April 15, 2004

Grieving the loss of Normal.....

Grieving the loss of Normality is a definite truth for anyone with a mentally ill family member, especially a child. We've been through this over and over in the past seven years. BTDT so many times with Dalton, and I can truly say, we are finally to the point of being able to look to the future with hope and joy. Yes, we still have "If only..." "What if..." moments, but these are only occasional, not every moment.

David's dx however, is new. Although we have known for several years that he had "Issues", there was no acknowledgement of permanency, of a life-long disability. Even though his dx has been a relief and a release in many ways, we finally have an answer, it does bring that permanency thing to the forefront. I think I am more there than Gene, but Gene has come a long way in the past few months.

We have learned that we have to celebrate the smallest victories, like the mountains they truly are. Three steps forward, two or more steps back..... the cycle repeats over and over. The one truth that we have found in the past seven years is that, progress is made. It is simply done at a slower pace.

Normality is flexible. Every person's version of what is "Normal" depends on their life.

I used to say: "I remember when life was normal....." I learned to say: "I remember when life was peaceful....." now I say: "I remember when live was boring." LOL

Just think how boring all those normal people's lives are. they cannot imagine the intense pleasure an joy that we experience over such simple things as an hour of smiles and peace.

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