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Well our role playing game night got cancelled. The Dungeon master had a schedule shift so we are no longer playing on Wednesday nights. This was really the only time I saw these friends these days. In some ways they did not enjoy my company although they would never say this. I am now without experienced game friends. They were also uncomfortable with my legal studies. We grew apart and would often differ on issues. They did not really need to talk about politics or statistics or law where as I do need to talk about these issues. They generally found me annoying. I did enjoy the science fiction and fantasy though. Perhaps we will find a day of the week that works.
I was invited and today attended a workshop on using SAS Enterprise Guide. We worked on computers in the Universities School of business Lab E this morning. I found out about a meeting of my cities Area SAS Users Group that is happening tomorrow morning. To attend this tomorrow I will go back to normal days with early mornings and early nights.
It has seemed recently that the usual chats at Yahoo are getting racist. Chatters with non anlgo names are insulted and ignored for no reason other than thier nick names. This means the chats become insular anglo only events. Also the dealing out of racist comments is negative and I am suprised at some of these so called supportive people. Mind you it is usually people I have not related to in any kind of intellectual of supportive way in the past. It seems good people are still good and bad people are showing that they are bad. Oh well no naming names.
Although my pre-grad school math studies are going well and I also worry about doing enough of these, I am going to back off on these studies for the week. I will only really study SAS today and perhaps on Monday as I have a SAS workshop on Monday morning at school. SAS is one of the statistical softwares we use at our math and stats school.
For legal studies I will focus on my mid-term this week but this mid-term is fairly open. I have done enough studies up till now so only have maybe one required reading or two to still read. As far as suggested readings I have been doing these regularly so am ok with these but these are where I will study more from this week. I need to read a bit more about war crimes, the Winnipeg general strike, and may be continue reading some of the more general books about our times in a legal-political sense.
I will also leave some study time for reading medicine, self help, computers and other fun stuff like Internet research and doing blogs. Mostly this week I have half day assignments and I have all of Thursday off and Thursday is another pay day this week. I will not have had my Friday night friends over for about three weeks after this week.
After my post about avoiding terrorism studies and thinking about this tactical vest I am getting, I looked around the city at things people wear. I got our income verification into to our non-profit landlord on Friday to re-apply for our rent subsidy for another year. Their office is downtown near our main street concert hall. My brother's band used to play here on the quiet Monday nigths. Anyways this area of town is where many street people and other poor hang out but one can walk in ten minutes to the national seat of government at one end of this street where the political elite and tourists hang out. To get there and back I need to either bus or walk this street. Also the psuedo pawn shop/vintage musical instrument store is near there, the mission church where a fellow P eats and goes these days, and numerous other stores like computer supply and health food stores are all around here.
So with my tactical vest in mind I looked at all the people on this street on Friday. I noticed people dressed in costume like clothes and noticed business attire and other styles of clothing. I figured wearing a tactical vest would not be so freakish after all. May be I am just in denial about spending. It was a pleasure to observe people on the streets and of course be helpful and watchful for the older residences and other weaker pedestrians.
I finally took my wife out for dinner yesterday. I then suggested we go to some malls together which we did. I asked a shoe cobbler about getting my winter boots repaired at one mall. Then at the other mall I asked about Palm Treo cell phone/PDA's. We then bought about half of our usual groceries and came home. I then set up the taping for a movie for my wife and went to sleep at about 8 PM. I woke up at 4 AM but it was really 3 AM because of day light savings time. I am feeling in ther groove right now with studies. I will post some studies stuff later this morning. I am volunteering again today in victims support and reading a self help book for workaholism.
