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I went really early and was first in line to buy two bus passes. But I stink and am flatulent. I turned the air cleaner on. I think all the gas is from the coffee I drink as my dad was like this too and he drank 7 cups a day when younger. I am getting a small break to change my clothes and then head out to my stock market job.
I got some marking done and am almost done this 4th Q now with about ten papers still to mark for that Q. I will mark these papers this afternoon at about 4:00 PM until 5:00 PM. Then I am off to school for an hour giving a lab review session. I shouldn't write to much now as I have to leave for work in half an hour and I want to relax a bit first, and my cat is blocking my view of the computer screen.
I must still be insane. I am still up from 8 AM Monday with the intention of staying up until 9:00 PM tonight. This will be a 37 hour day. All this in an effort to make more money. At least I have only three hours of volunteering to do on Wednesday and all that is later in the day. I should really cut more activities and prioritse more of these jobs.
I need to do some marking this morning. I have marked 3 Q's out of nine fully. I have started a fourth Q and am done about a 1/3 of the papers for that Q. I would like to get that Q marked this morning and also another Q.
I will then go to my new stock market job for four hours a little frazzeled. I am working at this job four hours a week and will do this again next week.
I then need to do some shopping and pick up a new bus pass for myself and one for my wife. This means I will need to wait in line. Perhaps I can do this before going to work. I don't figure being in a long line at 3:00 PM in the afternoon on hour 31 of my day would be wise better to do this at hour 24. But maybe the line up would be shorter in the afternoon. No by 3:00 PM the line up would be long again. So early bird gets the worm with that. I also need to leave my wife some grocery money and bus fare. Maybe I will buy the pass at 7:45 AM and come home and then leave for work. Then I can relax at work and do more minor shopping after work. I can then come home and then go to school for the lab at 18:30. So next step is marking until 6 am.
I should have known that my D grades in probability and mathematical statistics would stop my application to graduate school. In the past when considering graduate school I had planned to repeat the two courses I scored D in. But I did not and these courses, with D's were the reason the graduate school director had to stop my application. I am not hurt. I took this rather well in fact going by the directors office and telling him I would have found graduate school too difficult.
Meanwhile I am scoring 100% in my experimental design course after two assignments. I am sketching out some experiments in music with my new PA/Recording equipment and the methodology in my course textbook. I also borrowed some books on midi today and a book on ethics in mental illness treatment concerning involuntary hospitalisation which may be a topic in my legal studies MA.
Speaking of my legal studies MA I thought up a survey into citizen's knowledge of crime as a good project for my thesis. I would study different types of citizens including victims, etc., as different strata in a survey.
I met J through the school's centre for students with disAbilities. We were chatting outside on campus this past few years whenever we met. He gave me a copy of Maple 7 before. We got talking apple computers lately. Then we talked iPods. It turns out he didn't need a pair of Shure earphones so he gave them to me. I am thinking of giving them to my dad or brother because I already have one pair.
I slept at about 10:00 PM last night. Today I started to inquire about some music education. The school of arts and culture at our university offers a diploma in sonic design. I phoned the people who look after this program today to ask for some advice in applying.
I have one class today at 1:00 PM. I also am meeting with some visiting union officials today at noon. I am going to meet R at our local 7-11 just before going to school and loan him 10$.
My week is really booked solid. I may not make it to the music therapy group this Thursday. I can wait and see what my schedule is like then. I have some health and safety training this Friday. I probably have a volunteer meeting this Wednesday evening. Tomorrow I have some stock market training. I have two labs to give this week but they may be review sessions.
I have a bit of a runny nose this past week and will take some medication for this, this morning.
I worked at my main job today and yesterday for a total of 24 hours. It was quiet weekend work. We ordered some food when I got home. I am now going to sleep at 10 PM. I just took my 6 mg of risperadol. I am slowly getting things done and money earned.
I woke up just before midnight. I am trying to have a longish day tomorrow so that when I get off work at 7:00 PM I am tired and can sleep right away and then get up early on Sunday for another day of work. This is the back to back 12 hours of work days. This was my usual schedule when I started this job back in 2001. I may do some marking Saturday morning before going to work. I leave for work around 5:00 AM.
I appreciate that people comment here so thanks readers of this blog.
