My life's Adventure: May 2004 Archives

May 30, 2004

Walk of hope today

The walk the world for schizophrenia is happening today on Parliament Hill. I have raised only 2$. I will walk and politic for the green party. This walk raises money for research. Although a lot of people just go for the free food.

Posted by petert at 11:12 AM | Comments (0)

May 29, 2004

I bought my last spring course book.

I bought my course pack as we call them for my law course that I am taking this spring. I read the first few articles on the bus from school to Staples. At Staples I bought a fileing crate and some hanging file folders. They were recycled material 10%. I also bought some multipurpose paper for my ink jet. This was also recycled material. I saw a nice sketch kit in the window of our main street art store. I went and had a look. I asked for help from a clerk. The idea was to have sketching materials to carry in my bag. I ended buying a small 5" sketch book and a plastic envelope with zip top. I already have pencils. I then bought a coffee and drank it on a street bench where I could smoke. I caught a bus right after that and came home. I gave away pens to all my consumer friends. I ended up almost within budget even with this spending today.

Posted by petert at 11:16 PM | Comments (0)

I bought my last spring course book.

I bought my course pack as we call them for my law course that I am taking this spring. I read the first few articles on the bus from school to Staples. At Staples I bought a fileing crate and some hanging file folders. They were recycled material 10%. I also bought some multipurpose paper for my ink jet. This was also recycled material. I saw a nice sketch kit in the window of our main street art store. I went and had a look. I asked for help from a clerk. The idea was to have sketching materials to carry in my bag. I ended buying a small 5" sketch book and a plastic envelope with zip top. I already have pencils. I then bought a coffee and drank it on a street bench where I could smoke. I caught a bus right after that and came home. I gave away pens to all my consumer friends. I ended up almost within budget even with this spending today.

Posted by petert at 11:09 PM | Comments (0)

May 28, 2004

the blog seems to be buggy right now

I am getting access errors on this blog right now. I can't see the posts I made today on the blog. I also seem to get a counter showing only 8 hits. It was at 2300 yesterday. Also I learned to delete spam comments tonight. So good and bad things happening on the blog.

Posted by petert at 02:39 AM | Comments (0)

made some peace with my brother

I sent my brother a message of sympathy. I also talked with my father and mother about an upcoming visit. I also talked to M about the visit. J's dad C is also aware of the visit.

Posted by petert at 02:34 AM | Comments (0)

My brother and I made some peace

I sent my brother some words of sympathy. I also talked to my dad last night and my mom tonight and yesterday night.

Posted by petert at 12:34 AM | Comments (0)

My brother and I made peace

I sent my brother some sympathy in an email. I also discussed this with our mother.

I talked to my dad last night. He is supportive these days. I guess he has always been supportive but I have not always accepted his support. He is a professor so supporting an active student is something he does well. He does not support my fincancial education nor my career choices all that well.

Posted by petert at 12:32 AM | Comments (0)

May 26, 2004

my brother and I not getting along

My brother has been supporting my mother and I and is now feeling the pain of this. He feels we take and take and don't give back. I know this is the case. I have asked him to stop supporting us financially. I don't like him being angry all the time. He also puts up a lot of defensive barriers and rudeness when we criticise him. At least he calls it criticism. I am thinking I am advising him. We seem at odds. He is carrying a lot of family weight. I can't use my self help techniques with him. Also E doesn't like my rudeness which I get from my family. I am also becoming a bit adversarial because of my law studies. I am learning more about how to question authority.

Posted by petert at 10:01 PM | Comments (0)

3 more hours class attendence more talking

I don't know if people with schizophrenia just like talking or what? I was very talkitive in class this past two weeks. I had three more hours class yesterday and 3 more hours tomorrow. That will make 10.5 hours and hopefully I will have done 43 hours of study at home or 4/1.

Posted by petert at 01:35 PM | Comments (0)

May 25, 2004

Finished another book 39 hours now.

Well my third class in my law course is tonight. I will be late to it as I am keeping minutes at a union voting meeting half an hour before class and that will last until 7 PM or so an hour after class starts. I completed reading another book for my law course. That makes two complete books read, 61 and 203 pages respectively. I have a few more books to read including a text for the course directly assigned by the professor. I have about four pages written now in what is to become a 20 page paper. I also have a about five minutes worth of slides for a ten minute presentation. The essay is about information security related to terrorism and the presentation is about GIS and emergency response. I have put in 39 hours out of class study now.

