March 24, 2004

First off, thanks for the replies to my first post.

You know, I think we are a pretty ordinary couple, other than the sz. Of course, I guess I am not real firm on what ordinary is because this is all I have known for my adult life.
I do know that I am pretty lucky, that we don't deal with drinking, illegal drug abuse, physical violence or infidelity. I know a lot of "normal" people who do all those things! Thank goodness, we don't have to add any or all of those things onto an already full plate.
Don't be misled...this is not a bed of roses. Plenty of times, I have thought of walking away and never, ever looking back. What has kept me here? Sometimes I don't have a clue.
M and I have 3 children. He is a good father. He cares deeply for the kids and has their best interest at heart. He may not be the same as all the other dads, but he is pretty darn close.
Our kids don't know M. any other way than the way he is today. I have only recently explained to them what sz. is. They are teens now and I feel they have the ability to understand what it means and how they need to react to it. I also felt the need to talk to them about the genes, their possibilities of inheriting it and what they need to do if they start to feel problems coming on or any symptoms, etc... We also had a big talk about illegal drug use/abuse and how that figures in to their possibly of inheriting it. I stressed the fact that they have a 90% chance of not getting sz., but there is still that 10% chance that they could. I wanted them to know that I am their strongest supporter and they can rest assured that I will do everything possible for them if something arises. Phew. This is my greatest worry in life that one of my children will suffer with this illness the way M. has.

I went for 17 years without support for myself. I knew that their must be other people in my position, but never had the time or desire to find out. After buying my computer, I was astounded at the number of spouses/signicant others that are here on And the fact that they have heard it all, seen it all and are not shocked by anything was amazing to me! It truly was one of the best days of my life to connect with people in my situation.
Recently I also started on prozac to help myself with depression. What a difference! Why did I wait so long? Who knows.

M.'s disease has been a secret for 20 years. The only and I mean only person whom I have told is my sister. I have 2 very, very close friends that I have not told. I am not worried that they won't "like" me or judge me- I am worried about that they will feel different toward M.
M. does not tell people either. In the small town that we live in, more than likely he would be quickly excluded.
It is a shame, a real darn shame, that people are so ignorant about mental illness. It doesn't help that tv, music, press throw out words like sz., bi-polar, multi-personality disorder...when they have absolutely no idea what those words mean. Maybe someday I can do something to help people in the world to understand or at least know the facts. I will put that on my 'to-do list" :O)
More later....

Posted by Jamie at March 24, 2004 02:38 AM | TrackBack


finally!!! I stumble across a statement stating that illegal drug use can trigger sz.For the 12 years that I've known my husband, he showed no signs until he abused meth.He's been diagnosed with sz and bi polar disease. pamela

Posted by: pamela at March 27, 2004 03:23 AM

I can really relate to the part about not telling anyone and about the press' view of these ilnesses. I have a big problem too with how Hollywood portrays mental illness. I have already started talking to my oldest son about sz and hope to be albe to keep the lines of communication open. My husband also used to use drugs but found that they actually made the paranoia worse and thankfully stopped. Paula

Posted by: Paula Fillion at March 31, 2004 01:08 PM

i finally have been diagnosed as bipolar with in the last two weeks. my wife of 8 years is divorcing me even though she knows know most of the problems in the marriage were products of the bi polar. i really don't want to lose her what should i do she is really hurt and angry.

Posted by: jon at June 5, 2004 08:06 PM

My boyfriend told me that he feels lonley and depressed when he's alone. He told me that he hears voices; sometimes they scream, or in pain, or breathe, or just want to talk. He said that they scare him. This doesnt happen to him when people are around. It happens when he's alone. He said that sometimes he gets angry and just screams and cries. He won't get help, im the only one who knows about this. Can let me know what might be wrong with him? His mom and brother are bipolar. Please email me back!

Posted by: Briana Doughty at July 14, 2004 08:24 PM

my husband is bipolar. he was well for 7 years. jan. of 06 he acted strange. long story short we are in june, he is still not right. he is fuctionig, but not normal. drs. don't listen. he is "depressed that is why he is acting stange." Bull****! he is not well and you are not helping me. Anyone, some advice please.

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