There was this article a few days ago about the horrors of student email. I replied with some rules I know and am given and use myself as a student and teaching assistant. I discussed the article with my dad a long time professor. I emailed some internet researchers about it and one fellow sent me a blog entry about this article. It was an interesting internet moment.
The blog is here
http://weblogs.swarthmore.edu/burke/ and the fellow who sent it was Aaron Clauset who helped me.
The original article is here I hope
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/21/education/21professors.html?_r=1&oref=slogin. I guess it is all about school so it is all good.
I strongly believe that medicines are just the beginning to a successful recovery. One needs talk therapy too. I attended a therapy group today. We sang and played old folk and religious songs. I also arranged the dates for the hiring committee work at our self help group and also the staff evaluations for this year.
I worked at the building inspections for four hours today. I got 2 out of 7 floors inspected today. I am working all weekend in my older job. This job got me back on my feet in the working world. I learned a lot about how to work doing this work. I am not working in my TA lab work again until next Tuesday. I have some marking to do for this work. I am also volunteering on a hiring committee for the TA union right now.
I am also part of the hiring committee at our self help group. I was supposed to do some employment policies to for this self help group but have not followed up on this. I am also part of the staff evaluation committee. My real training in human resources like these is training in volunteer management a sub field of human resources. I think now that I am remembering these human resource experinces I will add them to a resume of mine for a managment of volunteers job or an executive director application. I will do that right now.
My volunteering with my school union involves me as a health and safety representative. This means I must inspect building for safety issues. I am doing some of these inspections today. I am just doing some email before going to school to do this. It is actually reading week at school this week so the majority of students will not be on campus.
I went to school to pick up my diploma yesterday. Today I will read a little mixed in with marking and inspecting buildings for safety considerations. I also have some union volunteering to do today.
I tooks some training in a day trading shop yesterday. It went well enough. I was over dressed for this shop.
I continued to mark statistics homework tonight. I have spent about 1 out of 8 hours now on this marking. I need to have it done in the next four days. I also have two buildings to inspect in the next four days. Also related to my TA work is some union volunteering which I must start this week and I have scheduled both the start of the building inspections and the union volunteering for Wednesday.
Today I am up over night from Monday when I woke up at noon. I am starting a new job today in a new field. I will be working at a trading firm today. I need to prepare my clothes for today and print the instructions on how to get to this office and I will do these tasks in the next hour.
I have printed all the manuals for my music equipment and have begun to read these manuals. It really is a lot to learn. I was able to get some signals through to the computer this past weekend but I have not done more than that. I need to read the manuals of the compressor/limiter/gate, the USB audio interface, and the mixer.
I started at 6 PM last night. I chewed 11 pieces of gum by 3 AM and had only smoked 6 cigarettes where as I would usually have smoked about 30 cigarettes. Today I did not quite get back on the wagon again. I smoked 20 cigarettes by 9:15 PM. I woke up at noon. I have chewed 5 pieces of gum so far today. I have smoked 1 cigarette since 9:15 PM. So I am at 21 cigarettes for the day.
I am keeping little voice memos on my iPod of my progress. I am varying between drinking water and diet pepsi. I am also drinking some coffee. It may be a 31 hour day today. I may stay up to 7 PM Tuesday as I have work and volunteer duties on Tuesday but also some hours off. I will fill some of these over night hours marking statistics home work and some in the afternoon resting but not sleeping.
I did not make it to the union meeting. I also did not record any songs this weekend. So my plans were unrealistic. I was able to test the recording equipment. I did set up the rack for the music equipment and have it positioned well in the living room. I can basically reach everything well. I need a couple more effects processsors like a reverb and maybe a patch bay and for sure some patch bay cables. I will need to do some more of this music making later. But I have started and I am reading more about music engineering. I also need to read my compressor manual and the USB interface manual which I can do this afternoon. I still have not done really any work or studying this weekend besides a little marking and some school work blogs updating.
I changed the CD drive in my new intellistation to a DVD drive I bought last winter and then got the computer to work with that DVD drive. I was then able to mount the Debian Linux 3.1 r 1 Sarge net install CD. I am installing Sarge now. My wife is making supper and has been watching Julia Roberts on TV.