I changed my schedule slightly today. I stayed up Friday to 2:15 and then slept. I woke up at 12:15 after midnight. I forgot to tape the lecture on the TV so maybe I can pick it up today. I just spent about two hours doing scheduling and updating both my paper agenda and my palm date book. Speaking of my palm I need to downgrade my cell phones or consolidate the number of cell phones and mobile internet devices I pay for. I am attending a briefing this morning for proctoring work at the exams this year. On Monday morning I have a free session for using SAS. Then on Wednesday I have a session for my security work. I have labs on Tuesday evening so will stay up late Tuesday and up all night and sleep a little in the afternoon on Wednesday then I have some volunteer duties and then our usual game night. I have Thursday off and my mid-term on Friday.
I have a new blog using iBlog on my macintosh computer. It is being used to tell my story of graduate school in statistics.
There is this rule that the two main topics of delusions are Jesus(Allah, Budda) and the other Espionage. Because I have not been raised in a religion I am not too prone to religious delusions. But because I am ethnically connected to the former Soviet Union and the US-Canadian military elite I am very prone to delusions about espionage. I was extremely crazy and psychotic when the Berlin Wall fell and was hospitalised in 1990.
I am going to say that I am today slightly crazy this way again. So I am a person with schizophrenia in remission who is temporarily insane. I could say I was having a rough time or under the weather or high on nothing real or a bit out of sorts. But I am not one to complain. It is this study of anti-terrorism laws that is doing this too me. I am also playing a role playing game with military content which pushes this trajectory of thought. Yet while all these outside experiences are driving me crazy my degree actually supports my real chances of being a military intellegence officer.
Thus the real mixes with the delusional. My solution for this will be to not read about terrorism for a while. I will may be stop grooming myself as a security agent. I have ordered a tactical vest but I know I will look like quite a character wearing this vest about town. Yet who will challenge this as freakish? Will it often just be seen as the costume of a man of action? A sci-fi character at the 7-11? Some of my close friends actually support me dressing like this. In one of my jobs too I am required to dress in a uniform although I am not in anyway mandated to use force in this work. The tactical vest is not the most grotesque tactical vest but a simple professional fisherman's vest. The only other profession I have wanted a vest like this for was being a photographer. I lament the growth of the military in our culture. It certainly needs to be watched closely in my life for my mental health.
This is my last undergrad course needed for my BA. It took nine credits as a second degree. One credit was of course my first year introduction to legal studies. Then there were three second year courses worth a credit a piece and I did these over four years. They were introductions to criminal law, public law and private law. I took the criminal law second year course first in 2001-2002 after I had begun working as a security guard. This was also when I gradatued with my first degree my statistics B.Math but this was only a three year general B.Math not an honours degree. Then for third year and fourth year courses in legal studies these were only half credits, so I needed eight of them plus the fourth year honours paper which was one credit. For third year half credits I only needed three optional courses and one research methods course. I am just now this term completing my last optional third year course in criminal law process and politics. In the winter 2003 term I took my first third year course which was called law in the information society. I focus much on my studies on this area of the internet or computers and the law. After this course in summer 2003 I took my second second year course in private law and wrote about a case at our Supreme court about the right to refuse medications. Recently the person involved in this case has been forced to take medication again so his victory at the Supreme court is really only a theoretical or temporary victory. My next third year half credit course was consumer law in fall 2003. I started studying fourth year courses after having done two second year courses and the one third year course and my first fourth year course was criminal law reform also in fall 2003. This was when I first had my IBM laptop. I then took a business law fourth year course about issues in ecommerce and this was my worst course where I scored my lowest grade in the BA a C in winter 2004. I also took the research methods course that term. For my third fourth year half credit I studied in the criminal law and criminology summer school which has been a tradition at our school since at least the early 1980's and I had wanted to take part in this summer school for years and finally did in summer 2004. I did very well with this course scoring A. This is when I started to have regular 24 hours days awake. I have the same professor from that course this term. I then last school year took my last half credit in fourth year and this was my drug law course. The professor of this course feels I have talent for graduate school and has offered to be a referee for this MA application which I have been preparing in the past week or two. Also last year I completed my honours paper which counted for one credit at the fourth year level. The paper was on the topic of computer hackers. This past summer I completed the last second year course in public law. I only need now to complete this third year course and I am done in about 5 weeks. This will be my first outstanding degree with my graduation average being a B+ in legal studies and a good B over all. The university regard this as graduation with high honours.
