August 13, 2006

Hello Again

I am sorry that I have not kept this blog updated like I intended to do.

Things here are much the same. Not that that is a good thing, it just is.

M. is still functioning, and working 4 hours a day.
I see where he is failing on a daily basis.
One of those things is his ability to drive and do so safely.
Not sure how I am going to break it to him that he really shouldn't be driving anymore. It is coming though.

We live as roommates raising our children basically. We have about 3 more years til they are all graduated and out on their own.
I am not sure what will happen then, as I really can't see myself in this same situation 10 years from now.

I crave a "normal" life with a man that wants me, needs me, treats me kindly, has a physical relationship with me, loves me.
That is not going to happen here in this relationship.
It is so sad, really.
IT makes me feel very selfish, but as I get older, I just cannot watch life pass me by like this.

I really have no idea what will happen. I am just going with the flow for now.

Posted by Jamie at August 13, 2006 02:15 PM


Jamie, I was so happy to find a new post in your blog. I've been regularly reading and posting on the husband/wife and girlfriend/boyfriend board on, and it's been better for me than any advice some doctor could give me.

I understand your situation, and sympatize with you. I also live with my husband as roommates, raising our daughter. He does not work, and we hardly make our living (I work as a high-school teacher)... But for now I'm enjoying the peace we have at home: ever since he was diagnosed, there's no fights in our house and maybe I'm too optimistic but I see him doing kind of better. He is still very tired and only active for a couple hours every day, but over the past couple weeks we had some pretty good conversations. I guess I'm pretty much used to this situation, and although this is definitely not the life I always dreamed of, I could not leave my husband now... However, we'll see what comes ten years from now.

I wish you strength, endurance and optimism and please keep writing, cause (I'm sure along with many other) I really enjoy your blog, there's a lot to learn from you. Bye for now, √Čvi

Posted by: evi at August 22, 2006 12:31 AM

Wow there are other people out there dealing with husbands like this!!! I too am and am so weary of the whole situatuation yet love him dearly. He is on Seroquel which does work well and he was doing well until he was injured at work badly and a radial arm saw cut thru his hand and has been off for 11 months now! He can not return to the mills at all! Now home with me every day! God help all of us women! Was this God's plan for us, I question?I myself now am in trouble taking nerve pills on and off and feel like I am going crazy! How do you cope with all this? I am a Christian and have faith but am losing some at times! I am a very loyal person so guilt sets in if I even think of leaving, plus I do not work now.I do not believe he could be left alone too much! Well bye, thanks for listening, Christine

Posted by: Christine at September 1, 2006 01:22 PM

Hi Jamie, and all out there reading this.

I'm in the UK, and found this website through a search. I met my wife 4 years ago, and at first she seemed quite ok, although she had issues from things happening in the past. About a year or so into our relastionship, she quit her job.....everyone was 'getting at her' all the time....since she has been on anti depressants and unable to work....she has also been having counselling and seeing a pyschiatrist. We got married in May of this year, and until now she was on Sertralin, which did her good. However, that drug is dangerous if she gets pregnant. So she was put on Lofepramine, and things have spiralled out of control....I have had to stop her self harming and having uncontrollable rages....she thinks everyone hates her, and that god is punishing her, and so he wont let her have a child....and yet, her docs still wont admitt her to hospital! The support for her is very bad, all the NHS trusts have little budget to help her......I'm now feeling like I'm starting to lose it myself....we have only been married for nearly 4 months. I have a support unit to go and see next week......I'm bringing all the money in and it's putting me under enormous pressure....i'm starting to feel like I should leave, but I start feeling guilty, it's not her fault she's ill is it........her diagnosis is long term anxiety, stress and depression with paranoia. I also think she may be schizophrenic, as she has had my voice and other family members voices in her head telling her what to do.......I just don't know what to do, she is in a state that after 3 months of trying to be pregnant, she isnt.....has anyone got any advice for me??

Posted by: Paul at September 13, 2006 12:09 PM

Paul, please read some of my post's here, my wife has been an SZ sufferer for years, she has had NO help up until now, the course of action means you have go to your GP tell him/her the situation, he will suggest you call them the next time she has an episode, this will involve the Police, and a crisis team of a nurse, doctor, and social worker who have to be present when they section her under the mental health act.
Once this has happened she will be admitted to hospital and hopefuly treated for SZ. Shw may spend up to a month in hospital whilst they monitor her to the tablets and therapy.
Its hard but unfortunatly the only way. Make sure you let her family know all about this if you proceed .

Posted by: sam at October 10, 2006 08:45 PM

people with schizophrenia can recover. they can have families and be productive members of the community. i think just because your husband came down with a mental illness, is no reason to throw him away. i think you should reconsider. it may be hard dealing with mental illness while he is still in the begining stages of recovery.

Posted by: jessica at November 30, 2006 04:11 PM

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