April 26, 2006

Stopping the Zyprexa...

After a near starvation diet of no more than 700 calories a day this past week, and no more than 1200 in general, I have gained 12 pounds since I started taking Zyprexa. In fact, despite that attempt to lose weight this week, by means of a drastic diet, I actually gained 4 more pounds, incredible as that might seem...So while I am not by any means overweight, yet, I am stopping the Zyprexa NOW, before it becomes the problem that it evidently is going to be no matter what I do or how little I take (or eat).

This is really a terrible situation to be in, because despite the constant and absolutely unceasing music no matter what I do, I had just started reading again, and had even renewed a couple of magazine subscriptions, thinking I'd turned a corner and would be able to read them...I don't think the Abilify will help as much as the Zyprexa does in that regard, alas, though I won't give up hope just yet...I guess if I find I can't read once again, I'll have to return to books on tape and books...But there is something about the experience of reading a book that listening to one just can't match, though it definitely has its own merits.

One of the reasons I HAVE to stop the Zyprexa, whether or not I want to, is directly related to the weight gain (but isn't the weight itself): it's the risk that if the voices -- command hallucinations -- return, they will have ammunition to use on me that I will fully agree with ("Fatso" "What a lardass!" and so forth) and if they decide to order me to do "something" (dangerous to myself) about it, I may in fact feel so terrible as to act on what they say...That's the real danger. However much I don't want to take up space in the world, and don't have a right to, it's that very real danger that militates against my staying on the drug. I must stop taking it now, before I reach the point of anyone having to worry about my safety.

Posted by pamwagg at April 26, 2006 11:08 AM


I took zyprexa which was ineffective for my condition and gave me diabetes.

Zyprexa, which is used for the treatment of psychiatric disorders, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, accounted for 32% of Eli Lilly's $14.6 billion revenue last year.

Zyprexa is the product name for Olanzapine,it is Lilly's top selling drug.It was approved by the FDA in 1996 ,an 'atypical' antipsychotic a newer class of drugs without the motor side effects of the older Thorazine.Zyprexa has been linked to causing diabetes and pancreatitis.

Did you know that Lilly made nearly $3 billion last year on diabetic meds, Actos,Humulin and Byetta?

Yes! They sell a drug that can cause diabetes and then turn a profit on the drugs that treat the condition that they may have caused in the first place!

I was prescribed Zyprexa from 1996 until 2000.
In early 2000 i was shocked to have an A1C test result of 13.9 (normal is 4-6) I have no history of diabetes in my family.
Daniel Haszard

Posted by: Daniel Haszard at August 31, 2006 04:34 PM

Dear Pammy,
Nothing that you have written in your blog surprised me in the least. In fact, I was just waiting for the shoe to fall. What may surprise YOU, however, is that I too do not want to take up space in this world, but I doubt if the spirochetes will do me in,and I would never attempt suicide. You have to be extremely knowledgeable to pull it off, and if you fail,your freedom and independence are lost forever, something I simply cannot risk. I know that you would advise me to value myself, love myself, and reach down as far as I could to find the happiness that only I can provide for myself. This comment, however, is not about me. It is about you. You have survived a living hell far longer than a lesser being could possibly equal. Because of this, are you willing to "Play it again,Sam", confident that you can endure anything but those dreaded pounds? You never did answer my question about whether you truly did believe that the voices were a product of a mind cruelly skewed by your disease. If you do accept psychiatry's explanation,is it possible for you to ignore whatever they say, no matter how hateful or dangerous the comments may be,and give NO CREDENCE to anything you may hear? You have been able to do so thus far. The bottom line is what is the most important variable for you. Is it the ability to read in peace and quiet? Is it the fear that weight gain will give the voices fuel to hurt you enough that you may hurt yourself, despite the fact that right now I am assuming that you know that they have NO POWER over you, they DO NOT EXIST, and you are infinitely capable of making intelligent choices? Do you really want to go back to square one, a helpless victim of a mere manifestation of your disease and nothing more? Help me to understand what you really want, Pam. More importantly, what would you say to me if I were wrestling with the enormity of the decision which you must make. Your innate honesty would prevent you from suggesting anything to me that you would not do yourself. Yet again, I am leaving you with the question,"Is it the lady or the tiger?" You have to make a choice, my dear, dear,precious friend. You know that I am there for you, whatever your choice may be. I just do so need to know where you stand. So much love, Paula

Posted by: Paula Kirkpatrick at April 26, 2006 08:46 PM

Hi, I am a student at Connecticut College in New London CT. I am a Psychology major and am currently enrolled in an Abnormal Psychology class. We had to read your book, Divided Minds, I literally JUST finished it. I wanted to tell you that it is amazing, one of the most fascinating memoirs I have ever read in my life. You are a brilliant writer and poet. Bravo. I found this book extremely interesting, seeing as how I would love to work with patients of Schizophrenia some day. After I graduate I want to go to graduate school for Clinical Neuropsychology. Reading this book assured me that this is what I really want to do. Thank you for sharing your struggles, accomplishments, and life with us; you are helping many people who's lives are affected by this disorder. I recently gave the name of your book to my friend who's mother was just diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It is helping her learn about and understand the complex disorder and her mother. So, thank you.


Posted by: Ashley Calabrese at April 26, 2006 03:53 PM

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