I took time while studying for this BA to also study a philosophy course in the history of ethics. Two sociology courses one in criminology and one in the sociology of science and technology. I also studied last year a course in numerical analysis and also a course in data mining.
Next week, I have my mid-term in the third year criminal law course and should get an A on the mid-term or at least a B+. Then on December 10th, Human Rights day I have my final exam. I will have to wait until March to find out if I have formally graduated and then will attend graduation in June along with spring graduates.
In the winter I will not be in a program but will be considered a special student and can really study whatever I want provided that there is space for me in the course. I am thinking of studying experimental design and have started to read about combinatorics for this course. I am also considering statistical computing. I also am considering bioethics as a course. In legal studies I am considering state security and dissent, feminist legal issues, and risk and the legal process. I would like to find a space in the medical issues in criminal law course as this course covers topics like the insanity defence but this course is full right now. Again I will cut this list down to one or two course by the time the winter term begins.
I tidied up my office desk a little and the area and cables around my laptop. I am borrowing about 37 books which are piled up around my living room computer which is where I do most of my computer work and reading these days. The office does not get much use these days. There is paper all over the floor in the office. The office is also where I keep my laundry and clothes. I also have some book shelves and keep books and disks and also miscellaneous computer parts on those shelves.
I woke up at 3 PM this afternoon. I had slept at 7 AM having delivered the newspapers again this morning. Tonight we will review our course material as we have a mid-term next week. My transcripts have been sent from the local college to the graduate school now. I got confirmation letters from the college today. I have setted on my referees and two referees, my legal studies MA referees have agreed to referee. I now need to drop the forms off for them. Also one of my M.Sc. refereees has agreed to referee. The other M.Sc. referee is on sabatical but has agreed in the past to referee so that should be ok and I have studied two courses with her and may be taking a third course from her this winter.
I read about the Special Air Service last night. I also continue to study a book called The Algebra a Beginning Graduate Student Should Know. I also read more about the drug crime connection covering history of the criminalisation of drug abuse in the UK.
After getting in from teaching I cleaned the top front of our fridge. There was a layer of brown from tobacco. I also took our French fridge poetry magnets down and put up our new Shakesphere fridge poetry magnets. I then cooked some yellow peppers our neighbour gave us with some chick peas on a low heat and am just eating them now before napping for a few hours. I am up for a long day today so took 3 mg a half days dose of risperadol to keep my from becoming too frazeled today. I learn to do prudent self dosing after coaching from nurses at the hospital. Over the years I have confirmed this practice with my psychiatrists as an ok practice. I am up from 11 AM Tuesday and it is 5 AM Wednesday now so an 18 hour day. I will now try to nap until 8 or 9 AM.
I now know that I am writing my criminal law final exam on December 10th. I am writing the mid-term in this course next Friday November 4th. Both are being written in the evening.
I could have been working today. But I have a meeting this afternoon at my self-help group. It is a board of directors meeting. This morning I am preparing my transcript requests and will mail these in the next few hours. I am also expecting in the mail, a microphone, called an iTalk for my iPod mp3 player. My wife is still asleep and I am up from 7:30 this morning having slept 12 hours.
I could have worked today but instead I am on call volunteering. I will also go in for an office shift in about half an hour. Oh well this is real law enforcement experience. I will then come home and sleep. I will be sleeping early tonight hopefully. I have a board of directors meeting tomorrow at our self help group.
I just read the instructions for the application to graduate school in biostatistics. My dad helped me with some money to pay for the applications. I should get the transcipts requests mailed this week and also this week I need to continue to canvass for referees. One goal is to visit my drug law professor in her office to discuss being a supervisor as well as a referee. I am fairly sure my main referee in statistics will be ok being a referee but she is actually away working somewhere else. I will now check the files for both applications and begin to process the transcipts requests.