I am feeling tired at 4:00 AM. I am going to sleep now. I will take 6 mg of risperadol and some vitamins and sleep. I just did some blog updating on other sites. I have been listening to Mozart on my iPod playing over our stereo. But I need rest now.
I have been playing with gadgets this morning and last night. I used my PSP to play Sims 2 and I also read some of the Official Playstation magazine this morning. I also used my iPod to listen to some podcasts and also record some voice memos. I am just going to check my bank account now and write down transactions for the past day. I may chat at yahoo this morning.
I woke up at 4:00 PM and missed my union meeting today. I spent the evening relaxing. I played Sim2 on the playstation portable. I also downloaded Project Gutenburg produced ebooks for my PSP. I also photocopied pay stubs to prepare my income report for this month. I am not working this weekend, is the plan, but I did do a little marking and may do some more over night tonight.
C and J came over last night. I let them watch TV and they watched a Starwars film. I was tinkering with Linux again. I actually stopped tinkering with Linux installs when they left and then used Linux on this old compaq laptop I have. The old laptop has a nice keyboard and I typed some good school work on it this morning. My union is getting busy at the end of the week and we have a meeting today at a coffee shop. My union is mostly friendly so it should be a good day today. It is otherwise a day off to catch up on the Internet stuff I do. I have avoided actaully reading any school books today but I am going to do a little marking now before my wife wakes up and we record some music. I have only been reading music books this morning and relaxed a bit chatting at yahoo. The chat was friendly this morning.
Yesterday I was basically working against the clock to get some statistics school work done. This has me worried as I get quite angry and I don't like being this way. I attended the lecture on time but found out in the lecture that I had my code all wrong. I knew this. The professor showed the whole class the proper code. Right after class I put 10 dollars on my student card so I could print at school. I then went to the computer room for students with disAbilties in the library to try to rewrite the code for that statistical model. These computers did not have the right software and althought the laptops on loan at the library had the software it was not configured correctly and would not work on these laptops. So I rushed off to the mathematics annd statistics school labs and did the code. I got it done and emailed to the professor. Between the class and the deadline for the home work I had an hour and a half to work. But doing the code and getting the print out was only one step. So I brought this to the professor and asked for an extension to complete the write up which she granted me and I have until noon today to do the write up. But after this is done my own studies are caught up for a week or so and we don't have any more homework due until later in March.
So this morning I need to read my SAS printout and write up the results and then go to school. I will then attend a mental health network meeting with mental health workers. I will be one of the consumer representatives at this meeting. I then will do a little shopping picking up some music equipment for this weekend's work/play on music. I will then come home for dinner and then back to school in the evening for some tutoring and to give a tutorial. I am also volunteering today in another role which may or may not take much time. Then tomorrow I take three days off to catch up on union volunteeing, web mastering and of course music making.
I start a new job next week working on the stock market but this won't pay any wages. I will be wearing a corduroy jacket under my parka today. In other words I am learning to dress like a professional. I may also buy a new suit for the stock market work. Right now I am dressing more practically for the weather. I typically wear heavy boots for the snow and a parka with many pockets for hat and gloves, iPod, smokes, and these days first aid stuff for emergencies. I typically carry a napsack too for books. I don't use a brief case but have laptop bags which I rarely use. In fact, I am quite into various cases and packs.
I seem to spending time these days either installing linux or doing statistics homework. These seem to get mixed together and eat up a lot of time. When one recedes the other comes to the fore. But these are workaholic related and this figures in over spending too because over spending forces me to work too much. In some ways the school work is more noble, because it is not for cash on the spot it is investing in a future or at least skills I can use now. Also volunteering is work like but also more noble and brings much needed positive feedback.
I am going to enforce a break this Friday. This Friday I will make music with my new music recording and mixing equipment. I will also do this on Saturday and Sunday too. This will not affect my main job nor will it affect my TA work. I will have to let me school work wait this weekend. I have only one volunteer union meeting to attend this weekend. But that might actually be fun. I don't think I will be able to stick to this plan but I will try to focus for three days on music making. After all I am again wired and tired working on school work and still have a few hours to go before I can sleep. Then tomorrow I have volunteer committments and a little evening work.
