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Janey's Blog: Author #15: January 2008 Archives

Author #15: January 2008 Archives

January 30, 2008

Weight Gain Problems

In the past few months the weight gain from my medications have been horrible. I don't even recognize myself anymore. it just creeped un townp on me so fast. To try and combat this, my husband and I joined a fitness center in town. We go twice a day when possible and I'm hoping to see results within the next week.

January 24, 2008

The Weirdness In Me

Over a year ago I was in a wedding where this girl married her third cousin. I never agreed with the idea of it but I kept my mouth shut. I rented my bride's maid dress and never took it back. I figured the wedding wouldn't be complete if all things wern't in order. After all, these two people were living in sin and I had to do all I could to prevent their damnation.

January 21, 2008

Made It Through Another Bad Time

I am happy to say that I am feeling a lot better now. Last week felt like pure hell to me so much that I almost had to call my doctor, but I made it through once again.

January 16, 2008

Another Lost Day

Yesterday wasn't any better than the day before. I found myself walking in circles around my house not knowing what to do. I do feel somewhat better today, but not the greatest. I understand I will have good days and bad days, but the bad days hit me in a way like they will never cease.

January 14, 2008

BAD DAY

I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING TODAY. I HAVE RECENTLY HAD SUCH GOOD DAYS AND THIS FEELS LIKE ANOTHER SET BACK. I HAVE TO BE HONEST THOUGH. WHEN THE VOICES AND HALLUCINATIONS WENT AWAY AND ALL MY DELUSIONS, I CONSIDERED THAT THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. I IGNORED THAT I STILL HAVE A LACK OF MOTIVATION AND SOME PARANOIA. I WANT TO BE NORMAL SO BAD THAT I IGNORE SOME THINGS THAT HAPPENS. FOR INSTANCE, I RARELY GET DRESSED DURING THE DAY UNLESS I HAVE TO GO OUT, WHICH STILL ISN'T OFTEN. I USUALLY WEAR SWEATS AND A T-SHIRT. SOMETIMES I STILL FEEL LIKE PEOPLE ARE WATCHING ME, BUT IT IS NOT THAT SEVERE CASE WHERE I INSTANTLY PANIC, IT IS MORE OF A THOUGHT ONCE IN AWHILE. I STILL HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF DO THINGS AROUND THE HOUSE, BUT TODAY MY HUSBAND KNEW I WASN'T MYSELF SO HE MADE DINNER AND DID THE DISHES FOR ME. I HAVEN'T HAD A SHOWER IN 3 DAYS. I FEEL LIKE I AM A LAZY BUM, BUT DEEP DOWN I KNOW THAT IT IS THIS ILLNESS THAT STILL HAS A GRIP AT MY SOUL.

January 13, 2008

Got Through Another Weekend

I've been feeling really good. Weekends are usually the hardest for me because I feel like there is no structure. I made it through ok. I even had my husband cut my hair. I felt I needed a change. I haven't had my hair cut in over 10 years. It was really long and now it is up to my shoulders. It's a weird feeling with it gone, but I like it.

January 10, 2008

So Far So Good

I feel good today. I went to the grocery store and I am making cookies for my daughters 4-H bake sale tomorrow. I watched some TV and played a video game for awhile. I don't have to see my Psychologist for another month.

January 9, 2008

Made It Through The Holidays

Christmas and New Years went by without any problems. I'm still doing well and I feel good. I also feel lucky because I know there are other people with the same illness that has a more severe case than I do. I like to think that I will myself to get better and I am in control. The fact is if I would have waited any longer to seek treatment I would probly be as incoherent as some cases are.

January 9, 2008

Made It Through The Holidays

Christmas and New Years went by without any problems. I'm still doing well and I feel good. I also feel lucky because I know there are other people with the same illness that has a more severe case than I do. I like to think that I will myself to get better and I am in control. The fact is if I would have waited any longer to seek treatment I would probly be as incoherent as some cases are.

About This Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries written by Author (#15) in January 2008.

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