I am starting a blog for my graduate studies. I will try to write a blog policy for myself to control my blogging on this blog as it is being hosted on school web space. I will need to join policy from the school web space policy and my own internet smarts.
I an reading some oil production statistics in Jihad v. McWorld.
This is typical of college life today. I woke up at 2 PM yesterday. I stayed up and wrote things and read things and am up still this morning. I will now stay up for about a 24 hour day. I will stay up to attend a charity booksale of faculty and library books. This all seems like typical college life.
I gave the statistics mid-term, as part of my teaching assistant duties, last night or helped proctor it might be a better way of saying this. It went well and the boss offered to be a referee in my statistics graduate school application and gave me some advise on how to find referees.
In other school news today I am trying out iBlog on my Macintosh and am hosting the blog on my student web space. This blog will be a record of my statistics graduate school experience. Yes I do too much web publishing and it costs too much. At least my blog here at schizophrenia.com is free for me.
I spent most of the night listening to Philip K Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep. I also did our income reporting so that task is done. I also read a lot of newspapers including entertainment and arts sections. I don't usually read entertainment and arts sections. I read an overview of Active Mining in a research conference proceedings book.
I finally took my pills at 7:00 AM and will now sleep until 2 PM then go to school to proctor a mid-term tonight.
My partner had some beers today and decided not to take niacin anymore. She slept early tonight. I am up a little late tonight after attending my legal studies lecture. I took some books back to our school's library and borrowed some new books. I always visit the new book shelf when dropping in on the library. I am also going to do some income reporting tonight and some grad school applications.
I am downloading my bank account data for the past 18 months. I am also thinking about my PA rental business. I may only attend my course today and sleep until about 2 or 3 PM. I have been working at the computer for about two hours now since getting in from my game night. I also did some reading about Canada's special forces and did some pen and ink accounting and reading a small business special section of this week's newspaper. This is what got me downloading my bank data on the computer. Usually I just write it down in pen and ink a day at a time via telephone banking. I am going to take a break from the computer now.
I was supposed to do building inspections today as part of my health and safety committee work but did not have enough sleep or wake time. I prioritised my main work and my social night tonight. I will be on a good sleep schedule for the rest of the week. Tomorrow there is steward training at noon. There is also a workshop on IP and copyright at school tomorrow that I want to attend. I note here that a book project I am involved in is starting to earn royalties which will pay for another edition. Then in the evening tomorrow I have my weekly lecture to attend. Then Friday I am working in the late afternoon early evening at our statistics student's mid-term. Then this weekend I will mark it.
I think a majority of my friend's parents have gotten divorces. Some of my friends have also gotten divorces. Some of my recent friends have never settled down with one partner and lead a single's life.
Recently I have been exposed to violence in relationships. Perhaps this was always there. My first sexual partner had been sexually assulted by a previous partner.
It seems that as adult children of divorce we are as likely to use these patterns of explosion to end relationships. We would rather fight it out then work it out. Better to end it then work it through. I think this relates to explosive behavior. Maybe we are repeating our parent's battles.
I was worried about studying and work last night. But I got my marking done. I also got through the lecture watching from last week's lecture. I have some time this afternoon to view the course web site. I also have some time to prepare for the labs I have to give tonight. This is making me feel good and less pressured. I have also been invited to a SAS educational workshop at the end of the month on Monday October 31st in the morning.
My next problem is getting up tomorrow morning for building inspections as part of my health and safety work. But I will be paid for this work so that should be good. Tomorrow too I am attending and scholarship presentation. I have won this scholarship before so will attend as a former winner. I often chat at the train stop and on the buses with this year's scholarship winner. He is young socialiist activist and is from the USA.
I got the marking done again. It was last minute. I just need to record the marks now. I will watch some of last week's lecture too.