Posted by petert at 10:26 AM | Comments (0)

May 24, 2004

10 years on-line this year

While the schizophrenia society of Canada celebrates 25 years of existence this year I have been involved with the schizophrenia society for 15 years now.

My internet use is ten years old now. I would say just from school work alone it has been very helpful to have the Internet. All students at our school are now expected to register for courses using the web. This new computer networked environment is making big changes still. I won't say that it has helped my real life social life but my work life and school life have been greatly helped and in some ways socially people are expected to use the Internet now. I first went on-line with a Freenet in June 1994. I was just finding an unrecipricated obsession with my musical partner and had a sexual partner for the first time in 15 years the previous year. I was winding down my punk rock band. I was out of school and just starting on the road to recovery. I had owned only one printer at that point. I used an IBM XT computer and 2400 baud modem to connect to usenet and email. By 1995 I had quit street drugs and started to develop my web site The birth of this web site happened the day after I quit pot smoking. For years I only talked mental health in email and on usenet. My mention of mental health issues on the web had to wait until I did the semiofficial home page for the usenet newsgroup in about 1998. Now I do a schizophrenia blog at

Posted by petert at 12:48 AM | Comments (0)

May 23, 2004

Chatting with A

I am just chatting with A this morning. Actually my morning as it it 21:40 Real time. I am up late tonight. A is sane as far as I know as far as professional health care workers treat her. She is also a cybersmith or computer clerk to use '70's speak. I believe she has some cyber work these days. She is also a musician and has web pages she makes. She is a youth still. She is a college graduate.

Posted by petert at 09:44 PM | Comments (0)

Talked to M and our daughter

I phoned our daughter's adopted mother and got the latest news on F. She just learned to say *apple*. She loves climbing stairs. M had some interesting observations too. We are meeting for our third meeting next month. I promised them a copy of my wife's book. My wife got a copy to her dad and her sister today.

Posted by petert at 09:30 PM | Comments (0)

May 22, 2004

3 more hours = 36 hours

I spent some time making proper footnotes for a book I have to take back to the school library on Tuesday as another student has put a hold on it. I also spent some time printing more laws out for my 3 ring legislative binder. I also read some more of the books I have extra and the course text book. In terms of reading I am almost completed the weekend reading that was assigned on Thursday. So I studied for about 3 more hours for a total of 36 hours outside of class.

Posted by petert at 08:37 AM | Comments (0)

I am working a night shift tonight

I am working at my security guard job tonight. I just spent some time checking for changes at work. I will sleep now and wake up at 2 PM or 3 PM. I should have a few hours before going to work to relax.

I helped with the newspaper again this morning.

Posted by petert at 08:33 AM | Comments (0)

May 21, 2004

J's book published

My wife's book is back from the printer now. We had a little celebration. My dad has agreed to buy one copy.

Posted by petert at 10:32 PM | Comments (0)

R & E and I discussed the problem with W

I doubt any person with schizophrenia could not end up a lawyer if they could study for that job. Tonight R and E got to discussing W and his not returning things or paying for things we all sold him. We decided maybe we should call the police about it. The police women told me that I can't report it as theft because we loaned him the stuff. We would only have civil law recourse. Instead she advised we no longer deal with him. I told W in a phone message we would be doing no more business with him. He then called back. He explained he would return R's video games and movies and that he was going through issues. Seems R and E and I can discuss human problems as they arise. After all E's father was a lawyer and member of parliament. Resolution is one step further now.

E and R are over and getting along. C and J are here too and we all watched the TV show Joan of Arcadia about a young teenage girl who hears from GOD. I was in my room printing out laws for school work. Now they are watching 20/20 on siblings. I can't stand 20/20 personally so I am still in my office doing computing.

Posted by petert at 10:31 PM | Comments (0)

Putting in extra study hours

In first year a couple of people advised me to put in twice as many out of class study hours as classroom hours in first year university. One of them also said in fourth year one would need to put in even more hours. In this fourth year law course I have put in 33 hours so far outside of class. I have put in 4.5 hours class time so far. So right now out of class to in class has a ratio of 33 to 4.5 or 7.33.

