Things here are going pretty well. I am feeling much better. Don't know if it has to do with the prozac or therapy or both...but whatever it is I am forever grateful!
M. and I went out for dinner on Friday night. We went without kids and to a place that does NOT have a drive through! LOL! It was a nice time. I could not tell you how long ago it had been since we went out to dinner by ourselves.
I am actually starting to have feelings again. Ok, I know that sounds really strange. While I was so depressed, I had no feelings toward anyone else. I built up these protective walls around myself and didn't let anyone in. Safer that way, I guess. Now I feel that I am peeking over the top of the wall and it gets easier every day.
I am getting very excited about the move we will make next June. It will be so nice to have a new start! There are sooo many things I will do differently. When I make friends I will not keep my husband's mental illness a secret. I will live honestly with the disease and if people don't like it, well, that is their loss. I just cannot live a lie anymore. I also want to get involved in some support groups. I have never done that before other than online. It will be a relief to be able to experience in real life the feelings that other people have that have a spouse with sz. or mental illness. It will also be nice to be around/closer to M.'s family. I have 9 months to get packed! I plan on going through everything and getting rid of stuff that we don't want and need. That will be a lot of stuff, probably! LOL.
It is so nice to be able to see the future again. To get excited about it, and make plans.
The sun is coming up here and that makes me smile.
Posted by Jamie at August 8, 2004 01:03 PM