It only took me half an hour to mark one Q just one more Q to go now. The problem is dealing with some social facts but in fact if one were studying this area of sociology one would not be so certain that the numbers for this statistical problem would actually be accurate. In fact, these numbers might never actually be available but in our imperfect world these numbers are always available for policy but in true science these numbers would be doubtful and more uncertain than they seem to be presented in this statistics textbook. I will meantion this to the students later today. The problem claims to measure the number of unknown cases but by definition these are still unknown in number and will always remain unknown.
I need to mark two more Q's on the assignments and then spend about 2.5 hours preparing for the assignments. I need to sleep by about 3 AM or 5 AM and wake up at 2 PM for a less than 24 hour day and a good ten hours sleep. I am working later today at 5:30 PM until 10 PM.
In our provincial drug plan the recipient needs to pay 2$ to the pharmacist to get their prescription even if they pay nothing for the pills. The pharmacist we use covers this 2$ but L's does not reflecting her life instability. Others we know also have to pay 2$. I gave L 2$ today to pay for her pain killers. She has bruised ribs right now she says.
My PA system almost got used today but it does not look like rain so it will not be needed at school. I will though help staff a table for a Make Poverty History event. I did a little research into points for ending third world debit based on green party policy.
I have my wobbly meeting tonight. We are still not sure how many wobs will show up but we are meeting.
I have some marking to do today and will get that done a little this morning and early afternoon then later tonight. I also have some more of last week's lecture to watch on the VCR but have watched half of it now. I am just getting my day going here on a normal houred day. I woke up at 8 AM this morning. I am reading a little and will be buying cat food soon. I will first mark one Q on the student's home work before my wife wakes up and before I go out and buy cat food and pop.
I have been listening to podcasts on my iPod and music too. I am just syncronising the iPod with my palm calendar now. I am ripping all my CD's and installing them on the iPod. I have been reading and writing all morning. I also taught R how to play 12 bar blues and also rock and roll. I also taught him the major scale and the minor scale. I critiqued his left hand finger technique a little.
I am volunteering now in victim's support for parts of today. I will also work a little on marking today. Tomorrow the green party are using my PA system. We will need a ride for this system to school. This will also be volunteer work. I will also do some marking tomorrow.
I should be receiving the iBook today. My partner is drinking beer today. I will eat some left over turkey with gravy this afternoon. I am studying advanced statistics today and also community informatics. I am updating my blogs and generally feeling ok, if but a little tired.
I had been up since 4 PM Wednesday and then stayed up over night. I marked statistics homework and helped with Thursday's newspapers. I then worked 7.5 hours at my security job. I had hoped to attend my legal studies lecture on Thursday evening but came home and slept. I recorded this lecture on Friday and need to view more of it now.
L had cut her finger and wanted first aid when I got home but I just went straight to sleep. She saw a doctor later in the day and had her finger bandaged. It was horrible. She seemed insane going around town with her finger bleeding. My wife is turned off her now.
I woke up at 6 AM Friday and studied all morning. I then went to school for a union meeting and kept minutes on a laptop running Win98. I then went out and bought an iPod 60GB MP3 player as these were discounted as new models that play video are available now. I spent most of Friday late night Saturday moring installing songs on the player. I like having my music organised and think this is good for my musical education.
I helped with Saturday's newspapers then slept. I bought pop and milk before sleeping. I woke up at about 4 PM and have been reading about child poverty research, electronic surveillance law from the 1970's in Canada, and revolutionary women and feminism. I will read more tonight and complete marking one section of the students assignment #2 tonight.
I will stay up over night and volunteer on the day shift in victim's support on Sunday. My ibook is being hand delivered on Sunday so that will keep me busy Sunday and parts of Monday. I guess I should get the marking done tonight so I have more time with the iBook on Monday and Tuesday.
Computers and smoking take money but more especially time. I make time for my smoking and spent a fair amount of time at the computer. Speaking of smoking I took the PA set up down from the living room and wrapped the mixer up in its plastic bag and put in the office where there is less smoking.