Posted by petert at 06:13 AM | Comments (0)

Yesterday's work related stuff

I signed my assignment of duties form with my new supervisor yesterday M. She even gave me tutorial centre hours. I was able to schedule these with A one of my professors from the past as A looks after the tutorial centre. This arrangment pleased me and I am happy with this work condition. I did study the union's CA yesterday and maybe this helped make this process pleasing. There have been some reports of vandelism in the new centre that is only one year old now in its new location.

I also talked to my scheduling supervisor in another job and there is no work this week or next.

Therefore I should try to get as much of my school work done as possible in this week and next.

I was able to help with the newspaper route today. The fellow who does the route D is limping badly and it is sad to see him have to work himself to death just to make a living. He is a polio survivor.

I have another job where I have completed my hours for fiscal 2003 now. My employer the self help group network now owe me nothing and I owe them nothing. We need to negotiate the next years work, that is this year fiscal 2004.

Posted by petert at 06:05 AM | Comments (0)

May 19, 2004

Relaxing after class

My wife and I visited some friends. We actually met a friend's friend T. He is R's friend. R and T and J drank beer while I just drank coffee. We talked some interesting talk. T seemed quite intelligent. He was born in Poland and is a landed immigrant.

Posted by petert at 03:24 AM | Comments (0)

May 18, 2004

Finding students to tutor

I often thought in my lonleyness of a special significance talking to strangers. Yesterday I struck up a conversation with someone at the light rail stop. Actually he asked me about the fare for the train. I had meant just to mention the weather as it was a very nice day just getting hot these days. We started talking and I found out he is studying psychological statistics courses this summer and he needed help. He accepted my offer to tutor him. He is also a consumer with different problems not schizophrenia. He said he was impressed that my disability was invisible. I told him I sometimes grow a little stuble on my face to look the part.

I also met a former student I tutored last winter in 2003. He is taking three math courses this summer and he also asked me to tutor him. This could work out to 40-60 dollars extar a week.

I met with my new supervisor yesterday and she says the work should be easy. It is only the basic statistics we cover in the course so should not be too difficult. I mean to get my certification in Basic SAS programmer by the end of the summer. That is one of my work-study goals.

Posted by petert at 04:03 PM | Comments (1)

Got class tonight

I am up at 3 PM today for an evening class. It is our frst class.

I just printed out the recent entries from my study blog. Ya I am on top of my bibliography in this course. I also printed out my essay which is now 5 pages long. It is due in about one month.

I bought one of our course textbooks yesterday and read the first chapter.

I am doing well with this course so far and have even gotten some positive email from the lecturer so far this week. I have some help offered too in the schools centre for students with a disability.

Posted by petert at 03:40 PM | Comments (0)

May 17, 2004

telling the foster family story from my side

I have had one foster brother and one foster sister. I did not live with them very long in fact almost never lived with my foster sister. Like the rest of us they have had health problems. I contacted this person today by email to tell my stories about them briefly

John Dunn
Executive Director
The Foster Care Council of Canada


Posted by petert at 05:26 AM | Comments (1)

I got hired again for the summer term.

There is not as much work as a teaching assistant in the summer term. I guess the right wing politicians here have been slagging teachers because they believe they get the summer off. I have been following articles in the paper and on the web about teaching more this past week.

I got hired for the summer term. I am also going to be teaching statistics and I feel I have good communications with the hiring boss by email.

I also have a very good schedule for the summer term. One hour on Monday teaching, three hours Tuesday class for myself, five hours role playing game on Wednesday, three hours class on Thursday and then Friday social night with C and J and E. Then possibly work my other job on the weekends.

My sister-in-law number 1 is becoming a teacher. She got admitted to perhaps the number one teacher's college in our country for next year. She also graduated from the university I am studying at. We don't communicate much her and I. This is not healthy but perhaps she is a sister-in-law we do not have the same bond or need to communicate a lot.

