A Mother's Journey

The diagnosis

It was a Friday........reasonably warm for a coastal November day..when my son had his lie detector test appointment. He was being interviewed by the officer who was to do the test when he mentioned that he hears voices. He said to the officer "but it's ok because my mom got me an appointment with a neurologist". The officer very kindly told him that they would put off the test until he got the results, just to make sure the test was correct. How considerate I thought. So my son and I spent the afternoon walking around town, window shopping, and just having good mother son time. I went to work and he went to his drug and alcohol counseling. He had gotten an MIP (minor in possession) for alcohol and was seeing a man he really trusted and liked. I guess I had been at work for about 2 hours when the phone rang. My son's probation officer was on the phone telling me to go to the hospital and that she had called the police to pick my son up at his counseling appointment and he had evidently become beligerent. Now I was panicked and confused. Upon arriving at the hospital I watched the police car pull up, the officer being the same one who had called him a liar. As the officer got out I could hear my son yelling and screaming and had to watch helplessly as he beat his head on the divider window. At this point the officer yelled at him"If you hurt my car there will be trouble" OK.......now I lose it...I could see he was in one of his "rages", and all this guy was doing was making it worse.......so I told him to just shut up and leave him alone. Meanwhile his probation officer, someone from mental health, and the Chief of Police show up. They take my son into the ER and me into a conference room where they procede to tell me what was going on. Evidently the officer in charge of the lie detector test called the Chief who then called my son's probation officer, with the concern that there might be a mental health issue!!! Well, HELLO !! Pardon me if this now gets a little confusing but the moment was filled with confusion. I began to yell at each and everyone of them....Where have you people been for the last year when I have been begging for help and direction? Why is it you only want to help if you can "cuff and stuff", and many more things. I then asked them why they hadn't called me before they went to pick him up......no answer. My sons story on how it happened goes like this.........He went to his drug and alcohol counselor, when he got there the guy was acting weird. He said all he wanted my son to do was lie down and relax. Thinking something was up he decided to leave, his probation officer walked in and said no you can't, you have to go to the hospital and get an evaluation. His reply was "no my mom is taking me to a neurologist, I don't need to go to the hospital". That is when they called the police. They arrived as my son was walking towards home ( 7 miles ) and started to chase him.........down the highway.....in the dark.....in a car( my son was on foot). They finally caught up to him, knocked him to the ground, and handcuffed him, he was 16 years old. Then they called me.........
So we are now in the hospital. They have to rule out drug and alcohol intoxication befor they can do a mental health evaluation. They asked him if they could take blood and he would not answer. He would not acknowledge anyone or anything.........He did ,however look at his P.O. and tell her that he hated her F****** guts. The doctor could not take his blood without his permission because he was 16. I didn't know that at 16 a child could refuse medical procedures even with parental permission......neither did the police, and boy were they mad!! They would not allow me to be alone with him..."he was dangerous", well, please, I had been dealing with these rages for some time. Finally I convinced them to give me a few moments alone with him. He was devastated. He puts a great deal of importance on trust and everyone that day had violated it. He seethed with hatred for his alcohol counselor who "betrayed" him. And by the way, what were they thinking when they left an alcohol counselor to keep tabs on a suspected mental health subject? All they did was ruin a very healthy relationship for my son. The same goes for his P.O. and of course the police. He asked me how come I didn't come take him to the hospital and I told him that they hadn't called me until it was over. Well I convinced him to do the blood test and do what they wanted because maybe they could find out what was wrong and we might not have to go the neurologist, which was going to be expensive. He made a total turn around and was completely agreeable. With emotions already running amok, the mental health advocate told me that they were going to have him committed to a hospital that was 3 hours away, and they were taking him immediatly. They injected him with Haldol and we waited for his ride. He seemed so tiny to me in that hospital bed.......my little boy, scared half to death. The van came and took him away........far away since I didn't have a reliable vehicle to get to him. I went home and waited for the hospital to call. I was so numb. I still wonder sometimes how I survived it all. The doctor called the next day to tell me that on arrival it took 5 grown men to hold my son down so they could inject him with geodon and that they believed that he was schizo-affective........OH MY GOD!!!!!! My son has schizophrenia............and I cried, uncontrollably, for at least two or three days. I couldn't imagine how life was going to continue. Schizophrenia was the big hairy monster you see in your closet when you are young. It is people wandering around in a daze with that faraway look in their eyes...........I knew nothing about it except what you see in movies and hear in the news, and believe me that was scary. Now it was time to learn all I could in as short a period of time as possible.