My wife is just listening to David Bowie's Low album in the other room. I have not really listened to this album much. I had a high school friend who was really into David Bowie and I read two biographies of David Bowie in the early 1990's when getting out of hospital.
I took a shift today at work. I am up from about 4 PM Wednesday. I slept from 9:30 AM to 4:00 PM so about six and a half hours sleep. I have not been stressed out today. I will have a quiet day shift but will be around hundreds of people at work today. I will work until late afternoon then take a bus straight to school. I will have about an hour to get to school. But since I am getting off work at a normal leave work time I can catch an available rush hour bus and then catch the school light rail train. I will just check my work schedule and the bus schedule on the web now.
I will also help with the newspapers this morning. After the lecture tonight I will be off of class until next week. I can study at work too probably depending on the nature of the work today. I will have only marking to do this weekend and it will be due next Tuesday. So work after today should not be too stressful until work again next Tuesday. I will also have a brief union meeting on Friday but this too should not be too stressful.
I will volunteer for 24 hours this weekend but if it is quiet I will only really have a two to four hour shift in our office on Sunday. I am reading about child poverty and also comunity networking these days. I am also looking at major western world politics, geosecurity and terrorism in my studies.
I heard a presentation from a community champion tonight. I asked her about income diversity and also union participation in the community.
After this I went to my game night and we completed a mission in the Stargate game.
I picked up a new land line phone this morning. This was the mysterious parcel, the phone I had ordered from Bell. I just set it up after getting home from the game. I am working tomorrow at my security job. Then I have my weekly class in the evening.
I worked to about 10PM. I stayed a little late and gave some students some extra help. I now have to mark their assignments at home. I got home and my wife was getting ready to sleep. I got her her meds and we agreed on some plans for tomorrow. I answered emails and am now studying and getting ready to help with the newspapers. I will pick up a parcel later this morning and this may be the iBook computer finally.
I spent about two hours after waking up at noon, organising my schedule and answering email. I doing a little green party research and also web mastering for my union. I also helping my father with his email back up. I was able to find some back up email from 1996-1998 last night. I imported it to my eMac computer. I have to buy some cigarettes today and work this evening at school. I should take back some library books too.
I just proof read my thesis proposal for typos and found one. I corrected this typo. I think I need to rewrite it still for clarity as well.
I just washed the Turkey with soap and our friend L is just making the stuffing. We should have the bird in the oven shortly.
I got walked all over at the end of my shift again. I was so angry at having to stay late and walk to the highway to catch the bus. My coworkers could have prevented both of these situations or alieviated them somewhat. But I realised that I should not bring this anger home. The big test tonight was how to deal with this anger this maddness. If I can cope with this I am not disabled. My greatest concern with my schizophrenia is getting angry.
I am happy to say my anger has disapated. Although my wife asked me repeatedly for more beer and had drunk quite a few already I did not get angry. We made some food and that helped me cope with the anger. We worked together and she is even doing some recycling now. I am well fed and happy. I now know what to do to relax...Of course eat and sleep but also write blogs. Writing blogs relaxes me and it is a good thing for self exploration.
I dreamed of old friends and travel this morning. I also dreamed of school and bullying. I dreamed of a lady in red threatening another lady and also my brother and his kids and playing in a store. In my brother's house and that scene we morned a friend who is actually not dead in real life. My brother was sympathetic in the dream. I was also beaten up almost in the dream and gave academic advice based on my academic record in the dream. In the end I was being chased over a pedestrian over pass and then woke up to the alarm. I thought about the dream a bit sitting on the couch.
Yesterday I dreamed of getting new social housing with some sort of symbolic fire place and an important politican who in real life supports social housing. My dreams are usually not so easy to remember these days. Perhaps my health is better now with less school work and more reading.
