April 07, 2007

Good Friends We've Had; Good Friends We've Lost

Well I finally got my computer hooked up to dsl again and I am renting a studio apartment for $600 per month. I don't know how I will survive here with that rent but I will just have to get by. I am kind of devastated still over the events of the past six months. I am in a depression. I am isolated and am thinking of going to a day program to have somewhere to go all day.

I must say that it all could have been avoided if I had just taken the medicine like it was prescribed. I have recurring thoughts of all the delusional thinking I have had. It is not fun to remember it all. I need more therapy than I am being offered.

I am trying to get it together to go to church on Easter; but I probably won't go. I was with my mom today and she asked me if I just sit at home all day. I didn't want to talk to her about that in a restaurant. She picks the worst things to bring up when we are sourrounded by people.

I can't seem to find things to do during the day. I go to visit friends some days; but honestly I am not the most talkative person lately. I feel like my family dumped me when I became ill. Maybe they dumped me a long time ago. My mom is moving to Texas and her house is actually on the market now. It feels really strange to see her moving away. She is considering buying me property there so that I can move there too. I really don't have a life here. I am sorry that my blog is dismal today.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at April 7, 2007 01:13 AM


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