The first thing I did yesterday was go downtown and pay off a layway for an M-Audio Pro USB computer interface for recording music or getting electronic instruments and microphones into a computer. I tested it in Apple's Garage Band software and it works. But at the store the payment system charged me twice. I callled my bank and they fixed it in a matter of hours but valentines day was looking grime with no money left from yesterday's pay day. I was so mad actually and it reminded me of my old psychotic anger as this store was there in my psychotic past. I guess that store can not be expected to support the psychotic. Anyway I was worried about my present mental health but by being aware of what was going on inside me which my wife noticed too I was able to cool down and get home and relax a bit. I had a fair amount of school work over my head. Luckly the student I had to tutor last night did not show up so my wife and I ordered food. I also got a fair amount of my TA work done and lead a class discussion about survey's. I am just going to wake my wife gently and give her her meds now. Then I will get working on my home work, doing my Debian install, and updating my other blogs.
Wow again a great day in the mathematics and statistics school. I did get all my marking done. I will have some more marking to do starting at the end of this week. I also got to borrow a CD with Virtual PC for the Mac yesterday and installed the Virtual PC on my eMac and am installing Debian on it now. So I am getting a chance to run Sarge/ Debian 3.1 r 1 after all. And I get to run it on the Mac. I borrowed this legal software from our school's computer administrator.
I remember when universities had whole offices for computer adminstration now we have a whole department and each faculty, school and department have their own administrators so maybe nothing has really changed in terms of number of people employed. Myth or truth computers will replace human workers?
I also found out my mark for my first winter term home work aand it was perfect 100%. I have my second homework assignment to do over night tonight. I might report the progress here. I will sleep at 16:00 tomorrow having woken up at 8 AM this morning.
I attended my class today. I was able to get my TA work done this morning. I have some more TA work tomorrow. Also tomorrow I have to complete my MA application. I am just going to sleep now at 5:00 PM. I am tired and wired right now. I just installed Virtual PC for the Macintosh. I need to rest and have taken my respiradol and my vitamins about an hour ago.
I worked for 12 hours and came home and slept. I woke up at 7 PM tonight. I still need to do some work. I need to grade some statistics homework.
I spent the last little while thinking and scheduling and budgetting. I spent about an hour this morning trying to install some Linux video drivers but could not not because I have an old kernal. But I did successfully download the installer for the driver with ftp. So I was working ok on the command line. I also was downloading some Liunx CD's but they would not mount.
I am working tonight and will go to sleep now for about 8 hours waking up at noon. I will work until 7:00 AM Sunday. I should be fine at work tonight. I will see how I feel Sunday but will probably sleep at 8:00 or 9:00 AM Sunday.
At about 6:00 AM after taking one 3 mg risperadol pill I lay down tired. I ended up sleeping until 9:30 AM. I rushed off to school to tutor and was late fifteen minutes. We worked on first year linear algebra and my student wrote a test today. We will meet again Tuesday night. He has already paid me my wages so it is important that I continue to do the work. I then came home and ate lunch and then rested until about 8:00 PM when R came over. C and J came over at 9:00 PM and we talked and watched a TV show on DVD. They just left now for their homes.
Choosing to stay up all night tonight was a mistake. I also have to work an over night shift on Saturday night. I also have to work from 10:00 AM to 12:00 noon today. I will sleep at about 2:00 PM this afternoon for only five hours waking up around 7:00 PM tonight and then sleeping a good long sleep at 12:00 midnight until 12 noon Saturday. The real reason I am staying up is to do some grading of statistics homework. I did manage to mark for 1.5 hours now. I should try to do grading for another hour or hour and a half this morning before going off to school to tutor. I took an extra 3 mg risperadol pill about two hours ago so I don't become too wired. To quote a magazine known as Phoenix Rising " Work: a prison of measured time".
I reached out to the local Linux novice help email list and got some help with my Linux install and I am also doing this over night. My other computers are fine now. My new eMac gets the most use. My new IBM works fine for WinXP and it is this machine I am also trying to install Linux on. My palm is working fine but not getting as much use as my Palms have in the past. My iPod is also working fine. I am not using my PSP much but did try to get further in the Sims 2 game a week ago. I burnt a CD of songs for my wife and we paid for these songs.