I was studying some drug and alcohol and the family pamphlet yesterday that inspired that last statement. Communicative families are healthy families but perhaps those of us with schizophrenia take too much of our families times to communicate. I think of schizophrenia as a family problem or perhaps it has a family solution. The disability support program Act preamble tends to agree with this. Families are part of the solution to recovery at least financially.

Posted by petert at 03:14 AM | Comments (0)

I talked with all the members of my immediate family today

I phoned my dad because I was concerned about his health after his operation. He is concerned about his health information privacy. I am not as concerned about mine. I also chatted in text mode with my bro. I have a book I bought last week for his birthday. I also talked to my mom for just a minute.

I also talked to my wife a lot today. She was lying down lost in her spirit world and I followed her crisis plan as the psych community team has drawn up for her. I suggested she turn off the TV and turn on some classical music and read some native poems. She did this. We planned her day tomorrow. She will try to make two medical appointments tomorrow. One she will see her GP then she will go to the hospital for her clozapine blood work. Then she decided she would go to the market and buy some fruits and veggies.

Posted by petert at 02:50 AM | Comments (0)

May 16, 2004

Cancelled CPR training today

I was not up early enough to do my CPR recert today. I had to phone work and cancel.

Posted by petert at 10:51 AM | Comments (0)

E and R and communication timing

E called today quite a few times. I put him off. But talking to him once got me in the mood to talk on the phone, I was going to call R and then he called me at the same moment basically. Later this morning E called again. Right after R was there in yahoo messenger We just concluded our chat just now. R has a new GP and is getting his hand looked at. He thinks it is his guitar playing that is making his hand hurt.

Posted by petert at 02:16 AM | Comments (0)

May 15, 2004

Reading about suicidal terrorists

I read this paper this past week for my criminal justice and social policy summer school course: Silke, Andrew. The Psychology of Suicidal Terrorism in Andrew Silke, ed. Terrorists, Victims and Society (Chichester, UK: John Wiley & Sons, 2003). This article clears up some ideas that I read in the newspaper years ago or saw on the TV news that stated that terrorists were mentall ill. This used to make me upset. They are not mentally ill these villians.

Posted by petert at 06:35 PM | Comments (0)

Writing email is fun

I added a long four or five line signature file to my netscape email. I have used a variety of email softwares in my life on-line. Email is powerful way to write.

I started my bibliography for my spring term paper. There is a news story in Friday's paper about the possible weakness of the Premier of Alberta's essay bibliography skills. He is trying to complete a degree. I guess he too is a mature student.

I have not been writing any fiction this year. I emailed a number of people in my family just now. I also sent an email about philosophy to a linux user group. Linus Torvalds and Diamond are poor writers in that they misuse the word schizophrenia in their book.

Posted by petert at 04:21 AM | Comments (0)

May 14, 2004

My wife recycles

My wife recycled all the newspapers I was saving. I just save them because I haven't read them yet.

I don't pay for them I earn them by helping the newspaper person with his work. He is high strung but he has a pressured job to get the paper delivered on time. All the newspaper carriers are so pressured. I guess that is my piece of the media world. That is my media job and allows me to count as in counting newspapers and get a little spending cash but actually very little.

Oh well all the old newspapers are now recycled. My wife keeps the apartment clean and I do too, but most people in Canada would find we live in a mess.

I found messyness disatisfying but I can't change it. So I don't bother changing it. I pick up everyday a little but make more mess everyday too.

Posted by petert at 01:41 AM | Comments (0)

I am getting ready to sit on the couch and read.

I read on our couch. I tend to need to read my agenda book and my journals now my bogs all in hard copy. It takes me about an hour a day to stay organised. This is time well spent and is generally a relaxing way to spend time.

Posted by petert at 01:33 AM | Comments (0)

Being hired

I should find out today if I have been hired again for TA work. This summer could be fairly busy.

I worked at one job for four hours today.

Posted by petert at 01:29 AM | Comments (0)

May 13, 2004

Finally some work

I got some work later today. I also did some web mastering this morning. I need to do another 6 or 7 hours web mastering before I can ask for another cheque. I did a union meeting this week and one volunteer meeting. I have two meetings at City hall next week. And then classes start Tuesday. I have a union executive meeting this Thursday before my second class. I find out maybe this Friday if I have been hired for the summer term at my teaching assistants job at school.