We have Thanksgiving earlier than the US in Canada because of our farming climate. So Monday is Thanksgiving. I bought an 8 kg turkey on Friday night with R's help. We also purchased some apple pie, peas, and cranberry sauce. The bird is defrosting in the fridge now and will be short on defrosting by Monday. It will only defrost 54 hours but should defrost 80 hours. It will also take a long time to cook about 6-10 hours. L will make our stuffing. C and J will come over for the dinner and maybe R depending on when he goes to his family Thanksgiving dinner. So happy Thanksgving everyone reading here.
I am working a 12 hour shift today. It should be a quiet day at work. I will need to walk a lot. I did get some naps before work today. I had been up since 2 PM yesterday but napped for almost one hour at 1:45 AM to 2:30 AM then again from 2:30 AM to 3:45 AM. So a couple of hours rest. I have a 12 hour shift ahead of me. I will take the bus in about 45 minutes to work. I have my tuna fish sandwhich packed and books to read if the day is quiet. I will just take 1 gram of vitamin C and 1 gram of niacin now. My wife is now taking 500 mg of niacin per day comfortably.
I read the course textbook for statistics for about half an hour this weekend. I need to spend about another three hours on Monday studying this textbook for the labs on Tuesday. I am also writing an M.Sc. thesis proposal today. I have a rough draft but haven't read it yet I just wrote one page and printed it but still need to read it once through.
But at the moment I am going to try to nap for about four or five hours because I have to go to work early Sunday morning. I managed to help deliver the newspapers this morning and also did a volunteer on call shift today. I am also reading some legal studies and other books.
We had a lecture on war crimes last night. It was shocking to watch the footage from Nazis Germany and the death camps. I left in a strange mood. I hung around school for about two hours before the lecture. I had everything read that was required. I borrowed some more books about terrorism. I am borrowing about 40 books now. I had to take back the book on basic gender studies. I am coming to understand that law school will be too expensive to study. I may investigate grants and other funding help but I am thinking the MA in legal studies will be more fun intellectually and better for me.
I managed to do some neat things with Dreamweaver saving me time at web mastering. It took me about two hours and I have little bit more tweeking to do of some files in the web site. Basically I was updating contact information and writing a little fresh content.
I woke up at about 6 PM this evening. Our social night was cancelled. I chatted with my wife a bit and chatted on-line. I read a bit. I am getting ready to do some web mastering for our self help network. I may have a short day today only staying up to 6 or 7 am, Thursday. I will help with the newspapers Thursday morning and I have a class to attend Thursday night. I am also most done the required readings for this week's class and have done many extra readings.
I was working for about six hours in the past 16 hours. I am only on about a 20 hour day and going to sleep. The school work was not such a big problem and I did a good consistant job in my teaching last night. I also helped the paper carrier with his newspapers this morning.
But a few conflicts on line with racists(who were friendly up to this point in other words trusted) in support groups and also some mis-aimed gripping in my radical union have some battles raging in my mind at the moment. Also I am reading a fair amount of critical stuff about the Internet and trying to join these authors voices, but actually I am just jumping on a band wagon and not really letting my own voice speak. I have many undone tasks I could be doing at the computer. Maybe this cut back in school study hours will give me more time to get to some of these computer tasks.
Also re-entring music is to pick up the pieces of an emotional subject that in my background is a mine field of personality fights, demands and unmet expections that I have for working in music. I should be seeking serious musicians but I am not so sure that term serious musicians can be taken at face value. Some of the so called serious musicians I have know are seriously twisted people who don't seem to be able to maintain a real life. Serious is also a state of being emotional that is unhealthy for long periods of times and simply put an excuse for authoriatrian behaviour and often unchecked by social norms. Also musicians who have schizoprhenia have some horror stories of unsuccess and I have tried to steer a path of winning and avoiding conflicts or areas where success is less likely. But I only have my father's advise some times on issues. In some ways I should be paying more experts to advise me.
I woke up at 1 PM today and am just preparing to go and run the labs tonight. I need to make a trip to the store before heading off to school. I need to make some photo copies too at school. I am in a bit of a rush, I read my alumni magazine today briefly.