I managed to dig up the residuals testing code from the older SAS manual for Unix SAS and will test this out over night now. If this works I am basically done the second of two questions. I will also start the first question which again is a bit like the first question in our first assignment. I will have to do the first question in Latex. Again you can see my time lines predicting much work right away. Perhaps I need to pace this out a bit more. I am staying up over night to get more work done on this.
My referee is a present boss and she will get my referee form done soon for the statistics graduate school application. I talked with her tonight while giving a problem solving lab where students derived formulas. My legal studies graduate school application is almost done too. I am focusing on this second application a bit more as the statistics application is now completed.
I woke up early having slept at 12:30 last night. My wife went out to see her ACT team then she went to L's house to see L's new cat. I went to the music therapy group after printing my statistics homework assignment from the professor's web page. The music therapy group was cancelled but I did drop off my amp and copied the labour song book for use at the music therapy group. I also chatted a bit with our executive director. I then did a little grocery shopping. I came home and tried to do some SAS code for the statistics homework. I need to dig up some SAS code for diagnostics for my model and then add that type of code to what I have done. I also have to derive a quantity which I will do in Latex,
I am tutoring tonight starting at 19:30 then I have to give a group problem solving session to some students at 21:00. Then I can come home and sleep. Right now I will read and relax a bit then complete some marking starting at 17:00 and work until 18:00.
I was up late last night studying and tinkering with my linux computer. I woke up with only 7 hours sleep and did not feel like attending my class today. But I managed to go to school and then came home. I have a volunteer meeting tonight. I am just relaxing before heading out.
I still don't have a desktop on the Linux machine I am presently settting up. But I have made some progress at getting woody to sarge in other words moving from a Debian 3.0 install to a Debian 3.1 install. I was able to install a Xandros desktop but there was various limitations like almost no software available for Xandros so I erased it with the Debian install tonight. With the Debian install I can't get X to start at the moment. It is installed but the configuration is not right and I think it is the video card setting that is wrong right now.
I had a quiet afternoon. My partner went to the hospital for her blood test as she does every two weeks. I stayed home and paid bills with telephone banking. I also did some marking of simple questions for my TA work. I then went to the vinatge music store and bought some more music equipment.
At school tonight I gave a group work problem solving and proof writing statistics lab. The instructor came in and helped me too. I was going to tutor a student tonight from the disAbled students centre but he was sick today. So I stayed in the library an extra half hour and read about on-line communites. I also read an article last night about commerical on-line communities for women.
I then came home and started Linux tinkering again. I also read my course textbook for tomorrow's lecture.
This is an old joke but it is medical joke so it may be in bad taste. It goes: The guy recovered from schizophrenia by his middle thirties but then died of lung cancer when he was 45. I mean, yes, schizophrenia is a major health problem but we have to make sure we don't smoke too much too. In fact I have smoked since I first got my diagnosis in the early 1980's. I wasn't a smoker when I wasn't schizophrenic.
I woke up at about 10:30 last night. I basically worked all morning from midnight or a little later on this statistics assignment and it is now done. I have it printed out in two copies. I am just shutting down my computer and preparing to got to school. After school I will go downtown to a Justice department building to give one of my referees a form he will submit to graduate school to support my application.
Today in the morning just before sleeping I sold a printer, an Epson Stylus Photo 700. I got 15$ for it and some soup. I was reading an academic article about computer war games and was inspired to install some computer police games on my new windows box. I installed SWAT 2 and SWAT 3 Close Quarters Combat and even downloaded an update for the SWAT 3 and installed the update.
I am just making some back ups of my Mail folder and my Documents folder on my external USB dirve.
I got most of my homework done now for Monday so am feeling accomplished. I am going to relax for awhile. I figured out why I was able to work for four hours in a row on this homework. At the end of this week I got another computer. I became occupied setting up this computer with WinXP, SAS and Linux. The WinXP basically installed with no issues. The SAS took some work but it is installed now. Getting the SAS software working at home was why I bought this computer. But I was not really free from being obsessed with this new computer until I successfully installed Linux which I also did this morning. After that was done I worked and focused on my school work the way I wanted to. So I am coming to look at myself in terms of having some sort of obsessive compulsive behaviour. I do obsess with installing computer software and also doing other things like writing a lot on the computer. I also seem to obsess when I am doing school work on the computer. So while some of this obsessing may be non-productive computer tinkering or not so health shopping on line some of this obsessing is helping me get through school and allowing me to learn more and pratice more writing and statistic analysis. And these are good activities.
