The Joy of Madness

Oot and Aboot

I just got back from seeing a movie with a friend. We saw Georgia Rule. I'll tell you it was nothing like I expected. It had issues which I really didn't want to be confronted with and I had an entirely different impression before I went. I thought it would be a light comedy/romance/drama but it was a little sad and twisted. My friend really enjoyed it. I haven't been that thrilled with movies lately.

Before the movie we went to dsw shoe store and I got some shoes and a wallet. I got a free tote bag because I signed up to join their discount club. After the movie we ate at the cheesecake factory. We were too full for cake though at the end. Boring huh?

Yesterday I went downtown to the central library which was kind of an adventure for me since I haven't been to L.A. by train in a while. I got some cds and a dvd. I also picked up a book called not for tourists guide to L.A. I really wanted to find a tourist guide to visiting Dallas; but didn't see one in that section. I had also wanted to find some dance music to play as I get going in the morning. I need something really peppy to make me move. So now I am kind of stuck on this house mix and this cd of Venga Boys. I also sometimes pop on Daddy Yankee to dance. I wound up checking out a Buddha Bar cd and it was very mellow. I was hoping that it would be a dance mix but since it doesn't have any info on the cover I just got it.

Tomorrow I am going to visit another friend in North Hollywood and we are going to go swimming in the pool at her building. We are also going to watch a movie. I am supposed to bring the copy of Hitch that I found at a thrift store. Or maybe that was a gift. Next weekend is her birthday so we are going to go to the beach. She likes Santa Monica Beach so we will go there. I need to go buy birthday gifts for my friends since two have birthdays this week.
I am thinking of buying jewelry and hair things.

I don't have a therapist yet since the last one resigned. I guess I just have to get well on my own. I am losing my dr. next month. I have been very naughty and have been taking 125 mg of Lamictal instead of 100 like he told me to. Also, I reduced the Carbemezepine by one extra pill as I am titrating off of it. I think he was working it way too slow and I am the one who has to deal with the depression on a day to day basis.

On Tuesday I am going to another interview for the transitional housing. Lord I hope they don't chew me up and spit me out again. I feel like humpty dumpty. I just barely got up off of the ground from the last interview. I feel like it is the damned parole board or something. I hope that after this that I get in there. One person I know of went into this building and was placed with a roommate who actually kept yelling at her to stop using the stairs so much. This lady couldn't handle her roommate and just left the program. I wouldn't have any alternatives if I got there and it turned out that I just couldn't hack whoever I am partnered with.

I went to see my friend Annie last Tuesday in Canoga and it was kind of upsetting. I felt like she really didn't feel excited about me visiting her. I ate lunch with her and then we went for a walk. I was hoping we would get a chance to talk; but the chance never arose. I left there with my stomach in knots. It takes me an hour each way on one bus and the trip was kind of a let down.

I hate how my days kind of bend one into the other and I can't recall what I've done in the previous week. I don't even know what I did last Wednesday. And I only have two things planned for next week. How can a person live this way with no purpose to their days?

I am thinking about doing some trips to museums during the week. I am not that familiar with ways to travel by public transit in this new area that I am renting in now. It is a bit of a struggle being in this little corner of town.

June 11th classes at the community college begin and I might take P.E. I wish I could figure out a new career to train for but right now I am not sure what that will be. I sometimes wake up and think why get up? I don't have anywhere to go. But I am sure that something will come along to break this monotony.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at May 26, 2007 11:53 PM