Posted by petert at 04:33 AM | Comments (0)

Couldn't attend all the workshop

I attended an advanced workshop in math yesterday. But I couldn't stay for more than three sessions in the morning. Oh well that cost me 20$.

I am gearing up quite nicely for summer school. My dad has paid my fees and given me the money for books. I should buy the books on Friday. The course outline is ready and I studied for the course the past four days at least. I am taking steps to get help with the term paper too.

Posted by petert at 04:29 AM | Comments (0)

May 12, 2004

Larry Davidson on insight

Larry Davidson whose book Living Outside Mental Illness I have been reading the past few weeks describes the sort of value free assumption free research he attempts to do with his interview team. They are not looking for a grand theory or a predictive science.

Here is a quote about insight that is good and possible uplifting. Warning this effect will wear off in the company of clinical psychiatrists.

From the section in chapter 4 entitled "I may be crazy, but I am not stupid"

In this way, schizophrenia appears to be similar to other illnesses that manifest certain signs and symptoms behaviorally without, or prior to, more internal changes. Unlike fever, in which the person feels hotter than usual, diabetes, for example, may at first be suggested through frequent urination but then is diagnosed through blood tests. Prior to experiencing what one comes to recognize as the effects of low blood sugar, there is no experience of diabetes per se. Even in cases in which the signs or symptoms of an illness maybe experienced subjectively as well as observed behaviorally, such as the difficulties in breathing characteristic of asthma, the person is not aware of the nature of the illness until these signs have been explained through a healthcare provider's assessment and diagnosis. The same appears to be true of psychosis; there is no definitive experience of psychosis per se from which a person might then infer independently "I am suffering from a psychotic disorder".

Is this what is meant by the lack of awareness of illness in schizophrenia? It would be unreasonable to describe people with schizophrenia as lacking insight just because they were unable to determine the nature of their disorder on their own......[Larry Davidson, Living Outside Mental Illness: Qualitative Studies of Recovery in Schizophrenia (New York: New York University Press, 2003) p.133.]

Posted by petert at 02:07 PM | Comments (0)

Three day workshop in advanced math

I am up early this morning. It is not as early as I get up for work. I am going to the other university in town for an advanced workshop in shape optimization. I have my laptop packed and my loose leaf binder and one book on the topic. I will just take my vitamins and I am out the door. They will be feeding us breakfast and lunch there. I don't know if I will survive the whole three days. I will see how it feels to attend this today.

Posted by petert at 07:28 AM | Comments (0)

May 11, 2004

The National Art Gallery: Mindscapes

There is a special tour today of the exhibit Mindscapes for our self help group. I told the people at the self help group I wanted to go but today forgot about it. Instead I am studying for my law course.

E called from the ward. He and I joked with cliques about insanity like being a world leader. He threatened to break my toes. I would say it was *crackers* talk on the phone.

Posted by petert at 01:41 PM | Comments (0)

Swelling has gone down/morning dose of vitamins

Well I am up in the normal morning. I woke up at about 9:15 and slept at about 23:00 last night. My wife reports that the swelling has gone down in her feet. He psych-team worker wants to take her to see her GP today.

I am just about to take my morning dose of vitamins: 1 g C, 1 g Niacin.

I made an appointment for my annual physical with my GP.

Posted by petert at 10:35 AM | Comments (0)

May 10, 2004

cartoon character with mental illness

A virutal friend M has this site with a cartoon character who has mental illness

Posted by petert at 06:43 AM | Comments (0)

getting work again

Often for those of us with schizophrenia by the time we are in hospital we have held at least some work already in our lives. Getting back to the working world is also a better way of looking at employment for those of us with schizophrenia because this matches other disabled workers resources and approaches. Going back to school, changing jobs, volunteering, getting off unemployment insurance these are all regular happenings in our economy so we can jump right in with the rest.

Of course, it is not easy. My first job after my major hospitalisation was as a painter of houses. I basically was not very good at working and only painted one house but on my own. Then I worked in something I had done as a student club activity when in high school and later as a volunteer. I worked as a stage hand at a theatre I had helped my brother find work at years earlier. He no longer worked there. This became my job for five years but this job only employed me for approximately five days a year. I am not joking. There was a recession and times were tough. After this work I went back to school and also got on line.