I stayed up late and finally got to completing the marking of the student's statistics homework. I have recorded the grades and just need to email them to the professor now and I can sleep until the afternoon.
My wife is looking for short cuts to loose weight. I suggested she take a niacin. She took one 500 mg pill and did not flush up. May be this metaboliser will help her. But more importantly it will help her with her schizophrenia.
My drug law professor has agreed to meet with me and discuss supervising my MA in legal studies. She really made me work hard last fall to write a very good paper on drug addiction treatment and the law. This paper is one of my best in terms of having a very academic diction. She may be able to supervise some studies on criminal law and mental health. I should try to study the criminal law and health issues course next term but need to find a space in this course. I guess with that reminder I am off now to surf the school's registration system to check on class openings. I will proof read this and then surf on over to the University web site.
I spent about an hour surfing the law school application web site last night/this morning. I printed the manual for the application. I emailed some four lawyers and two community leaders looking for referees. Today I have two lawyers who are my past teachers and also a community leader to act as referees. So this is on its way to being ready to go. I will check the application again tonight and read the manual for this year's applications.
I managed to mark three quarters of the homework now. I have 2 Q's left to mark, I will do this tonight. I want to get this all marked by 10 PM tonight. I can stay up late tonight like I like to do. I am working tomorrow at 17:30 so will leave for work at about 16:00 or so. I will hang out in the union office for a little while before going to the lab.
I am reading about information overload and also gender today. I also watched some technical analysis of the stock market on TV. My partner made a salad which I bought lemons for this morning and mint yesterday.
A friend of mine I have known since 1966 or so has started a blog for a school course he is doing. He like me is a teacher now. This reminds me I should continuie to apply to law school, graduate school and teachers college this month. I need to surf the net to do this. I am off to do this school application surfing now. I may skip the meeting tomorrow morning.
I am feeling rather relaxed today and did a little slow paced shopping for groceries. I got our major shopping trip done with a cab driving me home. I also did some specialty shopping for mint leaves at a health food store.
I did complete another quarter of the grading I have to do this week. Tomorrow I will volunteer on behalf of our self help group. I will attend a coalition meeting in the morning. Which reminds me I must check the location of the meeting. I will also work on Tuesday evening and do more marking before then. Wednesday to Friday I will have off work. Then Saturday I am volunteering and Sunday I am working in security.
I still need to think about getting a better job and more work.
I am enjoying reading cyber sociology. I really like books. Today I have read about drug offences in Britian, the Greek, Solon and his legal constitution, information overload, and the rule of law. I emailed two professors about finding a supervisor for my legal studies MA. I also read a paper directly for my own course that we were assigned to read this week. I borrowed books by famous academics in Internet studies, books on law, a book on women work and technology, and a book on crime and numbers. I am borrowing about 35 books at the moment.
I am marking some statistics homework today. I hope to get another quarter of this marking done this morning. I am tempted to go to Future Shop and buy stuff like an iPod today. I am also thinking of going to the library and borrowing a book or two and returning some books. I am working in security next weekend. I have no school on Monday and instead will attend a community meeting so should sleep early tonight by 8 PM. I am working on Tuesday night then have Wednesday off then class on Thursday.
I seem to love these long days. I certainly enjoy the long sleeps. I took my meds about an hour ago and will now sleep at 3 PM after being up from 12 noon Friday.
I managed to buy a bus pass, smokes, and groceries and only spend 5$ on something unplanned. I am heavily behind on bills this month but have spent 930 dollars at the music store in the past two months. I am such an independent musician ;) Said with sarcasim towards individualistic neo-liberal personal accumulation schemes. Am I really smarter or more creative owning music technology? I think with all the music technology I just bought I did not buy one item with a integrated circuit chip in it.
Oh well our rent will be paid and our debit was serviced and I even bought stock. Our house has some food and some drink. We will buy our major amount of groceries tomorrow. But most probably our phone will be disconnected and our power turned off.