September 07, 2004
I do not claim to be a poet by any means! But I gave it my best and here it is. It comes from deep within.
There is nothing so loud
as your silence pounding in my ears.
You care about me, and me about you
It has been that way for years.
I am weary of being in a club just for one,
feeling so alone.
I can feel the way it used to be
before we both turned to stone.
Is it possible to find us again,
or make us even better still?
I miss your laugh, your humor
your tenderness, knowing that I fit the bill.
There is nothing so loud
Posted by Jamie at September 7, 2004 11:26 AM
as your silence....
After reading your blogs over some time, it's obvious you are a person of strength and courage. Your poem is so beautiful. Please continue to write. - J
Posted by: Jason at September 9, 2004 02:29 AM
J.-thanks so much for your comment. That made me smile! I am glad that you are a reader of my blog. Thanks again, Jamie
Posted by: jamie at September 9, 2004 03:00 PM
I hope you don't mind me reading and commenting on your blog. I just happened to come across it today, and it is incredible. We are doing some research in my FSW class about spouses and mental illness, and I would be really really interested to hear your story, to hear your input and anything you have to add to my understanding of what it's like to deal with something so difficult. However, I don't want you to feel like I am using you. I really am interested in your life and how you are dealing with things. Maybe I can even offer something to you in return, though I don't know what that would be exactly.
If you would be interested in corresponding with me through email, maybe even meeting me on IM and chatting for a bit, I would be so grateful, and very excited to be able to listen to your story.
By the way, your poem is beautiful.....it's so honest and vulnerable. I respect your ability to be so open. I can tell already that you must be an incredible woman! :)
Anyway, if you are interested in talking with me, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. I'm a senior at Miami University of Ohio. Don't feel pressured, though, or anything like that. If you don't feel comfortable or just plain don't want to talk with a complete stranger, I totally understand! I'll just leave it at that, and won't be disappointed if I don't hear from you, but will be very excited if I do.
Thanks for reading.
Posted by: Kim at September 10, 2004 07:13 PM
Hi Jamie. After reading your blogs for the last couple of months, it is like reading about my own life - the loneliness, confusion, desperation and, sometimes, the hopelessness that comes from living with a husband with SZ. If it weren't for a few immediate family members, one very understanding friend and the kindness of strangers in a support group, I think I'd be off the deep end by now. Seeing as we have two daughters (8 and 11) and sixteen years of marriage under our belt, I can relate to the dilemma of wanting to leave for a better(?) life but feeling compelled to stay. We are on a roller coaster ride that we would desperately love to get off, but it never stops long enough for us to do that. Please stay strong and God bless.
Posted by: Carol at September 15, 2004 03:22 AM
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