It was not until mid nineties that I found some more regular work helping with the local newspaper route. This matched my night hours as the paper is delivered early in the morning. I did this mixed with playing in a rock 'n' roll band as I gave up my real life self help group. Then I started to tutor math as a volunteer at the psycho-social clubhouse. This later developed into a little work at the disabled students centre at school tutoring fellow and sister students in math. Just last year I was finally hired as a teaching assistant by the school's math department.

I find out at the end of this week on Friday, if I still have this job for the summer term. This morning I am reading the newspaper after having helped with that job again.

Posted by petert at 05:43 AM | Comments (0)

May 09, 2004

Wife walking/Market open

I got my wife to walk around the neighbourhood this morning. She took back milk jugs and bought potatoes. I cut up the veggies for a meal and then she cooked them. I also went out to the market and bought the tomatoes for our meal. I then before sleeping bought eggs and margarine so my wife could make banana bread. The market just opened this weekend. It is a fresh air market selling mostly flowers today for mother's day and plants for gardeners. During the summer season they have fruit and vegetable stalls.

Posted by petert at 11:29 PM | Comments (1)

Sleep the usual 7 or 8 hours

I slept at 3 PM today and woke up at 9:30 but went back to sleep until 10:30. I am up and studying now. I will take my morning dose of vitamins in a few minutes with coffee.

Posted by petert at 11:24 PM | Comments (0)

Feet swollen

My wife's feet are swollen today and I gave them a foot massage.

Posted by petert at 09:23 AM | Comments (0)

Summer course stress or no stress?

I am practicing legal research. I am studying a course this summer that concerns terrorism. I just downloaded the US Patriot Act and yesterday printed off the Canadian Anti-Terrorism Act. I also have to print off the Immigrnation Act of Canada. This is preliminary reading for this course. I don't find this too stressful.

I am relaxed a bit. I did attend the conference for one sesssion yesterday. This session concerned Mexican labour and also childbirth in Europe and also the changing age of women who give birth. I asked one question of a grad student. After the session I talked a bit over coffee with the student M.R. who had studied the Mexican labour demographics and told her about my labour research at Stat's Can. I took some free coffee.

After this session I took the train home and then stayed up with my wife. We talked a lot. I showed her my clinical nursing handbook and how to use it. I read a little para-psychology from a philosophy course reader and then slept at 3 or 3:30. I woke up at about 1 am this morning

I am getting my sleep adjusted so I can attend a three day workshop and be on time. The workshop starts on Wednesday this coming week.

Posted by petert at 02:38 AM | Comments (0)

May 08, 2004

C and J over again.

C and J came over again for our usual Friday night get together. J likes to watch TV here. C and I talked about relationships and jealousy. I fed them both some vegetarian shepards pie my wife made. C had not eaten supper.

Posted by petert at 07:53 AM | Comments (0)

The conference on governance

I decided based on my sleeping hours to actually go to today's sessions of the conference on Global Governance in the 21st century. I helped with the newspapers this morning and am up from 7 PM last night.

Posted by petert at 07:51 AM | Comments (0)

May 07, 2004

I took two doses of vitamins so far today and I am relaxing a bit.

I took two doses of vitamins so far today. The day being in my time 19 hours long at the moment. I have been writing for about two hours now after reading old newspapers for about an hour. I should go to the 7-11 and buy my partner a cranberry muffin and some smokes before she wakes up. I am fairly relaxed so will wait a bit she usually doesn't wake up until 11 am or 10:30 these days.

Posted by petert at 09:45 AM | Comments (0)

Dad getting famous

My dad was written up in a science magazine recently. He is getting famous again. His partner says he is doing some very good work these days. He is an experimental physicist. He is also a member of the Royal Society.

Of course this just feeds my delusions of grandeur somewhat. But maybe those are under control now and I am past that phase of active psychosis.

Posted by petert at 09:16 AM | Comments (0)

No conference attendance

I decided to spend time at home with family yesterday rather than go to school for the conference. I do have workshop next week to attend though.