One thing one has to learn about nights shifts or staying up all night is that one still needs to eat supper and lunch. I was again out yesterday without breakfast or lunch first. I ate some French fries at the union social after the meeting. I then went in ther stormy weather to the large grocery store and bought some food. I came home with it in the freezing rain and ate some yogurt. Then I ate a bowl of cerial. I just now made a health food veggie noddle soup. I also made two chicken burgers but over cooked them a few minutes. I am feeling better now and have had some successful computer tinkering just now.
I did some more work on the orthogonal contrasts just now. Earlier Saturday morning before I slept and on Friday night I did some more latex coding of the assignment. I have basically two long days left to do this homework now. I will be up today to about the afternoon and then sleep and wake up early Monday morning. The homework is due on Monday afternoon at 16:00 PM.
I attended a union meeting and had not attended for a few meetings this past fall. We are again growing and had about 8 people at the meeting. I got working on some tasks I had volunteered for when I got home to my computer.
One of our new members is a feminist and I am also exploring a women's studies course pack. A course pack is something my school calls a collection made by the university of writings for a specific course. I read two articles about feminism just now.
The sandwhich and the writing here helped me focus. I stopped tinkering with Linux and tried again to install some school software and was finally successful at the installation of SAS. So that is done and I need to sleep now at 6:00 AM. I took my usual 6 mg of risperadol this morning about half an hour ago. I am getting weary and tired now.
I always start homework with good time lines intended but even this week I have spent hours working, shopping, paying bills, being a disabilities/mental health advocate and doing union volunteering etc meaning I have avoided completing the homework due Monday. I have only two scheduled activities on the weekend but even with the free time available I will probably spend a great deal of time on my computers rather than school work. Even though I must work at the computer to get this homework done. I did do some marking early last night and like the homework deadline the marking work is causing a bit of a worry or neurosis.
I went to school for about 8 hours yesterday eating only a donut and a bag of potatoe chips. When I got home I had a small portion of puteen. I am feeling weak and my stomach is not well. When I feel like this I eat dairy foods to restore my health. I am going to make a mozarella sandwhich right now.
I chatted with a fellow worker at school over a coffee. I also stopped a professor coming out of the bar as I left to ask him to supervise my M.Sc. but he did not seem so keen on it but I can put his name in he said. That should be enough of a thing to complete this application for graduate school. I am not always keen to study statistics but I did read some historical analysis of poverty research just now that included references to statistics and some of its origins in the eugenics movement which you may know is a bad science that we who are disabled would like to target for attack.
None of my friends came over last night. My wife and I downloaded music from the iTunes music store. I started fixing up my new IBM Intellistation with WinXP, SAS and Linux. I have no yet installed SAS or Linux successfully. I need to sleep soon as I have a union meeting today at 4:00 PM.
I gave a late night lab last night. Today I am up at 9:00 AM to do some tutoring at 11:00 AM at school. I am leaving in about twenty minutes for school.
I did succeed to get one sub part of a question done and type set before midnight. I now have two more statistical tests to do in pen and ink and then I will type set those and I am done.
With a web search for a reference page ( I used a page by Sheldon Green this is the page: http://www-h.eng.cam.ac.uk/help/tpl/textprocessing/teTeX/latex/latex2e-html/ltx-115.html#math) for latex code I was able to type set two formulas for my homework. I just printed it out. I now need to type set my numbers from our data which I have already calculated with only a calculator. I will type set these before midnight.
The first assignment I have this winter term is not difficult but I am trying to type set it and not do it in pen and ink but on the computer. In fact I have solved one problem but need to type it up still. I have about 6 problems to do. I will try to do two more today in pen and ink and type set them today too.
I managed to get to work by about 22:00 PM on the 31st and then worked until 7:00 AM. I did not manage to go to school today. I had thought I could attend a seminar by the UN ambassador at school and then attend my class but instead I did the healthy thing and slept.