May 16, 2004

The good with the bad

I am looking forward to moving on Wednesday; but I guess along with getting the apartment came being broke. I paid all my savings for the deposit and the paycheck I received today is going to pay the movers. Also, I borrowed money against my direct deposit, so I really won't have income until the fifteen of June. I decided to cash out on my retirement plan with the school district. I should see that towards the end of June.

I guess that means I won't see my therapist until July. Kaiser offered therapy, but I'm not sure if I want to start over just now. The current therapist admonished me about the liver damage. She said I should have gotten the blood tests. The Dr.s didn't order them though. I think they are negligent. Also, she turns everything into something psychological. She thinks that my fatigue is just depression and my hunger is just an unmet need. I'm so tired of people telling me that I am fine and to basically shut up about it. When I have a name for it, then I will be able to show them. My mom promised me part of her liver if I need it. I thought that was so surreal, to discuss this possibility.

I put an ad for Project Return in the local free newspaper that comes in the mail; but I've only received two calls since it was issued on Wednesday. I'm thinking I'll have to advertise in The Daily News instead. Maybe that would have more visiblilty.

I'm in a new relationship now and I am afraid of his reaction when he learns about my illness. Also, I had a tubal ligation because of the meds and I don't know if he will be allright with that. Sometimes it is hard because my family is not traditional. So I have to come out of the closet on three or four different issues. You never know just where a man will stand on all these things. Everything could be really great, but then you drop a bomb and that's the last you hear from them. The question is how do you know when it is time to tell? You have to find the perfect moment, or maybe just the perfect guy. A person has to be mature and educated to tolerate what comes with this package.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at May 16, 2004 04:39 AM | TrackBack

Comments

My advice to my son at this point is that his medical history is no one's business but his own. Revealing your illness, tubal ligation, etc. can wait until a strong bond is built with someone. Even then, it is obvious that the news could bring lots of relationships to a screeching halt.
It is just part of the "Weeding out the Frogs" process. But I do know that perfectly healthy people can have crummy social lives too.

Unfortunately, too many people don't know how "uncrazy" schizophrenics can be.
Bonding with another person does not require you to "spill the beans" about everything in your life, in a gesture of honesty, early in the relationship. It is not the same being dishonest about who you are; your health issues are part of something you deal with; they are not who you are.
Regards,
Melanie

Posted by: Melanie Bigelow at May 29, 2004 05:30 PM

Comments: The good with the bad:
My advice to my son at this point is that his medical history is no one's business but his own. Revealing your illness, tubal ligation, etc. can wait until a strong bond is built with someone. Even then, it is obvious that the news could bring lots of relationships to a screeching halt.
It is just part of the "Weeding out the Frogs" process. But I do know that perfectly healthy people can have crummy social lives too.

Unfortunately, too many people don't know how "uncrazy" schizophrenics can be.
Bonding with another person does not require you to "spill the beans" about everything in your life, in a gesture of honesty, early in the relationship. It is not the same being dishonest about who you are; your health issues are part of something you deal with; they are not who you are.
Regards,
Melanie

Your comments counter does not seem to be working. When I hit "post" it comes back with an error message. That is why I'm trying Track Back, even though I don't have a clue what a Track Back is.
Melanie Bigelow
Posted by Melanie Bigelow at May 29, 2004 05:30 PM

Posted by: Melanie Bigelow at June 1, 2004 09:15 PM

If he is the "right" guy he will understand and accept you.You can't negotiate for anything less...

Posted by: Petros at June 11, 2004 11:09 AM

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