Posted by petert at 09:15 AM | Comments (0)

I emailed the disabled student centre

I emailed a kind of end of term report to the disabled students centre yesterday. They had also phoned to ask permission to release my phone number to another student. This other student and I shared an award three ways last year for our contributions to the community. The workers at the centre emailed me back some advice and support. I am still set to study and work at school this summer.

Posted by petert at 09:09 AM | Comments (0)

Lots of friends yesterday

I am also stressed with an appointment I made today for 5:15 to do some union transactions. I am picking up the ball a bit on union activities but there is so much work to do. This is all volunteer too and I don't make any money doing this work. Yesterday I called four or five union members about our meeting next week.

I have been up since 3 pm yesterday. I did not do too much yesterday but did socialise quite a bit with family and friends.

L stayed over and her partner is being abusive. I got her interested in going back to school.

R also came by and I gave him the solar flashlight I had promised him for his birthday. He is 35 now. He and L got along well last night over a couple of beers.

E got out of hospital at least for a visit and is back there over night. He had some delusion about an army recruiter who had once called here and he had answered. I confronted him about this delusion to which he said I was an egotist and also that I was rude. Now that I think about it perhaps the recruiter did ask him to join the army and if this had happened perhaps he would have bragged about it a bit embellishing details a little. No harm done but perhaps I can't spot a delusion, in fact.

I talked to my brother via Internet iChat connection and really impressed L because she is a former computer programmer with a college education.

Posted by petert at 09:05 AM | Comments (0)

I am fairly stessed out this moring

The stress I have this morning maybe coming from lots of diet coke. It could be just the night shift sleeping and waking hours I am keeping. I scored poorly on a course but wasn't expecting much from the professor as I did not get along with him very well. Certainly I do better in courses where the professor and I get along.

Posted by petert at 08:55 AM | Comments (0)

May 06, 2004

Still on the night shift hours

I am still on night shift hours. Later today I will wake up and go to a conference at school.

I wasn't sure if I took my meds in the morning. But I am feeling very tired now and it has been only 13 hours since I have been awake so my pills must be making me tired so therefore I took them about 40 minutes ago.

Good night all.

Posted by petert at 07:41 AM | Comments (0)

May 05, 2004

Dad written about in Scientific American.

My dad is doing some great work these days. He was written up in the magazine Scientific American for an article he wrote in Nature.

Posted by petert at 10:39 PM | Comments (0)

Sleeping all day.

I slept from 12 noon to 7 PM after attending a community meeting about disabilities. I volunteering to look into the cities budget as it affects those of us with disabilities.

Posted by petert at 10:37 PM | Comments (1)

Lecturer S invited me to a conference

My professor from last winter's course in Information legal issues has invited me to a conference this week. I will have to miss the green party meeting this week to attend the keynote address. This conference could be 2 hours on Thursday night for the keynote and wine and cheese, at which, of course I won't drink, but will eat. Then two day time periods of sessions, Friday and Saturday. I don't have any scheduled work so can go to these. The conference is on globalisation and power and the analysis of this. It is put on by our department of Political Economy by graduate students in that department. It should be fasinating and I will try to attend the whole thing.

I have a workshop next week that is three days long at the other university in town. This workshop is in math and covers shape optimisation. This will be my first advanced math workshop. Feeling like John Nash, I am.

Posted by petert at 06:05 AM | Comments (0)

Various happenings few friends calling

I have been busy this week arranging my summer courses which means I am busy on the computer or with books or with the phone calling people at school. No one has really called me except for E. R has been quiet since Saturday or so. W also called me on Saturday at least he is still alive. Turns out W is not good at paying his debits.

M ran the writing workshop on Monday. I spoke with S today and she says I am free this Friday and do not need to attend the out of town meeting of the self help group's network.

T answered the phone at the self help group and he does not have schizophrenia but I think he has some addictions issues. He volunteers as a receptionist at the self help group. I am friendly with him when we meet at the self help group but again we have never met in a private environment only public.

Posted by petert at 05:54 AM | Comments (0)

We had a strange day here

My wife was feeling under the weather but improved when she got an email from an old primary school friend she hasn't seen in 20 years. I typed her reply for her.

My dad had some surgery today and is fine and should be home by Thursday or Friday.

My brother is still watching old films. These two gentlemen will pay for my summer school.

