've been married 27 years and he has always had issues but now its all spinning out of control. Advice?
Posted by: Bambi at June 9, 2007 05:06 PM
Hi everyone, how are you? I don't even know were to begin. My husband was diagnose
with pychosis mood disorder. We've been married two years now. My husband and I been together the total of seven years. My husband had a relapse back in September of 2006 and he left to go do a comedy show in St. Paul MN were he is originally from. My husband never came back home. He bought a car, he has his own apartment, and has not called me at all up until last month which was in May. He wants me and the kids to move to St. Paul MN with him. I can't leave my hometown to move with him due to the fact when he left here I had to pay all the bills which he left on me. My husband also comitted adultery doing his absent. When he calls I feel so resentful towards him. I also told him that I forgive him for what he has done. He told me a week ago that he wants God to come back into his life. I am so confuse because somedays he call and at other times he don't. I have family that stays in St. Paul as well, we have a family reunion thats coming up on June 30, 2007. My asked me and my two kids to come and stay with him. I told my husband that I did'nt feel comfortable staying with him and that I was going to stay in the hotel. He told me that he understood and that he wanted to pay for us to stay in the hotel instead of me. What do I do in a situation like this? Is there anybody out there that can give me some advise. Out of the seven years that my husband and I been together, this is the third time he has left and I of course I suffered. I want my husband to come back home to be with his family. The only thing is, my husband is in denial of his illness and don't want to get any help worth so ever. He thinks that he is a normal man when this is a pattern for him. I don't know what to do. I am so lost.
Posted by: Dalonda at June 17, 2007 10:56 PM
Hi everyone, how are you? I don't even know were to begin. My husband was diagnose
with pychosis mood disorder. We've been married two years now. My husband and I been together the total of seven years. My husband had a relapse back in September of 2006 and he left to go do a comedy show in St. Paul MN were he is originally from. My husband never came back home. He bought a car, he has his own apartment, and has not called me at all up until last month which was in May. He wants me and the kids to move to St. Paul MN with him. I can't leave my hometown to move with him due to the fact when he left here I had to pay all the bills which he left on me. My husband also comitted adultery doing his absent. When he calls I feel so resentful towards him. I also told him that I forgive him for what he has done. He told me a week ago that he wants God to come back into his life. I am so confuse because somedays he call and at other times he don't. I have family that stays in St. Paul as well, we have a family reunion thats coming up on June 30, 2007. My husband asked me and my two kids to come and stay with him. I told my husband that I did'nt feel comfortable staying with him and that I was going to stay in the hotel. He told me that he understood and that he wanted to pay for us to stay in the hotel instead of me. What do I do in a situation like this? Is there anybody out there that can give me some advise. Out of the seven years that my husband and I been together, this is the third time he has left and I of course I suffered. I want my husband to come back home to be with his family. The only thing is, my husband is in denial of his illness and don't want to get any help worth so ever. He thinks that he is a normal man when this is a pattern for him. I don't know what to do. I am so lost.
I am sorry if this posted twice but I want to know if this message had posted correctly.
Posted by: Dalonda at June 17, 2007 10:59 PM
Posted by: saingls at November 14, 2007 05:10 AM