Marriage and Mental Illness

Fall is here!

Hurray! I love fall and it really gives me a boost.

Things are going ok, here. I haven't had a whole lot to post about lately. I am feeling pretty darn good and M is doing relatively well, too.

He still seems somewhat depressed and is sleeping more than he had been. The paranoia seems better, but that could be just because he has been sleeping more and talking less.

Seven months til our big move. I am looking so forward to starting over and living near family. I hope that M can handle this stress, I am constantly monitoring it. I will try to do most of the busy work involved in moving, so that he doesn't have too. I really don't mind.

Well, I need to get ready for another day of work...

uneasy

I have been uneasy this weekend. M. has been acting rather strange. He is obviously depressed, quiet, in his thinking mood.
I am hoping that this is not the beginning of an episode. He seems rather nice to everyone, but me.
When I asked about that he said...Well, no one else asks what is wrong, they just treat me as normal.
So is that what I am to do too? Not question what the problem is? Am I too helpful?
I wish I had all the answers to the questions of this disease. Then I would be a rich woman!

Living

Hi, things are going ok for the moment.
M and I talked quite a bit this last weekend and he told me so many things that I had no idea he was going through or has went through.
I am throughly amazed that even after all these years, I still learn something new from him/about the disease every day.
By him telling me all these things, it has really made me feel less shut out. Which feels really good. I am hoping that by telling me his delusions/problems that will free him up too. I know that I feel much closer to him when I know what is going on. I don't like being on the outside looking in and that is what this disease does to me sometimes.

I feel much better mental health wise. My therapist thinks I am much better, too. Thank goodness! I sure don't want to go back there again.

I know this will really sound strange but I told M. the other day that maybe God wanted me to see what depression really is, what M. has been through. So that I would have more insight into the pain, fear, feelings that go along with depression. God, if you are reading this message...I did get the idea! LOL!

Well, tomorrow is Friday, I say TGIF! I am hoping that this smooth period will last.