I gave some friends a cardboard cat carrier after they loaned us theirs. So I bought two new ones and gave them one.

My mom is out of town visiting her old friend who yes in the 50's or 60's was diagnosed with schizophrenia along with her second husband. They left England and settled here in response to this. They raised three children together and N from her first marriage.

N's mom was good friends with my mom from the late sixties on. They often would visit each other two or three times a year even though they were very far away. We actually shared a house for a little while when my mom had studied for her English and History degree.

N has been charged with assualt before for strangling a psychotic person in the emergency room where N was the doctor. I go on about N and was engulfed with his personality early on in my schizophrenia career or in my twenties. I have seen him about once per decade since then. N is raising two young boys now a days.

Posted by petert at 05:46 AM | Comments (0)

May 04, 2004

The writing group was good

I went to the writing group. It was good. I wrote two one page story exercises. One topic was the meaning of *home*. The other was to write about a musical instrument. I wrote about an infamous stolen bass.

Posted by petert at 02:41 AM | Comments (0)

May 03, 2004

I am going out to a writing group at the self help group

I decided to go out today to the self help group. We are having a writing workshop there today from 4-6. I have some writing handbooks, a short story collection I am published in, my laptop, my blogs in binders. I also have some change for coffee or pop. I also have my membership application for this year and a 2$ donation. All this is ready to go and I am heading out to the bus now. I'll hang arround the drop-in before the workshop.

Posted by petert at 02:28 PM | Comments (0)

We have the day off

My wife has an appointment with our psychiatrist this Wednesday. I see him in two weeks. We have the day off basically. We will do a little shopping and also watch some TV. We need to watch Layer 04 in Lain a Japanese Amine TV show on dvd. My wife will watch the Price is Right this morning.

I did my stuff today, namely registering for summer courses. Now I have a few hours where I can study and possibly do some web mastering today.

I ordered a couple of more solar flash lights so I can give them away for birthday presents to friends like R and V.

I took my morning dose of vitamin C and niacin; 1 g each. I ate corn flakes and bananas for breakfast about half and hour ago.

Posted by petert at 10:05 AM | Comments (0)

Other on-line resources for schizophrenia support

I have been using the newsgroup for years now. I also have been using an email list for support. The email list is generally better behaved.

This weekend on the email list D started a discussion of on-line courses and disability issues. M, E, and myself responded about this topic as we have all taken on-line courses. Generally we found on-line courses positive. I would recommend that if you have schizophrenia that an on-line course would be a good idea if your comfortable with computers and have a good connection to the Internet.

Posted by petert at 05:51 AM | Comments (0)

May 02, 2004

cops and crooks are all on the Internet

I have met cops on the Internet and also crooks email me everyday. We can't leave crime behind by disappearing into the net.

Posted by petert at 02:46 PM | Comments (0)

hard copied all my blogs for carrying around

I printed out all my blogs for rough copy binders. This is public information. It is non-protected class A data. I now have a mental health journal based on this blog.

I backed up my laptop as I do every end of month. Only this time I backed it up to CD using the CD burner I got working with my laptop.

I was frustrated with printing errors this morning printing the blogs. But I did get everything done by about 2 PM in the afternoon.

I will sleep in about an hour. Tomorrow we register for summer courses.

Posted by petert at 02:44 PM | Comments (0)

Got my niacin/emergency prepardness for us too

I got some niacin finally on payday. We also got our groceries for a couple of weeks. I saved 7 days of our medications and have them stored in containers for an emergency. I consulted with our pharmacist about this. I still need to get 7 days worth of water set aside but can do that soon.

Posted by petert at 02:31 AM | Comments (0)

got R his CD burner

A few weeks ago we were broke R was over watching hockey on TV. I offered to sell him my CD burner for 50$. He agreed. Later we found out that burner would not work in his computer. So I bought a CD burner this week by bidding on ebay. I went out tonight to pick it up because the ebay seller lived in our city. Later in the evening I went to R's and installed the burner and tested it by making a music CD for R. I showed him how to make a CD and then came home. CD burner's are a topic for those of us who happen to have schizophrenia and happen to be musicians.

Posted by petert at 02:28 AM | Comments (0)