April 07, 2004

letting it settle

I would never want anything to happen to Michael. In the past few month I got so caught up in what was going on with him that everything around me suffered. I was afraid to come home sometimes because I didn't know what his current dillusion might be.
I spoke to a family friend one day not long ago who grew up with him, and I told her what a hard time it was getting to be and what a terrible disabilty it is and "how I would never want it." She looked at me and said, "but you do have it. It is your life." From that point on I guess I have been trying to deal with the situration a little differently.
My choice to stay was based on the fact that I knew if he was consistant with his medication, he would be ok, and he is doing good. We are doing good. I can consentrate again and so can he and that is something that is essential for survival. I had to be able to work and concentrate and not be distracted, so did he. And I was very distracted, very worried, and feeling very sorry for him. But that has changed. Actually there hasn't been anything major in a month or more and that is a relief to me. When someting does happen, it is very mild and we deal with it immediately and it is over. No more six hour talks. Its just over, and that is something different too.
I always remind myself that this is something new and to remember there will be days, bad days, but, today isn't one of them. Today is a good day, and they keep getting better.
The holiday seems to be a non-issue right now too, and that is a relief.
My advice is to just hang in there everybody. It is like a theaf in the night and strikes when it is least expected. Always be armed and ready to help chase away the bad things going on in their minds. And enjoy the good days without symptoms.

Posted by norm at April 7, 2004 02:52 PM


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